[eolhc11]

Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. We argue a lot, he is very insecure, possesive, protective and I'm more laid back. Hes always had issues with me going out, but is clever in the way that he does it. Im in my first year at uni, and he's having a gap year next year, but wants to live with me from September, in my student house with four other girls. He suggested this to me and I already new that this is not going to happen, as this is not what I want. I really enjoy my space, know that we argue far too much already and just want to live by myself with the girls. So I told him straight out that I don't want this. He got all stroppy, told me that I had ruined everything, all of his plans, and basically that Im selfish. This has all really upset me. So perhaps I am being selfish here, but I'm doing what I know is going to be best for me, and I'm sure us living together would even push us apart more, as I know we'd get on each others nerves, id lose friends, as he wouldn't like me going out, or would have to come. Its really not what I want. He doesn't understand and turns it all around saying, "Its because Im so rubbish " and "every other girlfriend would like this". I don't know what to do.

At the moment, I'd really like to end things, I love him, but I honestly need a break. We have a holiday booked for August and all I can think at the moment is I can't stand this any longer. I don't know what to do. I have no one to confide in, he is literally my best friend. I have spoke to him about this, but he doesn't understand. I don't know what else I can do. We argue everyday, this is not making me happy anymore.

[shazamataz]

If "every other girlfriend would like this" maybe he should find another girlfriend.

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like he respects your feelings at all and maybe you would be better off without him.

[DoulaLC]

Maybe just be honest with him... tell him you have come to realise that the two of you are at different stages in your lives and want different things. Let him know you love him, but you aren't ready for a more committed relationship with him such as moving in together.

[I wish]

If space is important to you, then it should be important to him. If he doesn't respect your space, he doesn't respect you. If he doesn't respect you, how can he be your boyfriend?

This relationship can only work out if he starts changing his behavior. If he can't, then maybe it's time for you to find someone else who is more compatible with you and who actually respects your space.

[Survivor07]

Your last sentence says everything.

A relationship should add to your life, bring you joy, help you learn and grow... that's not happening anymore, so you two need to talk and you need to be upfront and honest with him about how you're feeling and what you want and what you don't.

There's nothings selfish about wanting to spend this time in your life studying and living with your girl friends, hanging out and going out and having fun. That is what you should be doing.

My impression is he wants to "babysit" you. I could be wrong, but if I'm right... well, then that's just wrong.