[82mommy]

My son is 3yo and his biological father has not been in his life since he was 10mon old. This is mostly because he is married (unknown to me until I was 7 mon. pregnant) and this situation has cuased friction and he also has another child from his wife born exactly 9 mon. before our son. He also has sole custody of his 12yo daughter and 6yo son and receives child support from there mother. I have filed for child support and have never received a VOLUNTARY payment and he rarely works because his wife supports him. He refuses to pay due to the high amount of child support he was ordered and that it is more than he receives for his two kids. He only pays when he gets pulled over with a suspended license or has his taxes withheld. His father does not call or visit. We have been to court so many times for Contempt-failure to pay and he still does not comply. He suggest that I am complicating this situation by having the courts involved. So I'm wondering if I should file for sole custody? I'm worried I won't get it because my son is still young or that the judge may also take his other kids that he has custody of into consideraration.

[mum45]

Check with your state laws. My nephew was warned by a judge before he entered into a year long rehab program that if he let an entire year go by with no contact, and no support, that his child could be legally adopted without his consent or even his being notified. Just check into your state laws and see how they may apply to your situation before you make any decisions.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sole custody does not mean he does not have to pay child support, it merely means he does not have joint custody. He could still ask for visitation if you have sole custody but he will not get it, if he does not ask.

And many men would not pay child support unless it was enforced, that is why they go to jail and that is why most states have a child support enforcement.

So if you don't have a custody order in place ( but you have to have one to get child supprot) you can modify it, if he has joint custody, what you want is legal and physical cusotdy

[mum45]

Boy, things are strange. Seems to me a father who does not visit, does not pay support, wouldn't even want to think about custody. Seems like you honestly wouldn't have to file for it, that you would automatically have it!! Just legality issues are crazy, aren't they??

[Trandall19705]

My son is 3yo and his biological father has not been in his life since he was 10mon old. This is mostly due to the fact that he is married (unknown to me until I was 7 mon. pregnant) and this situation has cuased friction and he also has another child from his wife born exactly 9 mon. before our son. He also has sole custody of his 12yo daughter and 6yo son and receives child support from there mother. I have filed for child support and have never received a VOLUNTARY payment and he rarely works bc his wife supports him. He refuses to pay due to the high amount of child support he was ordered and that it is more than he receives for his two kids. He only pays when he gets pulled over with a suspended license or has his taxes witheld. His father does not call or visit. We have been to court so many times for Contempt-failure to pay and he still does not comply. He suggest that I am complicating this situation by having the courts involved. So I'm wondering if I should file for sole custody? I'm worried I won't get it bc my son is still young or that the judge may also take his other kids that he has custody of into consideraration.

It would not surprise me if does not contest and if he does not then you would have all the rights.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would assume you have sole custody, if you have physical and legal custody with him only having visits is sole custody.

What you are talking about is termination of his rights I would assume. While at times possible normally judges don't take away the other parents rights very easy