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    lhrigor's Avatar
    lhrigor Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 26, 2009, 11:31 PM
    My husbands' seven years secret
    My husband and I have been married for more than seven yrs.he is a good husband and a father to our three children, I almost think that he is perfect until I found out just recently that he has a daughter from another woman before our marriage.its so hard for me... I feel betrayed and I don't know what to do.please help me.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #2

    May 27, 2009, 12:58 AM
    The first thing that I would ask is - why does this change things?

    You love him and he's seemingly perfect - why does this have to change?

    He has chosen not to tell you about his daughter - born before you were married. This was his choice and not necessarily a betrayal of you or your marriage. He may have many reasons, even good ones, for having acted this way.

    In a perfect world, our partners would tell us everything and never do anything to hurt us. Sadly, it's an imperfect world and we are all only human.

    Speak to him. If it's a good marriage then you should be able to have a conversation about this. Find out why he didn't tell you. Try and listen to him without thinking of your own hurt. Try and forgive him and move on.

    Remember that you love him and he's only human.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    May 27, 2009, 06:00 AM

    Well, everyone has secrets from the past. You can't expect to know everything about your husband's past. There must be a reason that he didn't tell you. I suggest that you talk it out with him. Let him know that you didn't not appreciate him hiding such a huge secret, but you really want to know his reasons. Maybe after his explanation, you will understand.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #4

    May 27, 2009, 06:50 AM

    Lets see - your husband has a past that originated before you were together and doesn't affect you...

    What is there to get over? What is confusing? Bet you had a history before you and he got together too. Its none of his business like this is none of yours.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    May 27, 2009, 06:54 AM

    As long as he has been faithful to you for the past seven years why make waves and ruin something good?

    I know many women that have left a good marriage only to find out the grass was worse on the other side.

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