[ablessedmess]

i live in texas. my ex is filing for divorce. we have two kids which he has had no contact for four years. he is sending me papers in the mail to sign and start the process. he says that it will read for him to have visitaion rights and pay child support. he asked his lawyer if he could relinquish his rights but was told that he had to be an unfit father or have someone to adopt the kids.do i need to get married first to have the step parent adopt my kids or can i present him during the divorce process as a guardian? i just dont understand how a father wouldnt be able to give up his rights with the custodials agreement. what exactly would define him unfit? i figure abandonment would be enough considering he never sees his son nor has ever met his daughter. although hes clear about not wanting to visit the children the divorce agreement will read he will have one day a week and weekends. he said that the state of texas pretty much makes the decision for visitations. does this sound right? my understanding is after i return the signed papers it will take 60 days to process until there is a hearing. which i will be appointed a lawyer. what exactly will i be able to present in court after signing an agreement to visitations? can i bring up the reliquishing rights issue or will the judge just process whats in writing? i cannot afford a lawyer of my own. he and i are both liking to remarry asap. but i do not want to risk having my children go and visit with whom they would consider a stranger. My significant other is very sure about adoption, if he does decide to will he have to pay my ex's child support ? Thank u all in advance i very much appreciate u reading my q. god bless u:):D

[JudyKayTee]

You have to be a married couple to adopt, with just a few exceptions. You are confusing moral issues (visiting and being in contact with the children) and legal issues. You really should consult with an Attorney before you sign anything or agree to anything.

He is their father and, as such, as rights to visit with the children if he chooses to do so. Unless he is a DANGER to the children in some fashion, you cannot get those rights revoked.

That's the very simple answer.

[ScottGem]

State laws differ, but most require that one be married to file for adoption.

i just dont understand how a father wouldnt be able to give up his rights with the custodials agreement.

Courts are very reluctant to grant a TPR. Your lawyer was correct as to the reasons they are granted. There are two main reasons this is so. First because parents are entitled to have a relationship wioth their children and vice versa. Second because parents are required to support their children.

Courts want to give a parent evety opportunity to be a part of their children's lives. They don't want a decision made at one point affect their whole future.

[ablessedmess]

You have to be a married couple to adopt, with just a few exceptions. You are confusing moral issues (visiting and being in contact with the children) and legal issues. You really should consult with an Attorney before you sign anything or agree to anything.

He is their father and, as such, as rights to visit with the children if he chooses to do so. Unless he is a DANGER to the children in some fashion, you cannot get those rights revoked.

That's the very simple answer.

Thanks I guess as far as endangerment. Our past had been chaos. I left the marriage while pregnant with our second child because of domestic violence. It went to court and he received probation for a year. I never went tried to enforce a restraining order on him since I left and didn't tell him where. He had an alcohol problem and had gone in and out of jail for drug possession after our separation. So although time has passed and I do not know whether he is clean and sober, I don't have much proof for him being unfit. Thanks so much, I will def. consider consulting legal advice before actually signing.

[JudyKayTee]

Excellent - I'm glad you understood what I was saying. Just make sure you are legally correct.

Hope it works out for you -