[ordinaryguy]

Another thing is, if, after a thread has been started and developed, it's unfair to the others who have participated on the thread, if information is shared privately. It leaves the others who have participated in confusion because of not knowing what information has been exchanged.

For anyone who's interested in the astrological angle, there are discussions of it here and here.

[Meow420]

OK so this is an update for all of those that have been follow my threads.

I went and saw the counsellor/therapist on Tuesday. It was awesome.
It opened up a whole different issues I need to deal with lol but the amount of self acceptance I am feeling is fantastic.

So here are a few things that he spoke to me about, and basically how it all ties into my threads.

After many questions and probing into my brain, the therapist said that My line of work has not played with my head. He said I am a very rational, level headed 30yr old. He could see why I was questioning whether it is right or wrong to be a sex worker and came up with the conclusion that yes a lot of people think it is a bad thing, that is just their opinions. It is not effecting me in a negative way at all.

After our talk he could see my need and love of helping people and he suggested even starting up a group for couples/singles on how to keep sexual relationships healthy.

When I discussed my partner, who is a married man, he basically told me that, that type of relationship is all based on (again) your own belief systems. It might not be something people agree with but at the end of the day, its all about what works for each individual. And as for right now, its working for me quite well.

I told my partner about seeing a therapist. He straight away was very concerned that he was causing me grief, but I assured him, it isn't him, it was just my own head accepting the situation.

The therapist did not want to discuss my partner for long at all. He said that from what he can see, it's a casual relationship that is discreet and for now, bringing joy to my life.

Now, this is where it got interesting. I brought up my sex addiction. After more probing, he came to the conclusion, that I am not adicted to sex, but that I may have an issue with power. Needing power over men. And sex apparently is my tool.

After many questions about my dad, the therapist is very keen to do regressive therapy and hypnosis. I am not too sure on this idea. He says that the most pivotal things in our life, happen before we are 5yrs old. He thinks that something has happened to me when I was young. Could be something small. Could be something bad.

I personally don't want to go probing into that I have blocked out for whatever reason. If I found out my dad molested me, I will seriously kill him. Without even a thought.

Also he said I have unnatural tendacies to protect my loved ones. I don't understand that. I will die for my family. We have been through tough times and Im sure most people are the same. But apparently my need to keep my family safe is abnormal.

So yeah that's pretty much it. It was only one session though, Im going back next week.

It made me realise that, OK, I may be a sex addicted, prostitute that is dating a married man, and that may be something the majority of people in society would not agree with... but that's OK! Its fine! As long as I can look in the mirror every morning and like who I am, be proud of all that Ive accomplished, love my family, make them proud... as long as my family love me then I really don't give a toss what the rest of the world thinks :)

Ok so that's the basics I guess.. Ive been walking around with my head a little higher I must admit lol.

I want to thank all of those who left comments, whether they were helpful or not. I love that this site is an open space for us all to voice all of our different and unique opinions.

When reading peoples questions, don't judge their actions... at the end of the day, they are here for an answer.. lets help people, not put them down x x x x x

[KamGupta]

As a psychotherapist and counselor, I have always found that a preference to see a counselor of a particular gender is a very useful source of understanding. Although we all prefer to feel 'comfortable', it is the feeling of discomfort that can be the most revealing. The expectation of, for example, being judged by a man, may be a real window into the kind of hidden assumptions that you may carry into relationships.

It can therefore be more effective to see a counselor of the gender you find less comfortable. The one proviso is that it may take patience and some courage before you can allow yourself to say what you are truly feeling, particularly towards your therapist. By speaking of your fears and discomfort, your anxieties will be right there, alive in the room, and although this will probably be uncomfortable, it is also the fastest was to get to the underlying issues.

For a more detailed answer to the question, there is an article on my journal:
http://www.londonpsychotherapycounselling.co.uk/journal.html

[KamGupta]

Sorry - hadn't worked out how to use the link function.
Here's the link I mentioned in my previous post.