[frustrated_]

Hi, Im a 18 female and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. He was my first and one night I got very drunk and we had sex multiply times one month before we started going out. I don't remember sleeping with him at all that night. We have sex regularly and I have not orgasmed once. I haven't talked to him about it because I'm scared to hurt his feelings because this is also my first serious relationship. I'm pretty sure that he thinks that I have came. We have tried different postions... I've even tried touching myself while we are in the act. I've talked to my friends about this and they tell me that it will come eventually but so far nothing. I have been close a couple times but nothing really came. Is there something wrong with me? Should I go and see a sex doctor? I feel that I should talk to my boyfriend about it as we are very serious now but I feel that I have waited to long. And I am working away from him for the next 5 months so I'm probably not going to be seeing him during that time... But is there anything I can do?? I'm starting to feel like a freak because my friends have never had this problem for this long anyway...

[jenniepepsi]

I have had this problem as well hon. Sometimes it happens.

You NEED to talk to him about it. He can help you work through it and find ways to help.

Has he ever done oral sex with you? This helps me a great deal.

You might also try implementing some toys. Like a bullet. Bullets are a GREAT help to hold against your clitoris while he is engaged in intercourse.

Sometimes its hard to talk to a guy lover about, but try the possibility of a dildo. Men can be great lovers, but no matter how great, experienced, or wonderful they are in bed, nothing can quite compare to the dildo. You can get it into you in angles and depths not possible for a penis.

Sorry to get so litteral in my termanology :D

I hope this helps. If all else fails, a 'sex doctor' may indeed be beneficial. You could have a hormone imbalance (too much testosterone not enough estrogen)

[bronzebabe]

A lot of women have this problem, and usually, I tell them just to keep practicing.
Knowing your body and what you like helps.

[Catsmine]

How long do you two engage in foreplay? I don't even get hard until my wife's gotten off at least once. The ideal is to start Friday night and finish sometime Tuesday. How close can you get?

[letmetellu]

How long is it from insertion until he has an orgasm. Also how long is it from the time that you know that you might have sex until he is inserted into you.

What I am getting at is that men get ready for sex much faster than females. So if he is not giving you much foreplay the problem might be that you are just not at the point of having an orgasm..

One way to help get you ready is to masturbate yourself while he is watching, I find this exciting to both partners.

[Gemini54]

Learning about sex is like learning about life, it takes a long time and you keep learning.

Firstly - stop worrying! It's your first relationship and you've only been together 3 months for Christsakes! You didn't learn to ride a bike the first time you jumped on, sex is no different.

Secondly- the best way not to have an orgasm is to worry about it. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Give yourself time, relax and enjoy the sex you're having. Stop thinking about orgasm as a destination and enjoy the journey instead.

Thirdly - talk to your BF. Let him know you're new at this so you can work on it together. Have fun with it, don't obsess about it. Lots of women, of all ages, feel this way and he needs to know this as well. He's learning too remember.

Fourthly - keep exploring your body. Previous posters have given some great advice - take it.

Fifthly - 3 months is NOT a long time. It took me a year!

[shazamataz]

Ok let me say one thing...
It is VERY hard to orgasm from penetration alone, I know very few women that have them regularly this way.

I myself (apologies for the info here... ) can only orgasm during sex if I am on top of the man. You are able to do a bit of 'grinding' against his pelvic region which stimulates the clitoris.

Does he perform oral sex on you?
You need to give him a bit of guidance as to what works for you and how you like to be touched.

Finally, are you able to orgasm when you masturbate alone?

[Synnen]

If you cannot TALK honestly about sex with someone, then you shouldn't be having sex with that person.

Talk to your boyfriend.

And learn how to masturbate. If YOU don't know how to get yourself off, how the heck can you teach him?

[Catsmine]

If YOU don't know how to get yourself off, how the heck can you teach him?

Absolutely