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bncarlton · Apr 27, 2009, 12:55 PM

I have been divorced since 2007 and since remarried and had my third child. However, my first two kids were my ex husbands. My ex has not paid child support or seen his two sons in over a year. I was pregnant with my exs and my second son while we were getting divorced, he has had nothing to do with him and doesn't even know the child's name. My husband now wants to adopt them and has since we got married last year. I do not know how to go about this. We would also like the older boys last names changed. How would we go about an adoption? :confused:

ScottGem · Apr 27, 2009, 02:07 PM

Simple, you shop around for an attorney who handles adoptions. The attorney will create all the paperwork you need, including your ex's relinquishment of rights. They will file the paperwork in the proper court and make sure everything is legal.

cdad · Apr 27, 2009, 02:24 PM

Were there child support and custody orders in place after the 2nd child was born and you finalized the divorce ?

Also adoption will be much easier if your married to your new husband for at least 1 year.

After the adoption or possibly during those proceedings is when you would ask about a name change. The reason for waiting until its final is because you won't have to seek your ex's approval for a name change.

bncarlton · Apr 28, 2009, 06:58 AM

Yes, we have been married over a year. Yes, there is court ordered child support and visitation for little boy number two. He was also supposed to pay all off the past due bill and didn't which are now ruining my credit. Would it be possible to have the ex agree to relinquish his rights if I agree not to seek legal action for the past due child support? This is the advice that an attorney gave me to make things more simple. He owes a little over 7 grand. The same attorney also told me that getting a court to take away a parents rights is difficult. I would almost have to prove that the ex is a harm to the children. I can't do that because he never sees them. Its sad because he doesn't care at all. My husband has taken care of the boys. The boys even call me husband Daddy. I just think it would be better for all of us if we didn't have to worry about the ex popping in and out of their life. He makes more money than my husband and I combined, but spends it on himself. I know stability is a key to kids having a good childhood. My husband and I offer the stability and a ALWAYS concerned that the ex is going to call and want his weekend or his summertime. We do not care about the money we just want the adoption and the ex to relinquish his rights.

ScottGem · Apr 28, 2009, 07:11 AM

Please reread the previous answers because they answer your question already.

Yes you can offer to forgive and forget the support arrears if he relinquishes his rights. If you consulted an attorney he could have told you this. As the attorney advised courts are very reluctant to involuntarily terminate, but if you are applying for an adoption and he signs off to relinquish his rights it should be a slam dunk.