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dworx1 · May 16, 2009, 04:50 AM

Hey I'm 26 and my ex is 20 we have been together for 3 and a half years and lived together for 2 of them, she left me about 2 months ago when she started to get low, the problem is she is bulimic and since moving back in with her parents has lost a lot of weight, I've tried to talk to her about it which has made things worse between us, and have even spoken to her parents who are just trying to ignore it. Her best friend worked it out and confronted me about it so I have her to help to but we don't know what to do. We don't want to make her feel alone. Its like she dose not care about anyone or anything. She nearly killed her self last weekend in a car crash because she was drinken, I love her so much but I feel helpless towards her please help

tickle · May 16, 2009, 04:58 AM

She has reached rock bottom I am afraid. Eventually vital signs will shut down gradually, she will be in pain and then the end. You MUST get her to a hospital where she can be taken care before you don't have her around anymore. She definitely CANNOT drink. Her organs cannot stand up to the strain the alcohol would put on them.

We can't help, but you can.

ms. tickle

Megan2345 · May 16, 2009, 10:04 AM

I've seen people battle with bulimia. It's scary. It sometimes causes permanent damage to the heart and other organs. Encourage her to seek medical help see a therapist. Understand that she may want to stop and can't. A friend of mine got to a point where she wanted to stop but every time she ate she would have a panic attack and involuntarily throw up. Your friend may need impatient eating disorder treatment. Good luck and hang in there.

SeanMPollard · May 18, 2009, 08:36 PM

I myself have dealt with eating disorders before. Part of helping someone with it is understanding it. Women in today's world are bombarded with unreasonable physical expectations from very early on. Imagine the appeal of bulimia or anorexia, they show quick results for weight loss. If you can, peacefully talk to your ex. Let her know that you still love her, and all you want to do is help her. Inform her that there are healthy options besides the ones she's chosen that can yield great results. I suggest you look up more information on these disorders and the havoc they can cause on your body. Above all, make sure she knows you think she's beautiful. It is common place with disorders like these for the victims to feel unattractive regardless of what people say. Let her know she is beautiful no matter what and that you only want to help her. I wish you and your ex the best. Good luck.

Gemini54 · May 18, 2009, 09:09 PM

You've posted this question before, and I'm not quite sure why it's back again - is it because things have got worse?

You can't do anything on your own. You need to speak to someone at her school, or speak with her parents again and convince them that things are serious.

She needs assistance now and it needs to be intervention by experienced adults.

Speak with the school or parents now.

YeloDasy · May 19, 2009, 11:04 PM

Talk to her gently, ask her questions to help understand what she is thinking and feeling. It is usually a control issue, a defense that is used when something was hutrful in her past. Eating is one thing she can control and may be hard for her to want to stop for various reasons. Show her you are concerned. Ask her if she will go see a doctor to see if she is healthy. Start where she is at, what is she willing to do, and help her along the way. Do not take the control away from her unless you feel she is a danger to herself. If that is the case, you can get her admitted under unable to care for self or danger to self.
But truly seek to understand. She does need professional help and this is a battle that is really hard her whole life, as eating is necessary. Be compassionate and find a few people who she will listen to... and start with them.