Check out some similar questions!

matshabalala · May 19, 2009, 12:18 AM

HI

My partner and I have been dating for 4 years now and are planning to get married, but in these four years I have found obviouse signals of him cheating like finding used condoms in his bedroom and condoms in his wallet and work bag, Pictures of girls on his phone as well as sms's to them and I calls them name which he calls me, I get along so very well with his mother and sisters well the whole family to be honest and so is he on my side.

He tells me he loves me and wants to build a future with me, but when he does what he does it really makes me wonder what am I not doing for him that other girls are, and why does he do what he does when I love him so much, I feel so empty right now and he says we should go talk to a pastor for counseling but when we have to go he finds excuses!! His mother is devistated by all this.

WHAT DO I DO!!

ajGambino · May 19, 2009, 01:10 AM

Red flags:

Condoms in his wallet.
Condoms in his work bag.
USED condoms in his bedroom.
Pictures of girls on his phone.
Texts from these girls.
Lies to the pastor when counseling.

Do you really need to think about marrying him? I think you shouldn't put up with this crap, don't you?

He's no good, you shouldn't be with someone like that.

shazamataz · May 19, 2009, 01:53 AM

Wow, you have edone a good job to stay with him for this long.

Get out now before you end up having to split half your stuff when the divorce happens.

Bluerose · May 19, 2009, 03:59 AM

The only answer here is, if you have to ask then the answer is no.

Romefalls19 · May 19, 2009, 05:27 AM

I'd say pack you own bag and find someone who treats you better than this cheating jerk

susangpyp · May 19, 2009, 05:30 AM

Why is this even a question? Love is an action. It is what you do, not what you say. His actions say he does not love you and cannot and will not be faithful.

You get what you put up with. My advice would be to stop putting up with this. There are plenty of people who want to be in a loving, monogamous relationship. He's not one of them.

I wish · May 19, 2009, 09:58 AM

1) You don't even need to guess if he's cheating, there are so many red flags that you can already break up with him based on those flags. Confirming that he cheated is like putting an extra 100 nails in the confin.

2) I can't believe that your relationship even lasted this long. I can't imagine how many things he got away with. He just kept taking advantage of you and taking you for granted.

3) You need to learn confrontation. Didn't he ever give you any explanation for any of that? I can't even think of any acceptable explanation for his behavior.

4) Finally, I'm not even sure I need to say this one... get out of this relationship ASAP.

artlady · May 19, 2009, 10:05 AM

No,I would not even consider marrying this man.
The only positive thing I saw in your post is that you are close to his family.

Maintain that relationship,if at all feasible but I would not even be friends with this man,no less considering a marriage.

Marriage will not change him and make him a committed person.He has a proven track record of infidelity.

The best indication of future behavior is past behavior and he has shown you his lack of honor as a man.
My two cents worth.
Big NO!