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kaiangelgirl · Apr 24, 2009, 06:58 AM

Should teens be allowed to marry if they are truly in love? Should age matter? :confused:

mudweiser · Apr 24, 2009, 06:59 AM

They aren't allowed to marry. That's why they need parental consent.

Sarah

ScottGem · Apr 24, 2009, 07:01 AM

The problem here is how does one know one is "truly in love"? Thjat most teens do not have the experience and maturity to tell whether they are truly in love. In fact, many adults don't know if they are truly in love.

So, my opinion is age not only should but DOES matter. If love truly exists then it will stand the wait until the parties mature and establish themselves.

kaiangelgirl · Apr 24, 2009, 07:03 AM

Two people love each other and have thought about it very much, have a plan, and have everything ready... the catch: they're 18. Their parents don't like that they want to get married so young but they love each other and want to start a real family. Should they listen to their parents? :confused:

ISneezeFunny · Apr 24, 2009, 07:06 AM

The problem is, how do they know they're TRULY in love?

Case in point:

1. I had a crush on a girl in middle school. I swore I loved her. I KNEW I couldn't find a girl like her ever again. I wanted to marry her... then I found the girl in #2.

2. I had a girlfriend in high school for 2.5 years. I loved her. We spent every single moment we had together. I KNEW I needed to spend the rest of my life with her... then I found the girl in #3.

3. I had a girlfriend in college. We were together for 3 years. I then decided that since we were going to graduate, we should get married.. . nope.

Teens "shouldn't" get married for a reason... it's because they're not thinking logically about it. They have the Disney/Miley Cyrus mentality: "We love each other. That's all we need."

The truth is, they need jobs, they need to be able to support themselves BY themselves, they need to be able to figure out what to do if they ever did have a kid, etc.

SO. This is my checklist of "things you should HAVE/BE ABLE TO DO before getting married.

1. You've hit puberty.
2. You've stopped having WILD mood swings.
3. You won't describe your significant other as, "I can't live without him! I'm going to run away from home if I have to!"
4. You both have jobs that will be able to support the both of you...such as a place to live, mode of transportation, utility bills, medical bills, food, and other expenses.
5. They need to be able to figure out what to do in case they have a child, and "pushing her down a flight of stairs"... not really an option.

nitelight198073 · Apr 24, 2009, 07:09 AM

If you are 18 you are an adult there is nothing they can do listen to your heart... but my opinion I would wait a few years so you don't get stuck in a marriage that you want to leave

ISneezeFunny · Apr 24, 2009, 07:14 AM

The thing is...

Can you support yourselves?

Do you both have jobs that can support a place to live, car payments, insurance, medical bills, utility bills, food, etc?

You two getting married is fine and dandy, but don't make the parents get the bill. That's not very "adult" of you.

ScottGem · Apr 24, 2009, 07:17 AM

I've merged your two threads because they are essentially the same issue. Please don't start multiple threads with the same question.

nikosmom · Apr 24, 2009, 07:19 AM

Couldn't rep you Sneezy, but you made some GREAT points!

There's a reason that there's an age restriction on the legal age to marry. It's because teens, though no fault of their own, don't have the mental capacity to engage in something as serious as marriage. The teen brain isn't developed enough to comprehend looking as far forward as planning a marriage.

In fact you aren't allowed legally allowed to enter into ANY contract. Marriage is a contract. You are bound to one person for the rest of your life. A person needs time to grow and to learn to deal with adversity before being in such a serious relationship. A marriage isn't always fun, or just about sleeping together and having rings. It's takes a LOT of effort and devotion to make it work and teens are too short-sighted to understand this.

babz888 · Apr 27, 2009, 01:35 PM

18 is a young enough age to be allowed to get married. If you feel that you's are in love any younger than that then I would suggest a small token like an enternity ring initially, if you's are together long enough then even get engaged that way it can still be called of if your not ready. Young love is a killer and very few last in this day in age. Go out and enjoy your teenage years and think of settling down later. If it's true love s/he will wait for you.