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wrightsway83 · May 4, 2009, 08:16 AM

I want to relinquish my parental rights to my child to his grandparents how does that work? And is there court or lawyers involed in the process:(

stevetcg · May 4, 2009, 09:32 AM

What about the other parent? Are your grandparents adopting the child?

ScottGem · May 4, 2009, 09:39 AM

IF your grandparents are willing to adopt the child and IF the other parent is also willing to relinquish, then yes this can be done. An adoption has to be affirmed by a court so it would be better for lawyers to get involved.

But are you sure this is the best way? If you can't care for your child now, maybe giving the gransparents temporary guardianship is a better answer.

Please give us more details so we can advise further.

Sunflowers · May 4, 2009, 02:19 PM

Is anyone pressuring you into trying to go this route?

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 05:56 AM

No one is pressuring me but I think I had my child for the wrong reasons and since I have had him my life has just changed in all of the worse way I care for him but on the same note I just really don't have the connection with him that I should and I feel bad but I know I am not the only one in this world that has this same issue my parents are willing to do whatever for my child even adopting him and I am grateful

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by sunflowers

is anyone pressuring you into trying to go this route?

No one is pressuring me this is for my own peace of mind I am not fit in my eyes and everyone else says that I am but I feel it in my heart that I am not

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

what about the other parent? Are your grandparents adopting the child?

The other parent is in jail and he has never taking care of my child and he never signed the birth certificate

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

what about the other parent? Are your grandparents adopting the child?

Yes my parents would adopt my son as there's no doubt about that

stevetcg · May 5, 2009, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by wrightsway83

the other parent is in jail and he has never takin care of my child and he never signed the birth certificate

Your parents cannot adopt your child without his permission.

ScottGem · May 5, 2009, 08:19 AM

As noted the father will have to agree to an adoption.

You don't say how old the child is, its possible you are just going through post partum depression. So I strongly advise against making any permanent decisions.

What I would suggest is that you consult a family law attorney about conveying guardianship to your parents. Let that go on for a few years. If you still feel at that point that you want to relinquish then have an attorney prepare the adoption papers.

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Your parents cannot adopt your child without his permission.

So your saying that even though his father is in jail and never signed the birth certificate then I still would have to get his permission

stevetcg · May 5, 2009, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by wrightsway83

so your saying that even though his father is in jail and never signed the birth certificate then i still would have to get his permission

Just because he is in jail and never signed the birth certificate does not mean that he isn't the child's father and entitled to his rights, yes, that is exactly what I am saying. Paternity will have to be established through court order and then he would have to relinquish his rights to clear the way for an adoption to proceed.

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As noted the father will have to agree to an adoption.

You don't say how old the child is, its possible you are just going through post partum depression. So I strongly advise against making any permanent decisions.

What I would suggest is that you consult a family law attorney about conveying guardianship to your parents. Let that go on for a few years. If you still feel at that point that you want to relinquish then have an attorney prepare the adoption papers.

Well my son is 3 years old and I don't think its post pardum depression I was on the antidepressants and I still have the same feelings about my child the meds just kind of controlled it and now that I am not taking the meds its full force with these feelings it doesn't feel normal I feel really bad about this

BlueMoodsNJustin · May 5, 2009, 07:21 PM

That is a big step and I would do a lot of soul searching and praying before making a final decision. I had many moments when I was raising my son where I wanted to just hand him over to my sister; she had my power of attorney and would have automatically become my son's guardian if something happened to me where I could not care for him. It would have been a simple quick process to just give him up.

Thank God that even though I have impulsive thoughts I rarely act on impulse. As much of a nightmare as my son can be even to this day (he's 20) I would have regretted taking that action for the rest of my life.

Could the grandparents be granted temporary guardianship or custody until you have a chance to get to a place where you can parent your child or have given it enough time and thought to know with no doubts whatsoever that terminating your parental rights is the best and only option for you?

That said, I do admire the fact that you are even considering giving your child up as an option. Whatever your reasons you seem to feel that NOT being a mother to your child is in the child's best interests, which could be very true. Look at little Caylee Anthony. Her mother never really wanted her in the first place but the grandmother "foced" Casey to keep the little girl which resulted in tragic consequences.

God bless you and your child with whatever you decide to do. It' can't be an easy decision to make.

wrightsway83 · May 5, 2009, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by BlueMoodsNJustin

That is a big step and I would do alot of soul searching and praying before making a final decision. I had many moments when I was raising my son where I wanted to just hand him over to my sister; she had my power of attorney and would have automatically become my son's guardian if something happened to me where I could not care for him. It would have been a simple quick process to just give him up.

Thank God that even tho I have impulsive thoughts I rarely act on impulse. As much of a nightmare as my son can be even to this day (he's 20) I would have regretted taking that action for the rest of my life.

Could the grandparents be granted temporary guardianship or custody until you have a chance to get to a place where you can parent your child or have given it enough time and thought to know with no doubts whatsoever that terminating your parental rights is the best and only option for you?

That said, I do admire the fact that you are even considering giving your child up as an option. Whatever your reasons you seem to feel that NOT being a mother to your child is in the child's best interests, which could be very true. Look at little Caylee Anthony. Her mother never really wanted her in the first place but the grandmother "foced" Casey to keep the little girl which resulted in tragic consequences.

God bless you and your child with whatever you decide to do. It' can't be an easy decision to make.

Thank you so much for that and yes my parents are stepping up and helping me find the way and they understand that its not easy I am just going to go my way for a while and love from a distant not put him off but really find myself in the time and give myself some time to grow up and become the mother I know how to be

ScottGem · May 6, 2009, 06:13 AM

Everything I am reading reinfroces what I've said (same thing Blue said). Give your parents legal guardianship and step back and love from afar. Don't make any moves that might be permanent at this time.

Good luck to you.