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Lovelygirl088 · May 27, 2009, 01:02 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and having been living together for 1. We have talked about getting married before and he says he would love to be my husband. When I tell him I want to get married he asks me " What brought this up? " I also have asked him why don't we get married and he says because we aren't engaged and he doesn't have a ring to propose. I'll tell him why don't you save up for a ring and his excuse is he can't afford it. I don't care how much the ring costs. I want to marry the man I love! Does he not want to marry me?

Scleros · May 27, 2009, 01:37 AM

Originally Posted by Lovelygirl088

Does he not want to marry me?

Even if he does now, he may not if you persist in your persistence. Incessant nagging is a major turnoff. If his timetable is unsuitable to you, quit wasting both your times and find someone who shares your life plan and schedule. But know that three years is a short amount of time.

I wish · May 27, 2009, 05:57 AM

I know you really love this guy, but if he doesn't share your feelings, then it's going to be a difficult relationship. Almost a one-way relationship.

You've got two choices:

1) Be patient, stop putting pressure on him. He already knows that you want to get married. So if he really loved you back, he will propose when he's ready.

2) Break up with him, because you have no idea when he is going to propose and the waiting game is just not your style.

Eiher way, contant nagging is just going to push him anyway and you might never get that proposal from him.

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2009, 07:05 AM

He does not because he does not really want to, Rings are not even required ( at least in the US)

And you don't have to be "engaged" you can go get a marriage license and be married in a day or two in any US state and the same day in most.

This may not be a issue but in many cases, you are already living together, so what is his motivation to get married, he gets nothing out of it.
Him sleeping on the couch till there is a ring on the finger, I bet he could afford a ring real quick

N0help4u · May 27, 2009, 07:17 AM

You can use a ring out of a bubblegum machine. He is just making excuses. He knows how much it means to you to get married but for whatever reasons the idea is not something he shares with you so he is using the ring as a procrastionation excuse.

Justwantfair · May 27, 2009, 07:22 AM

Do you want to beg or force someone to marry you?

Give him the time, he isn't ready. Decide if you are willing to give up the relationship because you are ready. If you aren't willing to give up the relationship over this issue, then accept your circumstances as they are and don't work so hard on pushing. You love a person for who they are and that includes everything about them so if he isn't ready, you have to be ready to accept that.