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NWN · May 5, 2009, 07:12 PM

He called today, he called twice tonight, he wrote me an email. Is this normal? He was never like this before.

Finally I wrote him back. Broke nc I know but I couldn't help it. I told him I wanted him to stop calling and writiing. We'll see...

jjwoodhull · May 5, 2009, 07:18 PM

He's contacting you more than usual because he senses that you are pulling away. Stay strong. Block his emails if you have to.

Gemini54 · May 5, 2009, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by NWN

He called today, he called twice tonight, he wrote me an email. Is this normal? He was never like this before.

Finally I wrote him back. Broke nc I know but i couldn't help it. I told him I wanted him to stop calling and writiing. We'll see...

I'm not super familiar with the rules of NC, but I'm assuming that you usually let the person you're having NC with know that you don't want contact with them and why. You've now let him know, so take it from there. Good luck.

NWN · May 12, 2009, 08:21 PM

Long story short, boyfriend and I have broke up for a couple of weeks ago. Not a messy break up but we've been through this before, type of thing where we know it will never work out but just can't let go.

Been doing the NC thing and it's hard to say the least. He calls and texts me and doesn't understand why we can't be friends, we said we would. He doesn't want to be with me, but won't let me go.

We never really had the conversation where I tell him 'I need to get over you and I can't do that if we're still in contact. I'm having a hard time with this and I don't think I can be your friend right now'. I feel bad because he seems confused and hurt by how cold I am and I don't think he understands why I'm doing this. I should also mention that I do see him from time to time, it's inevitable given our circle of friends.

Do you think that type of conversation can help in getting closure? Will it benefit me in any way? I think at the very least he would stop contacting me as much. And then I could finally start dealing with the phase of him not contacting me. I'm dreading the day he stops contacting me but at the same time, I know I need to go through it at some point and would rather it was sooner rather than later. I also think I would feel good after getting a few things off my chest. But I can't be sure that it's not just an excuse to communicate with him.

What do you guys think, closure or an excuse to contact him?

Gemini54 · May 13, 2009, 01:17 AM

Setting boundaries is a good thing. I would text him, or leave a message on his answering service. I suggest that having a conversation may not be the way to go, given that you're in NC. However, setting the parameters for NC and stating the reasons may assist you both. Hope it goes OK.