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Martica14 · May 28, 2009, 04:39 PM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and we are a caring, loving, and honest couple. However, we have never been able to have sex! He always get nervous and needs to drink water or etc. We have tried a million times and the same thing happens. What worst is that two days ago when we tried and couldn't he told me that he was less attracted to me because I have gained some weight. This really hurt me and I fell under a depression. He didn't leave me alone and was after me at all times. When I told him that he broke my heart he started to cry desperately and told me to forgive him. He said that he didn't mean those words like that and that he is crazy for me. He has been like this for the past few days and told me that he is willing to go to a doctor with me if I go back with him. What should I do?

Lonenexis · May 28, 2009, 04:55 PM

Has he had sex before? He may have had a bad experience and is blaming it on your "weight gain". It may just be his self-esteem. He should have never told you that you have gained weight as it doesn't do anything good for either of you. You need to figure out specifically why he has never been able to have sex with you. Look him dead in the eye and ask him to be completely honest with you. If it literally is your weight, then that is a different story, but you said it's been 3 years, so I doubt it's that. Personally it's probably not you. It's definitely something that he is either ashamed of performing bad, or some other weird reason. Have a good, heart to heart talk. I wish you the best

-Taylor

Fr_Chuck · May 28, 2009, 04:57 PM

How old are you, this sounds more like a 13 year old.

Assuming you are adults, he said bad things because he could not perform and was making excuses not to be at fault

talaniman · May 28, 2009, 05:44 PM

and told me that he is willing to go to a doctor with me if I go back with him. What should I do?

Go to the doctor with him.

zippit · May 28, 2009, 05:54 PM

I like the way you posted URGENT SEX HELP
This guy is making up for his own inadequacies,I hope when you'r talking about goint to the doctor its for him lol. I'm with fr. Chuck sounds very imature regardless what age you are.

liz28 · May 28, 2009, 07:17 PM

I think he lied to you when he said it was your fault and the put down was unnecessary but I think it was out of frustration or anger. But that doesn't make it right.

I believe this problem is due to a medical condition and the doctor would be able to pinpoint exactly what it is. Go with him and make sure he goes. Make an appointment asap.

chuff · May 28, 2009, 08:07 PM

I'm curious why this is URGENT if it's been going on for 3 years? I'm also curious why you would stay with him for 3 years if you wanted sex... besides the I love him line. I'm also curious why you would listen to a guy that called you fat when he's got problems that a go deeper then an ice cream sandwich or two? I have so many questions.

Assuming this question is real, was this guy molested as a child? I'm thinking that he may have been and is afraid to admit but wants help, but doesn't feel strong enough to seek it by himself so he asked that you go with him. So go with him.