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MZZZRICH · Mar 25, 2009, 05:00 PM

My grown son won't work and I'm tired of paying his rent.

DoulaLC · Mar 25, 2009, 07:25 PM

If you can follow through, give him a time frame for when to get a job and start helping out or let him know he will have to find another place to live.

If you are not comfortable with that idea, and it would be sufficient for you, you could give him the option of helping around the house and yard in exchange for rent.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 25, 2009, 07:28 PM

Tell him in 30 or 60 days you won't and then don't, he may have to sleep in his car for a few weeks or a shelter, it will not kill him but will send him a message

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 29, 2009, 12:17 AM

I agree. Start putting price tags on everything he uses. The shampoo, the food, the electricity, the rent, everything. When he questions it explain how much you spend on these things, and that he needs to start paying rent and pulling his own weight or he needs to move out. Give him a reasonable time frame.

What is his excuse for not having a job?

liz28 · Mar 29, 2009, 06:21 AM

Does your son live with you or reside some where and your paying his rent?

Your son knows that he doesn't have to work because mommy will pay his way. Stop it, let him man up by getting out his lazy a** to find a job.

Sometimes you have to let people, even if it's your son, hit rock bottom for they face reality and to grow up. But if they stay there than it there choice to do so.

MZZZRICH · May 3, 2009, 10:51 AM

Thanks for all the advice. You guys sound just like my family . My son graduated from high school in 2005 and my husband (his stepfather) will not permit him to live under our roof, so I've been paying my son's way ever since. He has tried college and he has worked here and there, but things have gotten worse. Now he seems uninterested in looking for work and he still thinks I should keep paying his rent. His lease is up April 28, but since I'm the only one who signed it, the landlord is holding me responsible. My son's name is on the lease but he never signed. He also refuses to move. His solution is to let the landlord evict him; however, that eviction would go on my credit, since, technically, it's my lease. The landlord will allow my son to stay in the apartment if he can pass a credit check. That's not going to happen. My family recommends that I evict him. Can I do that? Oh, yeah. He seems to think it's my responsibility to provide a place for him to live; he even offered to "pay half." What a joke!

liz28 · May 3, 2009, 11:06 AM

Yes you can evict him since it is your apartment. Evict, Evict! Time for him to learn a life lesson the hard way since he feels things suppose to be handed to him.

Don't do nothing else for him after this. He has to learn that if you want something in life you have to pay for it. You pay for things by getting a job, maybe 2 if you have to.

There are no free rides. Your job as a parent is done. You gave him life and raise him. That is all you suppose to do every thing after that was from the kindness of your heart but he took advantage of that.

DoulaLC · May 3, 2009, 04:37 PM

His lease was up this past April 28 or is it for another year? Simply tell him you can't afford to cover it for him anymore... give him a time limit for when you will no longer be paying.

nitelight198073 · May 3, 2009, 04:50 PM

Oh dear don't let him take advantage of you anymore. You are like putty in his hands it is time for some well deserved tough love boot his a** out

Jake2008 · May 3, 2009, 07:08 PM

So, you have been paying his rent since he graduated high school, so approximately 4 years now.

Your husband refuses to allow him to live under his roof, and hasn't allowed this since he was a teenager? What happened.

Am I reading this wrong? And your family is all onboard with evicting him as well.

Why was he not allowed to live at home, and what's with your husband's lack of a relationship with him, has it always been that way? Is that the reason he was not allowed to live at home, because they clash?

I think there are bigger problems here than who's credit score is going to tank because of an eviction.

I think you must have been legally on the hook to support him, because he was a minor, and now that he's 21, is this the reason for the dramatic shift?

It would be helpful to know more of the story. Situations like this don't happen overnight for no reason.