[master88]

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

[none12345]

Things have changed so much, and you have not. I can see why she dumped you, but can't for the life of me see you getting back together soon.

I agree here so if you're plan is to get back with her, I don't think it will work. Actually you didn't take our advice to let go and move on. That was our advice, not to help you get back with your ex because that will just lead us to giving you bad advice and steering you to the wrong direction and you ll just end up getting hurt even more.

[chuff]

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

This reminds me of a post I saw here before.

she's just going to play this cycle over and over until you quit playing it with her.

And so the cycle begins again.

[Alty]

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

You're playing a game, it's called "How long until it all goes in the $hitter again".

I'm going to place a bet; 2 weeks, 1 month tops.

You can't keep it rolling because it never was. You're trying to push a square wheel up Mount Everest.

Write back when you break up again. We'll be here.

[master88]

Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

[none12345]

Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

That's what you said last time. Are you really ready to move on and be happy?

[master88]

I go home in a week, we live 4 hours apart. I have a pretty nice internship in NYC. All of these things will hopefully help me get past all this.

[master88]

I talked with a good female friend today. She convinced me to talk to her and basically lay it on the line. Tell her that I'm tired of being tugged along. If she wants to be together we are. If not, then we need to part ways. I realized she may respond with a give me more time response. We talked and said that the best counter to this would be, "ok then I guess we are done, I've given you six weeks, but I can't be played like this forever." I hope this is the right thing to do. Hopefully I'll get a true answer from this all.

[chuff]

Yesterday 12:47 pm

Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

Today 4:09 am

I talked with a good female friend today. She convinced me to talk to her and basically lay it on the line.

And the cycle begins again.

Tell her that I'm tired of being tugged along. If she wants to be together we are. If not, then we need to part ways.

No offense against your friend, because I don't doubt for one second she has your best interest in mind, but how exactly would this work? She's been tugging you along for a month and half and she's a woman so she understand emotions better then you so she knows this day is coming and already has a prepared answer. She's controlling you through words and you should be controlling her and this situation through actions. Constantly breaking NC and asking or demanding another chance makes you look more and more pathetic and weak every time you do it. It's kind os a joke to her at this point. She's just toying with you, so for you to go in and say now "give me one more chance or we are done....this time I mean it..... seriously..... this time I'm not going to change my mind....... no I really mean it ....... it's over if you don't come back with me" is not really going to work. In fact, it's going to blow up in face again and your going to wonder later what you were thinking.

OR you can just save yourself the humiliation and start to heal and not look weak and pathetic to somebody who thinks you are weak and pathetic.

I realized she may respond with a give me more time response.

My guess it is going to be, "If you loved me you'd give me the time I require, and this does not give me high hopes if this is how you are going to treat me, maybe you should think about it for awhile and get back to me when you are ready." Yeah, she's going to turn it around on you.

I'd be curious to hear what the other posters are going to say she says, and then find out what she really does say. Hey, if you are going to bring this upon yourself, we all might as well learn something from it.

We talked and said that the best counter to this would be, "ok then I guess we are done, I've given you six weeks, but I can't be played like this forever."

Let me get this straight, you should be ignoring her, but instead you are going to do what you always do and break your own cycle and then tell her she can't do what she is doing in the exact moment you are trying to stop her from doing it. On top of that, she's supposed to respect you for this? She's supposed to love you for this? Again, how will this work?

I hope this is the right thing to do.

It's not.

Hopefully I'll get a true answer from this all.

Seriously? How can you write that? She's screwed with your head for six weeks, don't you think that's an answer?


After having said all that above, I'm going to shock you and every other poster here. I want you to do exactly what your friend said to do. On one condition. Whatever happens, I want you to come back here and be 100% honest and post exactly what was said, and what the results were. No lying, no exaggerating. Just the facts.

Oh, don't get wrong she's going to serve your butt to you on a silver platter. But you clearly didn't like the answers you got here so you searched and search until you found the one person who told you what you wanted to hear. If you read through what your friend said, what you got from it was this message, "I get one more chance to talk to her." So if you are that desperate to look that weak to someone who strings you along then you know what, We are tired of trying to carry your balls for you. Drag them back here after she stomps on them and let us know how it went.

And the cycle begins again.

[Romefalls19]

It's like a merry go round, it keeps going around and around.

Hopefully you will learn, also your friend. Is a moron. Not once have I seen where a person went a proclaimed their love, and then gave an ultimatum, work out the way they want it to.

It usually results in a restraining order

[master88]

Threads merged and edited

So today's the last day of classes, I called her yesterday and we agreed to meet in the afternoon. So I called her today at 2, no response. Called her at 5 and she picked up saying she was at the car dealer, her car was having problems. I can verify this as true, my friend saw the truck towing her car. So I say, OK is 8 good for you. She replies, I'm not sure, I'll call you. I've heard the I'll call you before and not actually get a call. I know I should've just ignored her the entire break. It would be a lot easier if she actually was mean to me during the relationship, but this was not the case. I screwed it up so I have a huge sense of loss. I'm really starting to get fed up with this cycle though. I go home for the summer tomorrow and we live 4 hours apart. If she doesn't say goodbye to me in person, I'm going to be extremely angry.

What is the best plan of action for this situation. I really do miss her but I feel like its not healthy for me with these games. My focus is going to be on meeting a lot of girls this summer, hopefully it will be easier than ever now that my 21st birthday is in 4 days. It might make me realize there are better girls out there, or that I had it good and I blew it. Should I just ignore her the entire summer, if I want her to want me back. Also what should I do if she calls to wish me a happy birthday, should I answer and say thanks, sorry I got to run. Or should I just let the voicemail get it.

[liz28]

You already said your sick of these games so why keep playing them with one another? What are you expecting to happen here? Neither one of you have learned your lessons and it doesn't seems like the two of you are given this relationship another as agreed upon.

[master88]

Update, We spoke tonight and I finally said what I should have all along. I said "I'm sorry I can't wait anymore, I'm moving on." She immediately responded in a very weird upset tone, "I hope you have fun with your new girlfriend. I just don't like you like I did before" I replied "I'm sure whoever I find will be a great match for me, because I'm a good guy with a lot to give." She then also said "I think we should be friends for awhile." I told her that that wouldn't work. She then said, "I like the old you more than anything I ever have." I responded with a "I know and thank you for breaking up with me, because it taught me a lesson and I'm back to my good old self." She then told me she was officially dating that guy. I responded "well i wish you luck." Finally she was like well "I'd still like to talk every now and then and see how your doing." I didn't respond to this, and then said "Well have a good summer, and good luck with your new boyfriend." I then walked away.

I plan on ignoring every type of text or call from her this summer, because quite frankly its her loss. I made some mistakes but I know who the real me is. She does too and seemed surprised by my sudden burst of confidence. How did I do?

[liz28]

You did good! Just stick to your guns by not having any forms of communication with her.

[master88]

Honestly I feel so much better after doing this. I feel like I have a new lease on life.

[master88]

So what do I do if she calls me. Ignore every time? Or answer and act all busy.

[Romefalls19]

Stick to your guns, use the NC as a tool to get your life back together

[talaniman]

So what do I do if she calls me. Ignore every time? Or answer and act all busy.

I plan on ignoring every type of text or call from her this summer, because quite frankly its her loss. I made some mistakes but I know who the real me is. She does too and seemed surprised by my sudden burst of confidence. How did I do?

How about sticking to your word for a change. :rolleyes:

[Gemini54]

So what do i do if she calls me. Ignore everytime? Or answer and act all busy.

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

[none12345]

So what do i do if she calls me. Ignore everytime? Or answer and act all busy.

From this comment is it safe to assume you are secretly trying to get her back?

If its just a honest question, stick to NC. Its called NO CONTACT for a reason. Ignore them.