Check out some similar questions!

guitar8034 · May 16, 2009, 09:32 AM

I need some help guys... kinda in a tough situation and would like as much input as possible. Here is my situation:

I've been married for almost 4 yrs now (no kids) and things are good. She is a great wife and we have a solid marriage with really no problems at all. To complicate things, I recently ran across my high school/college sweet heart while I was out one day and was amazed by the emotions I felt. I hadn't seen her in almost 6 yrs. You know the old saying, "theres no love like your first love", well, I completely agree with this statement because even though I hadn't seen her many years, I have always thought about and wondered how she was doing. I know its wrong to think all of this, and to some degree some would probably consider this cheating on my wife. I just can't help but wonder what might have been. I miss her so much! I love my wife... but it just doesn't compare to the love I had with my first love. Should I live the rest of my life as is... and be content with what I have? Or should I see if there is any chance of me living my life with what I consider my true love? I feel every day that passes is another day that is wasted in finding out. I'm so conflicted! I feel like I have spent my entire marriage living with someone that is a substitute for who I I'm suppose to be with. I feel like I'm trying to mask my true feelings for someone else and its so painful. I could never physically cheat on my wife... but mentally I can't stop because I'm starting to feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life by letting the most important thing of my life slip away...

Lorenzo Garcia · May 16, 2009, 10:42 AM

I personally believe you should go with your heart, I mean this is the rest of your life were talking about. You need to have a long hard think and look at your life now, see where it's going and if you want to change it. I also believe that everything happens for a reason so there must be a reason why you both met again after 6 years. Maybe you should talk to her tell her how you feel and see how she feels. If you both are meant to be then it will happen. Wish you the best of luck!

talaniman · May 16, 2009, 10:55 AM

mentally I can't stop because I'm starting to feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life by letting the most important thing of my life slip away...

You went one way, she went another, she hardly slopped away as you so romantically put it, because you had no control over her actions, and still don't.

While its understandable to have those feelings, even natural for humans, it would be absurd, and stupid to act on them.

The feeling will pass if you let them, or distract you, and then you will start justifying those feeling by finding faults in your partner, and that is not healthy, realistic, or fair.

Better to cope with your feeling, and deal with your reality, as I have those feelings too, from time to time (when the wife pizzed me of) but be darned if I'm going to go for the birds in the bush, for the one in the hand.

By the way I still have fond memories of high school sweethearts, but after more than 30 years of marriage, that's all they are, old feelings, and memories.

talaniman · May 16, 2009, 11:13 AM

Lorenzo Garcia;1739146, I personally believe you should go with your heart, I mean this is the rest of your life were talking about.

You make decisions with your heart, AND YOUR HEAD!

You need to have a long hard think and look at your life now, see where it's going and if you want to change it.

Fact- 4 years of happy marriage thrown away by a meeting of an ex??? I don't think so.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason so there must be a reason why you both met again after 6 years.

Just because a blast from the past happens and stirs up old feelings and memories, you don't lose sight of what your doing, or go behind your partners back to see if the grass is greener in someone else's yard. You skipped the part about evaluating what you have, and if it isn't what you want, then take actions to fix it. Go or stay. Jumping from one person to another without the healing in between, is a disaster waiting to happen, and is cheating on your partner.

Maybe you should talk to her tell her how you feel and see how she feels. If you both are meant to be then it will happen. Wish you the best of luck!

Talking to the ex in this manner, after a chance meeting, is cheating. Can you consider, if it was meant to be, then it WOULD have happened?