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Depressed in MO · Oct 5, 2006, 11:50 AM

Hey WC-what about Men Tests?? ;)

J_9 · Oct 5, 2006, 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Sorry Pathfiner - one day you will get it. You're wrong - women do want to be put in their place. They want a man -0 not a doormet. They need to be told they are acting crabby or what ever.

Women do a lot of crap to see how much they can get away from you. Believe me. You let this woman walk all over you.

The women here may not like thsi - but they know I am right - men need to take the and put women in their place sometimes - women act up out emotions. They TEST you. You have FAILED everyone of her tests.

You need to learn about women's TESTS - they WILL test you all day long if you let them.

This woman of yours has gotten away with so much she doesn't respect you and takes you for granted.

Put someone in ther place means they don't walk all over you - you have a lofe and don't need them in your life.

Sorry, Wildcat, I have to disagree with you this time. I better never be "put in my place." Nor do I "want" it. A man who does this is WAY too controlling for my tastes. I had parents, they were the ones responsible for putting me in my place when I was acting up. My husband should never "put me in my place" and if he does you can be sure he is in a world of hurt.

Relationships are a two way street. This means that men must want to be put in their place too.

I am also curious about the tests, as I never test anyone, except my children when helping them study.

Women can be told they are acting crabby, but we should be able to tell our men when they are acting crabby too. Again a relationship is a two-way street. If a relationship is a one-way street then someone is too much of a control freak and the relatioship is not healthy.

Sorry I had to disagree with you this time, but it hit a nerve with me. As I will never be controlled or manipulated in this manner. If he does, he is out of here!!

mob90019 · Oct 5, 2006, 12:11 PM

Thank you, Pathfinder for responding to that "put her in her place" remark in such a kind, thoughtful and respectful manner. You sound like a gem. I'm guessing, based on your replies, that she, for her all her terrible past experiences, feels that she is not good enough for you. And that's only scratching the surface of her insecurities. She needs therapy, support, kindness and understanding. She is probably aware that you are more emotionally available than she and this too makes her feel inadequate. There's a good chance she thinks she's fat and ugly when she's sober, but not when she's drunk. There are many layers here. Help her uncover them. But she has to be willing. If she's not willing, then you're fighting a losing battle. If you think there's hope, than fight for it. But I don't recommend you do this alone-- therapy will give you both a chance to talk about things you're not willing to talk about in "real life."
I'm just sayin'...

Wildcat21 · Oct 5, 2006, 01:08 PM

You know what I mean J9 -

Ever women tests - you test to see what kind of guy he is. To see what you can get away with. To see if you ca nwalk all over him - no woman wants a push over. You test to see if he has a spine.

Tests, for the most part, are NOT done on purpose - it's automatic. You need to know if the guy has a spine. Tests to see if he is a good guy. Tests to see what a LTR possibility he is.

Test are NOT things a woman does wit ha plan. A women does not go on a date and makes sure to 'test' the guy.

Anyone who disagrees with me really does not know what is really going on.

This women walked all over this gu ybecause she new she could - how did she know? She's tested him.

You guys think 'tests' are conscious - nope - most are subconcious.

Wildcat21 · Oct 5, 2006, 01:08 PM

Punch this into to Google and you may get a better idea of Women's Tests:

"women's tests for men"

Wildcat21 · Oct 5, 2006, 01:10 PM

I know what I am talking about. This stuff happens.

NeedKarma · Oct 5, 2006, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Anyone who disagrees with me really does not know what is really going on.

I do have a problem with that statement though. What exactly are your credentials for being a Relationship Expert?

Wildcat21 · Oct 5, 2006, 03:22 PM

Why don't you start doing some research and stop questioning everything. You might actually learn something.

J_9 · Oct 5, 2006, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Sorry Pathfiner - one day you will get it. You're wrong - women do want to be put in their place. They want a man -0 not a doormet. They need to be told they are acting crabby or what ever.

Okay, I will go with you on the tests. Men do it too.

However, women do NOT want to be put in their place. Again, this sounds manipulative and controlling. Maybe you meant it different, but this is how it sounds.

If a man ever tries to put me in my place, I will put him right back in his. The only person who controls me is me. No one else.

Yes, we want a man, not a doormat, but we don't want a bullying control freak either.

NeedKarma · Oct 5, 2006, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Why don't you start doing some research and stop questioning everything. You might actually learn something.

Well done on editing your previous post. My research has been done with 25+ years of dating then marriage then being a father. I also work in an area that's 80% women and loving it. See I actually like women. I'm concerned about the way you portray them at times. I'll never stop questioning stuff - I'm not a doormat who accepts what people say as the final word (see how I tied everything in together?) :). I learn new stuff every day; but I certainly don't spout out arrogant statements like you just did. Anyone who knows anyhting about relationships knows that they are as indiviudal as the people involved in them. If you are the expert then what are your credentials that back that up? I only ask because other experts here have a link to their credentials.

NeedKarma · Oct 6, 2006, 12:45 PM

Well not only do you not respond to this thread but you took the opportunity to recently bump one of your 0 reply threads of "rules" to further emphasive these 'tests'. Can you give us some examples of these?

My biggest concern is that I've noticed that a lot of teenagers ask questions here and I'm worried about nthe impression they are going to get about women after reading some of these posts. A teen boy could believe that women are devious animals and get frightened to even approach tem for fear of failing 'test' - this would be a terrible start to building a history of healthy relationships.

You seem to have a real us versus them mentality in your views of men and women, almost bordering on misogynistic. People are individuals, not a set of clones that share the same traits. Add to that the variety of cultures that show up here and their views towards the independent woman versus the traditional roles of women.

You response that "you know what you are talking about" needs a little clarifying: WHY do you know what you are talking about? How old are you? What degrees do you have? Travelled much? Married?

s_cianci · Oct 6, 2006, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

You know what I mean J9 -

Ever women tests - you test to see what kind of guy he is. To see what you can get away with. To see if you ca nwalk all over him - no woman wants a push over. You test to see if he has a spine.

Tests, for the most part, are NOT done on purpose - it's automatic. You need to know if the guy has a spine. Tests to see if he is a good guy. Tests to see what a LTR possibility he is.

Test are NOT things a woman does wit ha plan. A women does not go on a date and makes sure to 'test' the guy.

Anyone who disagrees with me really does not know what is really going on.

This women walked all over this gu ybecause she new she could - how did she know? She's tested him.

You guys think 'tests' are concious - nope - most are subconcious.

Yes, this hits it right on the head. Women and men everywhere, take note!

LUNAGODDESS · Oct 6, 2006, 03:43 PM

It's good sign that she is a party girl, a drunk, a loose woman... that is truly not looking for a relationship... but a feel better moment... she does spell trouble move with caution... talk to her before the drinking... she would let you know that she is interested in sex with you or not...

talaniman · Oct 10, 2006, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by pathfinder616

Why do some women only want to have sex when they are drunk? If this is the only time a woman wants to have sex with you when she is in this condition, is this a good sign that your relationship is over?

All women are not that way but if you have one that is, she needs therapy not sex. Its up to you to decide if you want a relationship or not and obviously your taking the sex but then you must accept the consequences of being with a person who needs help.

Wildcat21 · Oct 10, 2006, 12:04 PM

Women will test. The only people who disagree with me just have never heard or studied the concept. This is a learning process for them.

Guys need to laugh at test and lern about them and how to handle them. SOme guys do it naturally.

It just a part of nature. It's how women try and select the right guy. Right or wrong.

Many, many great articles about hos women test on the interent.

talaniman · Oct 10, 2006, 10:33 PM

You response that "you know what you are talking about" needs a little clarifying: WHY do you know what you are talking about? How old are you? What degrees do you have? Travelled much? Married?

You may not agree with the post, but I for one know he has given a lot of good advice, and though he doesn't have a web page, if you go back and look at his advice and the reactions and positive feedback, I would think a personal attack here was not warranted, or legal.

NeedKarma · Oct 11, 2006, 02:45 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You may not agree with the post, but I for one know he has given a lot of good advice, and though he doesn't have a web page, if you go back and look at his advice and the reactions and positive feedback, I would think a personal attack here was not warranted, or legal.

Not legal?? Explain that.

Personal attack? Nah, I was simply asking for credentials. I offered my info. Had you read my post you'd understand why. Did you miss his arrogant statement that he edited?

starryeyed · Oct 11, 2006, 09:34 AM

Tests...
As if guys don't push to see how far they can go, and how early on...
And as if that doesn't incur some sort of judgment...
As if every single interaction with someone while you're dating isn't about setting boundaries or 'testing' compatibility - or this real person with an imagined perfect partner.
Well - I'm with J9 on this one...
The issue isn't about tests - it's about this idea that you have to "put somone in their place" to pass - you need to show strength, sure - but that's something different than machoism...

LUNAGODDESS · Oct 11, 2006, 10:52 AM

Young boys or young men will understand that selecting a mate... will take time and if they desire companionship they will have to work at the relationship... to receive some desired results... women like men have needs and will go about collecting their needs by what ever effort is necessary... what some are saying is that women and men that get drunk and have sex with out considering if a relationship will developed out this commitment... are making a bad choice... this is now the age and the world of diseases with no cure... and they who commit to the act of sex... should take better care of their bodies... when desiring a partnere for sex... abuse of any substance will inhibit the ability to make logical decisions... a drunk that is free with their body is not the type of person - that anyone needs to explore the adventure in sex and with sex... if this topic scares any young person then they are not ready for adult communication and should go watch Sesame Street or Sponge Bob... and email them about how important the issues they addressed on their televison show... effected their lives and relationships with the same or opposite sex... give these young people a break... some have more common sense then some...
:cool:

hola123 · Oct 13, 2006, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by pathfinder616

Why do some women only want to have sex when they are drunk? If this is the only time a woman wants to have sex with you when she is in this condition, is this a good sign that your relationship is over?

Hi, I had the same problem... Of course she might be bored on the way you are doing it, maybe you are doing it for you only. Don't think of having sex, but making love. Try to settle down a good mood, then communicate... ask her to make love and propose things for her... be different and let go your imagination