[MKneedsadvice]

I work in a small office of 8, and we are pretty close-knit. My boss's daughter is graduating this year, and so is my son. My boss is not inviting me or any of the other women to his daughter's graduation party - - only the other 2 attorneys in the office. What is the appropriate thing to do, should I send his daughter a card in the mail? I have worked for this man for 12 years, and I really don't know how to feel or what to do!

Also, the other women and I have always invited the entire office to weddings, graduations, etc. of our children, including the 3 guys. Now that my boss has made it clear that he does not want to invite "the staff" to his daughter's party, do I continue to invite him to my son's graduation open house?

[JudyKayTee]

I would send a card if you would like to congratulate his daughter. I don't see a connection between the card and being invited to the party.

For whatever reason maybe he is limiting the number of guests to the party, maybe he no longer wants to socially mingle with "staff," who knows. If you would like him to attend a graduation open house, by all means invite him. If you don't want him there, then don't invite him.

My concern with many of these things is that they are simply a request for a gift. Those "announcement" cards are something I never know quite how to handle.

[dontknownuthin]

I would only invite those colleagues who are also close friends outside of the office.

It is not customary to invite colleagues to this type of event. It can appear to be fishing for a gift. Times are tough, and people may resent it.

If some of the people in the office have become particularly close friends, sure - invite them. But by no means are you obligated to invite everyone.

As for your boss, I'd follow his lead.