[merbear87]

I'll start by saying that I am in my early 20's and I just got out of a 4 year relationship a little over a month and a half ago. The guy I was with was the only person I have ever had sex with or done anything with for that matter.

Recently I've been going out with friends, trying to enjoy the single life and live a little since I never went out when I had a boyfriend.
A few nights ago I met a really cute, nice guy. We hung out all night, and when I got home that night he called me and wanted me to come over to just "talk". I told him about my situation, saying that I was not the type of girl to go home with a guy I just met, and he said it as prefectly fine- he just wanted to hang out and talk. Well, I didn't end up going because I didn't feel it was really appropriate.

Well, he called me the next day and we ended up hanging out just about all day. That night we had a few drinks with some of his friends, it got late and I didn't drive, so he said it would be okay if I just stayed there. So I decided to stay, and we were spooning in bed but he kissed me, I kissed him back, he tried to go further, but I told him I didn't want anything to go farther because it's too soon. He listened to what I said and was okay with it.

Today we went bowling then I went home. He called me and wanted me to come over to cuddle and just go to sleep, but with the way things went last night, I kind of feel like he might be expecting more. I wanted to go over, but I didn't because I'm nervous about it. I don't want to get in a relationship right now, and I don't think he really does either. I do enjoy hanging out with him, though. I just don't know how I feel about the whole situation. Part of me feels like I'm young and I should explore my sexuality (as long as I am SAFE because I know how important it is to wear a condom EVERY TIME.. Im a nursing major, I know the risks), but on the other hand I'm scared. I've been with one guy. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and I don't know if I want to jump into a sex again unles I am in a relationship.

What do you all do in situations as such? Do you feel that whatever happens, happens? Or do you wait? Even if I decide to not go further with this guy, I'm sure I'll continue to encounter it with other guys I am attracted to. I waited a year to have sex with my last boyfriend and in a way I think it ruined our sex life. When we first met there was spark and attraction, but after waiting a year, it wasn't as intense and sex wasn't that good. I feel like things would have been different if I didn't wait as long.

Anyway, tell me what you think. Tell me if you've ever been in a situation like this. I'm interested to hear what you all have to say. Tell me what you would say to the guy. I don't expect you to be able to tell me what to do, I'm just curious as to other peoples thoughts on this. I'd ask my friends, but most of them have had a lot of one night stands and I already know what they would say, haha!

[KISS]

I read a tone of scared.

Set limits.
Respect limits.
Communicate. No means No.

[shazamataz]

I read a tone of scared.

Set limits.
Respect limits.
Communicate. No means No.

I was thinking along the same lines KISS.

If you have any doubts about having sex then don't do it.
Simple as that.

You don't want to end up regretting it later...
If a guy truly likes you for who you are then he will be prepared to wait until you are ready.

[smoothy]

Exactly... guys up through their early 20's for the most part will say or do anything just to get in your pants... He is obviously trying to do just that... I'm a guy, trust me, I see it. He gets the foot in the door, then his leg then next thing half his body is in then eventually there he is standing in your room buck naked trying to convince you that's really what you want.

He's trying to wear you down.

As was mentioned above.


Set limits.
Respect limits.
Communicate. No means NO.

If he keeps pushing you after you say no, once, twice and tries again then ask him to leave... right then, right there. He has to respect YOU.

His words are trying to detract you from his real intentions... which are VERY clear by his actions. To make you his next conquest.

[liz28]

You don't have to sleep around to explore your sexuality.

You seem like you have your head on straight and sleeping over at this guy house makes you uncomfortable because you know what it can lead to and your not ready for it. Well follow your guts and don't put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in.

Enjoy your single life and go out and have fun. When your ready to have sex with someone you will and you won't be having any doubts. If your with a guy that respects your decision he won't try to push the issue.

Never ever do something you don't want to or something your not ready for. If he can't understand this then it is time to move on.

[AuntSwee]

I wish someone had given me this advise when I was your age. Stick to your guns and only stay with a guy IF he shows you respect for your morals and values. Stay true to yourself always.