[Red94]

My first baby was stillborn... the day after, I woke up early in the hospital and within a few seconds remembered what had happened and started to cry. A couple of minutes later my mother-in-law entered the room with her friend to visit. She smiled at me and asked why I was crying! My daughter was her first grandchild and she had lost a teenage daughter,plus had two miscarriages herself. Can someone explain this? At the time,it shocked me, but I was grieving too deeply to think much about it until later. Thanks!

[Alty]

Some people don't handle grief well, sounds like your mother in law is one of them.

I'm so sorry for your loss, know that it will get less painful with time and that you aren't alone.

There are support groups, people that have been through the same thing, check with the hospital to see if they offer groups like this.

I wish you all the best.

Take care.

[Fr_Chuck]

We each handle loss and grief in different ways.

[JoeCanada76]

Like others have said... Different people deal with loss in different ways. Some act like nothing happened, thinking its best way to get past it. Everybody deals with it differently. Alty is right, there are many many support groups out there for parents who have lost a child. I am so sorry for your loss. It will take time to grieve and just know people are here to support you through this.

Joe

[artlady]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have a mother in law(not married but she is still like a mil) and she is a lovely woman and I love her but she is a little harsh and she is tough and she believes if something hurts you ,you just suck it up and go on.

The kind of person who says *you can't cry over split milk*. Grab the bull by the horns and get on with life.
Maybe in her own way ,she was trying to help you toward that goal.
I hold someone's hand when they hurt but that is just me

.My MIL would say *c'mon lets cook or go shopping.Old school way of just sucking it up.
I am sure she meant no harm.

[IWHO]

My step-mother, lost her ex-husband (murdered), her only daughter from cancer, her oldest son in an oil field accident, and then her next eldest son in a motocycle accident... her daughter was 23, her oldest son was 25, and then her 2nd oldest son was 35... this woman also has been fighting breast cancer... though it hurts her TREMENDOUSLY, how could it not, she makes peace with her losses by saying their souls were so pure that God wanted them by his side... maybe, that's what your mother-in-law has come to accept... that a loss, though it hurts, doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing... it just means you will have to see them later, when you join them in heaven...

[JudyKayTee]

Maybe she didn't know HOW to behave, what to say.

I have a dear, dear friend who, when my husband died, consoled me by saying (with a hug), "Don't worry. You'll meet someone and marry again."

I didn't take offense - she just didn't know what to say!

[Squiffy78]

Hi, I too lost a daughter, my first child, to stillbirth. I fell pregnant a few months later with another daughter and while discussing names I mentioned to my aunt in law at the time that I couldn't think of a name I liked other than the name my first daughter had been given (which was the name I had always planned on giving my first ever daughter even when I was a child) and the woman said to me, why don't you just give the new baby the same name? Seriously. Some people simply don't understand. And others don't care. And some don't know what to say to make it better. I don't know which of these your mil is though.

[Nestorian]

Silly as this will seem but I think master Yoda said it best, “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.”

I'm sorry for your loss. May peace and kindness be with you.