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papili · May 15, 2009, 06:54 AM

Well, been having sex with my boyfriend. But as I had mentioned earlier on another post, he likes to rush things to get to penetration point. At one point, as he was putting on the condom, I took it away and told him that am not ready yet to be penetrated. I wasn't aroused as yet. And since this had become a routine thing( i.e, him rushing things) I spoke out. And you know what he told me? That he will shrink back and so, he has to go in. so I allowed him.

Am not really that experienced when it comes to sex.(am in my mid twenties by the way, so don't think am not of age here) but I don't think one's erection can stay on for such a short tym! So there's one tym, after denying him the privillege to go in, he slowly started losing his erection! Did I keep him for too long, did he need to go in that soon? So I wondered,
1. is this normal? How long is an erection supposed to last;
2. what could be the problem here. Him, me?

Kindly help!

Synnen · May 15, 2009, 08:21 AM

No... he's an idiot.

He can get ANOTHER erection if that one goes away.

He can CERTAINLY still get you off with his tongue or hands.

It's not about him.

KISS · May 15, 2009, 08:32 AM

In general, it does take a more time to arouse a women vs a man.

I think it's your time to teach and he needs to practice. YOU need to communicate and tell him what feels good. He can live without the "Wham bamm, thank you Maam additude!

Sex is about communication and pleasure.

Try letting him wear a blindfold. It will cut off one of the senses and should help him delay arousal.

artlady · May 15, 2009, 08:40 AM

If he is not being stimulated his erection will go down but once he is stimulated again,his erection will come back,usually within a few minutes,if that long.
Don't allow him to play you that way and make sure he understands that sex is about mutual satisfaction and if need be instruct him on how to please you.
Don't settle for less!

smoothy · May 15, 2009, 08:44 AM

He's got his own issues and he's trying to blame you.

It isn't and shouldn't be about him alone. He needs to learn this, even if it's the hard way.

An erection can be anywhere from a few minutes to several hours if stimulation is maintained.

And it's a simple matter of him getting another, the penis isn't a flower that blooms once a year then its over... its not hard to get another, its easy in fact. If he's having problems he should seek medical help.

If he tries to pull the blue balls BS story make sure to show him the door and tell him to not let it hit him in the butt as he exits.

Catsmine · May 15, 2009, 04:30 PM

The third erection is the one that blows your mind. Take some time and have a GOOOOD time.

papili · May 16, 2009, 12:20 AM

So its not me? And apart from talking to him, (which by the way, have done several times) nothing else I should do? Because as you have all said, it shouldn't take that long.I thought so too. But with him, it does take long. I try to arouse him back but it takes long and frustrating to me, like am not turning him on. So I thought it could be me. But on the other hand, what makes me doubt that is me, is because I never had this kind of experience with my former buyfriend.

Anything more to add on to this?

Catsmine · May 16, 2009, 02:11 AM

Ask him to let you be the one that jerks him off. He may be doing himself instead of you.

bronzebabe · May 16, 2009, 07:39 AM

Is he inexperienced? There are men that cannot keep an erection, unless continually stimulated. Maybe that's what he needs to do. He thinks if he doesn't start having sex right away, he will not be able to and because he has that in his head, it takes a long time to get his erection back. It's all in his head, of course, but he doesn't seem to know that OR care.

Catsmine · May 16, 2009, 08:15 AM

Originally Posted by bronzebabe

"OR care.

Cheap shot there, BB. These young folk may simply not know themselves well enough, let's not assume he's young, dumb, and full of *** until she tells us about him.

papili · May 17, 2009, 10:56 PM

I am his forth. So I cannot say he is not experienced. What I wonder is how the women he's been with went through this. Since I don't know them, I stilll rely on experienced guys like you out there.

smoothy · May 18, 2009, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by papili

i am his forth. so i cannot say he is not experienced. what i wonder is how the women he's been with went through this. since i dont know them, i stilll rely on experienced guys like you out there.

Pehaps that's why he is no longer with numbers one through three and he's now working on you, number four. They got tired of dealing with him.

papili · May 18, 2009, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Pehaps thats why he is no longer with numbers one thru three and he's now working on you, number four. They got tired of dealing with him.

He he he.thats funny. Had I seen it from that angle, I wouldn't have posted that bit. Guess I should get packing because he listens to nothing!