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snowballchap · May 30, 2009, 03:49 PM

My question will take some explaining. Am a traveling salesman. I get home about four days a month. About one year ago, while staying at my friends house, we were drinking and I decided to stay in their spare bedroom. After getting settled in, his girlfriend entered the room without clothing. Evidently, my friend thought it would be hot. I declined and sent her out.

While on the road I would get calls from her, trying to convince me it was okay. I told her with him in the other room, it was too creepy. So she asked if we could meet in a hotel without his knowledge (I know it was a sneaky thing); I complied.
Over the past year we met at places and made love while she remained with her boyfriend. She finally moved out and got her own place, but their relationship was still going on. Each time I came home, it would seem she would fall madly in love with me, only to have this love dissipate when I would go back on the road. My recent trip home, I refused to see her because I told her I couldn't handle the roller coaster ride any longer. She handled it well, too well. I stayed away while at home, and she sent friendly, greeting type sms messages while I was home.

I got a call last night where she wanted things to go back to the way they were before this all happened and she wants a friendship. During the past year, her and her boyfriend broke off twice. They are together now. Also, she is not sexually attracted to him, for obvious reasons.

I agreed to the friendship on condition that that's where it stays, she said she'll try.

I love this girl, and she told me that she fell out of love with me; she feels I have too because I have not told her so in 2
Months.

I want to be with her, but I'm not sure if she only wants me to remain around for sex or a plan b. She knows it's against my nature to remain friends with an ex lover.

My question is, should I hang out to see if I have a shot, or should I walk?

snow124 · May 30, 2009, 05:11 PM

Walk. You're screwing over your friend and nothing good will come from it.

snowballchap · May 30, 2009, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by snow124

Walk. You're screwing over your friend and nothing good will come from it.

I know where you're coming from and I guess I needed to hear it from someone else.

Honestly, in the beginning, she made it seem like we weren't because though she was attracted to me, she felt disrespected that he wanted to share her with me. That was the hook. That made it okay in my mind. I felt as though she had come to realize what a creep he was, to my dismay, she didn't leave him; she was always using the "kids" excuse to stay. She kept me around by saying, "it will work out", "we will be together" etc.

The past 3 months it became obvious it was for the sex because we became more like friends to the point where I was relaxed with her telling me what other guys she liked etc. No real jealousy, because I was beginning to write off the relationship. I have a new dilemma now because she confided in me that she is interested in another guy and I suspect this was the turning point for us (yes I think she has issues), and one of the reasons I refused to see her my last time home.

Now I'm stuck wondering if I should tell her boyfriend that she may have another guy. I'm leaning toward keeping my mouth shut. Any input out there?

none12345 · May 30, 2009, 10:02 PM

You walk. You will find another girl that is just your's no one else's.

taoplr · May 30, 2009, 11:04 PM

Walk. Say nothing. Be glad you don't have to deal with the inevitable complications that will appear at the end. She's not your friend (or his, or the new guy's) and your friend is a little twisted.

Yeah, you've got a shot, and she's a turn-on; but what will it be like to be with her? She is, after all, a busy girl.

snowballchap · May 31, 2009, 03:10 AM

Originally Posted by taoplr

Walk. Say nothing. Be glad you don't have to deal with the inevitable complications that will appear at the end. She's not your friend (or his, or the new guy's) and your friend is a little twisted.

Yeah, you've got a shot, and she's a turn-on; but what will it be like to be with her? She is, after all, a busy girl.

Best answer. I knew this! Hearing it from you is all I needed. Thanks!

Lonelyandbroken · May 31, 2009, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by snowballchap

Best answer. I knew this! Hearing it from you is all I needed. Thanks!

Yup if she did this to your friend with you. What is she going to do to you?

zippit · May 31, 2009, 08:41 AM

You'r obviously looking for more in a relationship than what she has to offer,I think she was just luring you with the nice msg;s and wants it to be a sexual thing again.by the way still friends with the guy?