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    hoping4best130's Avatar
    hoping4best130 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 21, 2009, 11:16 PM
    Am drifting away from Islam
    Aslam-O-Alakum

    I feel like I need serious counseling. To cut long story short I have been married for 2 years now and still donot have any babies. Am becoming paranoid due to this.

    Went to the doctor and both me and my husband have problems, doctors are asking to go for IVF.

    I have started to lash at ever one. Am angry at my dad and hate him in my heart for not marrying me off at right time. I was engaged for four years and when ever they asked for marriage my father said he had no money, though he send my younger brother abrod for studies, had two cars and we lived in a house worth crore of rupees. Now my age has become a factor as well.

    I get angry at my mom for not even saving a penny for my marriage I had to work in an office and work a lot to buy things for myself and for my marriage. After Between I also gave away a lot of money to my father when ever he asked for it and have never asked it back.

    Now my husband canot afford the fertility treatment and again I had to move to another city take up a job and collect money for our treatment. He visits me for few days in a month. Although he says he has some money which we can use but we both know its not sufficient. My father knows all this but has never offered to give a single cent and braging about buying land and how well his business is going.

    Now doctors have told me to go for IUI or IVF and I canot decide which way to go, I did IStikhara but saw no dream no indication nothing. I feel so very very angry at God and tell Him I hate him.

    I cry all the time, I love my parents and when I misbehave with them I feel bad, I know God is nice but He is disappointing me every time. I feel my heart is dead, I just recite Salat my heart is not into it even when I try. Am too depressed.

    Donot know what to do.
    adnan baloch's Avatar
    adnan baloch Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    May 22, 2009, 06:09 AM
    Salaaam alaikum!
    Well I know that you are sad of not havimng babies and our society also blames that ov not having babies after 2 years of marriage. I know that you are depressed and feel yourself weak enough to tackle the problems you have.
    GOD has made humans very weak so that they can't be proud on themselves of being strong!
    If you ask a person to lift his leg he will lift it but if you ask him to liftthe other 1 also he cant,he tries to jump but falls again in a fraction of a sec
    U cannot blame a religion or a community or a society bcoz of a person or family
    It's the fault osf your parents that they did not saved money for you instead of saving money for your brother for his studies.u must keep patience everything will be all right and earn halaal for your prayers to be accepteed by GOD because its an hadith that the person who earns by unfair means(haraam) his prayers will not be accepted.
    A short story for you
    A tree with tasty fruits will be harmed by animal,birds and humans by eating its fruits,destroying its leaves,branches.
    And a tree without fruits will not be harmed so that it has nothing 4 others except pain.
    There are many difficulties in the life of a person who is very nice,sweet,caring and good you keep your patience GOD will do everything all right.
    May ALLAH bless you with his medications.ameen
    adnan baloch's Avatar
    adnan baloch Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    May 22, 2009, 06:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by adnan baloch View Post
    salaaam alaikum!!
    well i know dat u r sad of not havimng babies and our society also blames dat ov not havin babies after 2 years of marriage. i knw dat u r depressed and feel urself weak enough to tackle the problems u have.
    GOD has made humans very weak so dat they can't b proud on themself of bein strong!
    if u ask a person to lift his leg he will lift it but if u ask him to liftthe other 1 also he cant,he tries to jump but falls agin in a fraction of a sec
    u cannot blame a religion or a community or a society bcoz of a person or family
    its the fault osf ur parents dat they did not saved money for u instead of saving money for ur brother for his studies.u must keep patience everything will b alright adn earn halaal for ur prayers to b accepteed by GOD coz its an hadith dat the person who earns by unfair means(haraam) his prayers will not b accepted.
    a short story 4 u
    a tree with tasty fruits will b harmed by animal,birds and humans by eating its fruits,destroying its leaves,branches.
    and a tree without fruits will not b harmed so dat it has nothing 4 others except pain.
    there are many difficulties in the life of a person who is very nice,sweet,caring and good u keep ur patience GOD will do everything alright.
    may ALLAH bless u with his medications.ameen
    ..
    havaluk's Avatar
    havaluk Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    May 22, 2009, 07:47 PM

    Wa alaykum assalam,

    Sister, did You ever think about the possibility of this being a test in Your steadfastness and patience?
    Or, could it be that there is a blessing in not having a child now, even if the reasons are unknown to us? Like You could get sick or die -God forbid- as a consequence of a pregnancy? Or other factors in Your life, that would have made motherhood difficult on You?
    What I want to say is: We never know! ALLAH is the one who knows, why things are better for us this way.
    Put Your trust in ALLAH and in Your prayers, don't get angry or give up, as You will be rewarded for all that You suffer unjustly, in sha ALLAH. Read Quran and try to pray qiyyam prayer/night prayers, anything that helps Your spiritual health and brings You closer to ALLAH.

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