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Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:13 PM

So I'm 16 going on 17 years old in 2 months and my boyfriend of almost a year(in a month or so) is 15 going on 16 in a few months. We really fell in love with each other and want to be with each other for a long time. I know it doesn't ridiculous because we're so young but we love each other more than anything. We make out once in a while and used to have dry sex. But now he's telling me he likes it, but later than night he'll get nervous about it and have anxiety issues with it. And it takes a lot to get him sexually going too. I asked him if it was me and he said, "no i love you. And your beautiful. you mean everything to me.. i just think we should stick to making out." He's already went through puberty too. I'm a really sexual person but I love him so I'm staying with him, but I want to know if this is ever going to change as he gets older and is this normal? :confused: Please help me, I don't know if I can take the stress :(

adam_89 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:18 PM

I would say calm down for now and if you really love him, than wait for him. It is usually the guy asking this. I know you are young and shouldn't be having sex and obviously you aren't but you are going to do what you want regardless of what is said here.

My suggestion though is to wait it out and I am sure he will come around and things will work themselves out.

Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:28 PM

All right I hope so thanks :)

artlady · Apr 28, 2009, 12:28 PM

When you are both older you will appreciate the act of love making so much more.

It is more than just two bodies coming together as one and to fully grasp the depth of that ,you need maturity.

Respect his wishes and give yourself time as well.He is young and inexperienced and he is perfectly normal.

XOXOlove · Apr 28, 2009, 12:29 PM

It is normal for people to feel this way at a young age. You shouldn't try to persuade him to do what you want him to do. If he is not ready then wait a while.

mudweiser · Apr 28, 2009, 12:34 PM

Sex shouldn't be stressful, let alone a big part of your relationship for it to function.

You say you're a sexual person, how do you know? Have you been sexual before-- or is this your first time?

Your boyfriend is probably worried about getting you pregnant--which is normal.

Take it down a notch kiddo.

Sarah

kctiger · Apr 28, 2009, 12:37 PM

Perhaps you should talk this over with your Dad... wonder what he would have to say... :cool:

liz28 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:38 PM

Sex isn't everything you know and it seems like he really cares about you. So take things slow and don't stress too much about sex.

You will have plenty of time for that and there are only ways to show your appreciation for someone besides sex. Maybe he performing the way he is because he feels like he is being rush and your age might play a factor.

Slow down and take things slow and be happy that he isn't all about sex like most guys his age.

I mean come on.

mudweiser · Apr 28, 2009, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Perhaps you should talk this over with your Dad...wonder what he would have to say...:cool:

Oooh ooh is it:

-Your grounded!
-Go to your room and never come out
-What is this boy's name?
-I'll be right back ::slams door, car screeches, dad doesn't come home till late tomorrow dirty and looking jumpy::

Sarah

Justwantfair · Apr 28, 2009, 12:42 PM

So you love your boyfriend, but you are too much of a sexual person to understand that he isn't ready. So you would like to push the issue with him and force him to be ready because --- you are. Do I have that right so far?

So if your boyfriend was pushing you to have sex and you weren't ready, do you think our advice would be - oh well, get ready?

It's only the difference of one year, but apparently especially in this instance it is a crucial year of difference. Maybe it is time to let him go so he can develop in his own time because it is completely inappropriate for you to push him or guilt him into sex.

I don't know how you are incurring so much stress from this, but I am highly concerned for what reasons you believe you are a 'really sexual person' at 16 years old. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, you have plenty of time for sex in the future and right now I don't think that you are ready for the responsibilities that go with being sexually active.

liz28 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by mudweiser

Oooh ooh is it:

-Your grounded!
-Go to your room and never come out
-What is this boy's name?
-I'll be right back ::slams door, car screeches, dad doesn't come home till late tomorrow dirty and looking jumpy::

Sarah

My dad would have put his foot in his a$$ and then lock me in my room forever. But there is no telling what my mom might do to me.

Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:53 PM

Haha thanks everyone

kctiger · Apr 28, 2009, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Kiaraxox2

haha thanks everyone

Give me your greenies or I shoot the cat... :cool:

Justwantfair · Apr 28, 2009, 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Give me your greenies or I shoot the cat...:cool:

I searched my whole first page, no kc greenie... guess you will just have to woo me better then that.

Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

So you love your boyfriend, but you are too much of a sexual person to understand that he isn't ready. So you would like to push the issue with him and force him to be ready because --- you are. Do I have that right so far?

So if your boyfriend was pushing you to have sex and you weren't ready, do you think our advice would be - oh well, get ready?

It's only the difference of one year, but apparently especially in this instance it is a crucial year of difference. Maybe it is time to let him go so he can develop in his own time because it is completely inappropriate for you to push him or guilt him into sex.

I don't know how you are incurring so much stress from this, but I am highly concerned for what reasons you believe you are a 'really sexual person' at 16 years old. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, you have plenty of time for sex in the future and right now I don't think that you are ready for the responsibilities that go with being sexually active.

Yup I completely understand but what I meant by "sexual' was he turns me on a lot, like makes me horny and I've waited a really long time and I want to have sex with him because I love him more than anything. But if he wants to wait, or not do it at all I'm fine. I just want to make sure its normal.. like sometimes I don't think I turn him on and it kind of stinks.

Justwantfair · Apr 28, 2009, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by Kiaraxox2

yup i completely understand but what i meant by "sexual' was he turns me on a lot, like makes me horny and i've waited a really long time and i want to have sex with him because I love him more than anything. but if he wants to wait, or not do it at all im fine. i just want to make sure its normal.. like sometimes i dont think i turn him on and it kinda stinks.

Sounds like it has way more to do with him being ready then anything at all to do with you.

If you are pushing the issue then you are only adding to the pressure and his nervousness.

If he is wonderful, appreciate your time, enjoy what he is comfortable with and if you feel like you are too ready and he isn't, then excuse yourself to the bathroom and take care of it on your own.

You can get through this, but there isn't anything wrong with him and there isn't anything wrong with wanting to wait.

Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Sounds like it has way more to do with him being ready then anything at all to do with you.

If you are pushing the issue then you are only adding to the pressure and his nervousness.

If he is wonderful, appreciate your time, enjoy what he is comfortable with and if you feel like you are too ready and he isn't, then excuse yourself to the bathroom and take care of it on your own.

You can get through this, but there isn't anything wrong with him and there isn't anything wrong with wanting to wait.

All right I'm glad to hear that. Thank you. Because usually guys are such... I don't know their so into that kind of stuff and its just.. I guess I don't know different. I thought he might be gay or bi or something but then he still wouldn't be with me or make out with me or anything. But I don't push it on him either, I tell him its okay but secretly in my head I'm wondering and kind of wishing he weren't like that. But honestly, part of its because all three of my best friends are sexually active. And I'm not so it kind of makes me jealous. But I love him so its okay

Justwantfair · Apr 28, 2009, 01:18 PM

Don't submit to peer pressure, it is way more admirable to wait until you are ready.

When your friends look back they will wish they had a boyfriend who didn't pressure them to be ready.

Kiaraxox2 · Apr 28, 2009, 01:22 PM

Yeah your right! Thanks for your help everyone :)

Romefalls19 · Apr 29, 2009, 05:26 AM

Ok first question, someone please tell me what dry sex is. I'm lost on that

Second, it may be that he is worried and afraid to take it to the next level. Guys have a lot to worry about, especially their first time and if the girl is experienced, it's worse. We have to worry about being good enough, long enough, and more importantly, what if she becomes pregnant. You will appreciate the fact he wants to wait later in life.