[Mishel]

My boyfriend (not the father) has decided to go to school in Norman, Oklahoma where his sister resides with her five year old and her husband. We are currently living in Dallas, TX. This is only a three hour drive. The issue is that my son's father is very involved and takes his son every weekend and pays non court ordered support to me. He is a good father and we get along very well. However, my boyfriend now has had a very hard time finding a job here and has decided to further his education in order to make a better life for us. I have visited OK, and found it to be peaceful and very suitable for my five year old. It seems quite safe and he will be able to attend a great school where my boyfriend's nephew goes. I am not trilled with DISD and am looking for a much safer environment for my son. We haven't been to court for any of our arrangements in the past and things have been really mild mannered between us, and I just don't want to mess that up. I have no family here in TX, and other than my child's father, no ties here at all. I am open to a change for the better. I need to know how to go about this in the most mild mannered way possible. I do plan on discussing everything with the father, so there will be no surprises. It isn't that far away and would be willing to even meet him half way for visitation, or perhaps keep my son through the school year and let him go with his father for the summer. I guess this is something we will be discussing but I just wonder if there's anyway it could happen that I could possibly loose custody all together. I could not live without my son, and I have no intention of doing that to his father either. Can this be handled without getting the courts involved, or do I need to go that route just to ensure that it is handled correctly. I don't want anyone claiming kidnapping or that I'm trying to take him away from his father.

[cadillac59]

You sound like a good parent and generally nice person.

Probably to do it right you should put together a stipulation for custody, visitation and support, file a case in court to establish paternity and have orders issued on the stipulation. With a little effort (and maybe the help of a mediator) you could probably reach an agreement with the dad on all the issues.

[cdad]

Why not just stay where you are and tell the controlling boyfriend to either get real find something closer. With what you have said I only see a lot of trouble headed your way if you try to move. There is no reason a court would grant you to have him meet you half way when you are the parent that's doing the moving. You should incur the cost and drive the entire way to meet the visitation. Why do you want to disrupt your child at this important time when starting school and making new goals. I applaud you for what you have done already but don't screw it up now because your luckier then most at this time. Him having the child on weekends would be a major disruption. Why ? Because your boyfriend wants it. You haven't stated anything showing your desire to move other then him wanting to go to school.

[cadillac59]

Why not just stay where you are and tell the controlling boyfriend to either get real find something closer. With what you have said I only see alot of trouble headed your way if you try to move. There is no reason a court would grant you to have him meet you half way when you are the parent thats doing the moving. You should incur the cost and drive the entire way to meet the visitation. Why do you want to disrupt your child at this important time when starting school and making new goals. I applaud you for what you have done already but dont screw it up now because your luckier then most at this time. Him having the child on weekends would be a major disruption. Why ? Because your boyfriend wants it. You havent stated anything showing your desire to move other then him wanting to go to school.

I was in court just last Friday and the issue came up of sharing travel costs between a mom who moved to Washington and the dad who stayed in California. Two years ago the mom took off with the kid and moved to Washington without notice to the dad and without permission; I filed an ex parte for the dad, got an order giving him custody and for return of the child and I had to have the DA's Child abduction Unit find the mom (the whole thing took about a week). My client (dad) has had custody the last two years- the mom has summers and holidays but she wants the dad to share the transportation costs for her visits. I told the judge she should bear the costs alone since she abducted the kid and put the distance between them and he sent them back to mediation to mediate who should share the costs! So, that issue is not always such a slam-dunk.