[nabelaaa]

Hey there, experts & awesome readers!

Basically, I'm going to ask the question that girls ask at least once in their lifetime,
How do you know if you're really "just friends"?

I have a guy friend. He is fanfreakingtastic and definitely someone that I respect, admire, and have a major crush on! (:

So, let's begin!

The guy:

The All-American boy; conservative Christian boy that lives on a farm and believes that chivalry is alive and kicking. He is all about politics and is so worldly and wise that it can fascinate a 60 year old man that has 3875636623 stories under his belt.

He's dating someone. He's been dating her for a while now. Before you begin the eye-rolling and sighing, let me explain! They've been dating for a while, however, they don't see each other often. He casually calls her a few times a week. It's very casual and convenient. They've been on-again-off-again for a while and the main reason that he is still with her is based on convenience and routine.

Our relationship: It's certain that we are best friends. He calls me or texts me every night. He spends more time talking or hanging with me than he does with his girlfriend. He tells me that I'm fascinating, incredible, inspiring, this & that. I try to brush it off because I know that it is incredibly disrespectful to pursue a guy in a relationship. Besides, I try to tell myself that he is just my best friend and he is just complimenting me.

But then, things got even more intense. We live in a small town. To get from one place to another typically takes a few minutes. One day, I was stressed about my bridesmaids dress and he went and picked it up for me and delivered it to me! He drove almost an hour to get it and almost an hour to deliver it to me. While I was gone for my brother's wedding for an entire week, he called me almost every night and was on the phone with me for hours. We put each other very high on our priority list. So, it's weird because it's kind of like an unspoken obligation to each other.

I mean, when he's working at his job, I'll swing by to bring him an energy drink or something to keep him up for his shift. When I'm working at my job, he'll swing by to bring me lunch.

For the fall semester, he made his schedule so that him and I had two classes together. We do so much together already, I didn't think he would want to see that much of me already. When I talk about other guys, he will always bring them up and kind of jokingly inquire about them. Maybe, I'm one of those psychos that over-analyze every word hoping to find a gesture that can symbolize interest. This is why I need YOU to set the record straight.

Review:
1) He calls me consistently.
2) Tries to hang out as much as he can.
3) Tells me that "Nabela, I show you that I care about you and think about you more than I do for my girlfriend."
4) He goes out of his way for me; in various ways.
5) He praises me like I'm Mother Teresa.
6) He respects me a whole lot and talks to his friends about me.

Butttt,
1) He's in a deteriorating relationship with his girlfriend. They argue so much and it looks like it's going downhill and I'm saying that as unbiased as possible.
2) Maybe he is just realllly being my good friend and doesn't see this as misleading./
3) He has plenty of friends that are girls. HOWEVER, he doesn't give them as much attention, care, or effort as he does for me.

Just, basically, tell me whether I'm an idiot?
(: thanks for reading my book! <3

[simoneaugie]

Well written book. And he definitely sounds like a good friend.

No, you're not an idiot.

You have to tell him what you see. What does he want? If you don't ask him/tell him you will continue to stew and wonder. If the two of you do talk about it, the worst that can happen is that you will be closer.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Seems that there is deep care there for sure. But is it love? I don't know. It could be. Ask him. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel!

[talaniman]

I think your looking at things through rose colored glasses, as for all the attention, he still has a g/f.

That's a big telling fact. If I where you, I sure wouldn't say anything while he is in a relationship, no matter how you think its deteriorated, nor have any high hopes, or unrealistic expectations, unless his feelings become more concrete, and clear.

Just because you have a crush, and he is more available to you as she is, that doesn't mean there is more than just a friendship going on, so don't let yourself get to carried away by your intense feelings.

[spitvenom]

I had a best friend like this. We would do everything together family dinners, holidays, movies, etc... She even went and picked up a birthday gift for a girl I was dating. I would blow off my girlfriend she would blow off her boyfriend and we would just sit in the house and watch TV. Then after about 7 years I guess we couldn't hide/deny our feelings for each other so we started to date. 5 years after that we are now married. So I say go for it.

[Zahed]

No,I don't think so

[nabelaaa]

Yes, I know the fact that he has a girlfriend is a big telling fact.
I guess my more specific yet vague question is, what do I do now?

[N0help4u]

You need to accept your role as just a friend for now while he has a girlfriend. Trying for anything more can push him away. He has enough to deal with where his relationship with his girlfriend is going. He needs support not complications.

[nabelaaa]

He has enough to deal with with where his relationship with his gf is going. He needs support not complications.

I realllly appreciate that piece of advice. I really am being kind of selfish. I shouldn't sit around trying to analyze him & I. Instead, I should really just let things flow. If they break up, him & I become even more close, and a potential relationship becomes more apparent, then there will be something to talk about.