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ScottGem · May 20, 2009, 06:26 AM

Below is a book review that appeared in today's Newsday in the Kidsday section. This appears so wrong on so many levels, I'm left just scratching my head that this could be published in a major newspaper.

The first thing is having a 9 year old write a book on this subject. And having someone publish it yet! Then there is the concept of "if you get a girl, that's called a victory"! Never mind how "getting" a girl is defined is this a message we want to send out to preteens!!

Frankly, I have to wonder at the adults that went along with this!

Anyone want to comment?

Book Review: 'How to talk to girls'
By BM
Kidsday Reporter

"How to Talk to Girls" by 9-year old Alec Greven is a great book ($9.99, HarperCollins). It is very good for boys, and I can give you some tips, even though I'm not the author.
If every time I say something, a girl laughs, that's a sign she likes me.
There is good advice for boys that I think is helpful. If you want a girl's attention, don't show off too much or she will dump you. Don't act goofy and silly. Control your "hipness." For a boy, a crush is like a love disease. To impress a girl, get her flowers or sweets or give her a compliment like, "I like your shoes" or "nice shirt."
If you get a girl, that's called a vistory, but don't cheer in front of her or she will dump you. Just excuse yourself and then cheer in private.
You also have to be clean because your mom likes clean boys, and she's a female.
So, remember don't ever be silly, act goofy and all that. Do the opposite of bad, and everybody knows it's good.
Good Luck!

h_leann_b · May 20, 2009, 06:56 AM

Omg wow. "Excuse yourself and cheer in private"

What's with the obsession of such YOUNG children wanting relationships? Whatever happened to boys thinking girls had cooties until age 15? I can't help but feel that the earlier a child gets in a relationship, the earlier they end up having sex.

kay8905 · May 20, 2009, 07:27 AM

Hu hum okay. My brothers 15 and would never read that! Why would they won't a relationship like that so young? all it leads to is more teen prgnances.

Alty · May 20, 2009, 08:14 AM

What could a 9 year old possibly know or want to know about getting a girl?

This is wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin.

No wonder we have 11 year olds coming to this site asking about dating advice.

I can tell you right now, my kids will not get their hands on that book. When it comes time for dating advice they'll get it from a reliable source, ME!

Too bad they'll both me in boarding school until they're 25. ;)

ScottGem · May 20, 2009, 08:41 AM

I wrote a letter to the editors of Newsday decrying their publishing this review.

I'm thinking of writing to the publisher complaining about their publication of this book.

One of the major problems that we face is the loss of childhood. Kids are being asked (forced?) to grow up way too fast these days. A book like this may seem cute to some people, but to me it just exacerbates the problem.

nikosmom · May 20, 2009, 08:50 AM

We do have a lot of 11-14 year olds coming here for dating advice and it just boggles my mind. Even though I started getting interested in boys around 14, dating was not even an option on the table!

Kids these days are so polluted by movies and videos that they think they should be able to do the same things and they just don't get that they're KIDS!

I don't get why a 9 year old thinks he's in a position to dole out dating advice. Tell me, once he gets the girl, what's he supposed to do with her?

Alty · May 20, 2009, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I wrote a letter to the editors of Newsday decrying their publishing this review.

I'm thinking of writing to the publisher complaining about their publication of this book.

One of the major problems that we face is the loss of childhood. Kids are being asked (forced?) to grow up way too fast these days. A book like this may seem cute to some people, but to me it just exacerbates the problem.

Email address, actual address, I'm with you, just need that info and I'll write to them as well.

My son will be 11 in September, thank God he still thinks that girls are icky! No dating until at least 16 and even then it will be group dates only. Yes, I know, hard a$$ mom, but I remember my teen years well, not going to let them fall into the same trap I did.

ScottGem · May 20, 2009, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Tell me, once he gets the girl, what's he supposed to do with her??

He's supposed to excuse himself and go to a private place and cheer for victory! Weren't you paying attention? ;)

But seriously, I'm glad I wasn't being off the wall to be upset by this. I thank goodness, my daughter is almost 25 so way past this stage. But I wonder where Master Greven's parents are that they allowed this to be published or were they just thinking of how to fund his college education?

And I would love to have a discussion with the acquisition editor at HarperCollins about their decision to publish this book. I wonder if my local library will be adding it to their collection. Not if I can help it!

nikosmom · May 20, 2009, 09:03 AM

Touche' Scott. :)

On a serious note though, it does send out the message that these kids should be "looking" and they should only be friends at this age. Because what is he expecting to happen? Do they kiss? Go on a date? How far does this go?

My son will be 2 tomorrow and people are always telling me that he's going to have girls following him around once he goes to school- umm not if I can help it. He will not be allowed to date that early!

spitvenom · May 20, 2009, 09:11 AM

So are kids supposed to buy this book or is the advice for adults?

I was 9 when I had my first "girlfriend" It was a whirlwind affair of us not talking to each other that much because we were both scared. Romantic lunches in the cafeteria of us looking at each other from one end of the table to another. Recess was the best time we would play freeze tag and it was the only time I touched her. Talked on the phone once for a few minutes.

Then school ended and she went to a different school the next year. Now that I think about it we never officially broke up do you think I should tell my wife I have a girlfriend still :p

Alty · May 20, 2009, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by spitvenom

So are kids supposed to buy this book or is the advice for adults?

I was 9 when I had my first "girlfriend" It was a whirlwind affair of us not talking to each other that much because we were both scared. Romantic lunches in the cafeteria of us looking at each other from one end of the table to another. Recess was the best time we would play freeze tag and it was the only time I touched her. Talked on the phone once for a few minutes.

Then school ended and she went to a different school the next year. Now that I think about it we never officially broke up do you think I should tell my wife I have a girlfriend still :p

LMAO! Do not tell her. :eek:

I thought that I had met hubby in a bar at 19, but apparently we were in kindergarten together and we were friends. I think he's the brat that put gum in my hair, but he won't admit it.

ScottGem · May 20, 2009, 09:30 AM

HarperCollins doesn't have a direct e-mail address for complaints like this. The best I could find was a e-mail submission page here:

Harper Collins Children's

I just sent them a note decrying their publication of this book. They ask you to choose a subject anf the closest I could come was "Defective Book".

I did include a link to this thread. It will be interesting if they have someone respond.

Alty · May 20, 2009, 09:32 AM

Oooh, good work Scott. I'd love for them to come here and tell us why.

This just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, it's almost as bad as child ponography because it's exploiting children. At least that's how I see it.

I guess they're pretty desperate for new material right now if they're publishing stuff like this.

Grrr.

nikosmom · May 20, 2009, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by spitvenom

So are kids supposed to buy this book or is the advice for adults?

I was 9 when I had my first "girlfriend" It was a whirlwind affair of us not talking to each other that much because we were both scared. Romantic lunches in the cafeteria of us looking at each other from one end of the table to another. Recess was the best time we would play freeze tag and it was the only time I touched her. Talked on the phone once for a few minutes.

Then school ended and she went to a different school the next year. Now that I think about it we never officially broke up do you think I should tell my wife I have a girlfriend still :p

Awwww this is precious! This is what a "boyfriend/girlfriend" was when I was a kid too. Just somebody you "liked". You were really only friends.

Do you think your wife will go after this other woman who's had your heart all these years? :p

spitvenom · May 20, 2009, 10:27 AM

Na she would laugh at me. My wife knows exactly where my heart is.

Alty · May 20, 2009, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by spitvenom

Na she would laugh at me. My wife knows exactly where my heart is.

On a platter in her fridge. ;)

ScottGem · May 21, 2009, 09:48 AM

I get a form response from HarperCollins that they appreciate my feedback and will forward to the book's editor for review.

nikosmom · May 21, 2009, 10:40 AM

Wow, that's great Scott. Let us know if anything comes of it. I mean, the book's already been published but maybe it'll make a little bit of a difference at least...

earl237 · Jun 11, 2009, 05:14 PM

I am also astonished at the number of kids as young as 10 or even younger asking about dating. I was into baseball and video games at that age and didn't even think about girls until I was well into high school. What is going on?

shazamataz · Jun 13, 2009, 06:04 AM

Wow, I only just found this thread...

What's next? Kama Sutra for 6 year olds :rolleyes: