[KatiePlce]

"He said that by asking her to do that, she'll remove herself from his life. She won't be his friend any longer. He can't live without her, and he said that if she were to do that, he would leave me.

He would leave me, if Daisy came to the conclusion, ON HER OWN, that she didn't want to interfere in her our relationship anymore."


My heart goes out to you... I have many close guy friends & a lot are married or have g/fs. I'am particularly close with one. And I WOULD NEVER EVERRR spend that much time with him.

My opinion is that he carries more then "friendship" feelings for her. Running out to buy things for her when she's coming over? Renting a wii for HER? Telling his OWN GF that he would LEAVE you if SHE left him!! Why do you want to be 2nd in your own reltionship?

I LOOOVE LOVE my friends but I would NEVER treat them better then my OWN PARTNER. That is definitely a red flag. He might be your 1st love but you absolutely need to let him go for your own sake and self worth. Don't let him continue to make you feel the way you do.

There is a BETTER guy out there for you who will love just YOU & want to just spend time with YOU. Do you really want to stay with a guy who puts someone else before you? Move out asap. Go back home or do whatever you can to just get away from this guy to show him how much he hurt you & how much he took you for granted. This daisy female is no where near as sweet as you sound for trying to at least make this all work out. He will definitely find out the hard way.

Please keep us posted I wish you the best because if you do choose to leave him then it will be hard but the best thing you could do right now.

[rora83]

Thank you all so much for your replies. You have all been so helpful during this horrible situation. I appreciate it so much.

Yesterday, after that final conversation concerning Daisy was over, I decided that I wasn't going to spend another second allowing her or Charlie to hurt me. In my mind and heart, it was done.

Love is not supposed to be this painful. It's not supposed to hurt. Love ought to make a person better--happier. Not miserable and almost suicidal.

Yesterday was a wake up call.

I stopped trying. I stopped caring. The moment that conversation was over, I changed. I decided to ignore him.

And, you know what? It didn't hurt me to do so. It wasn't nearly as upsetting as I imagined it would be--ignoring this person I thought I loved so much. It was shockingly easy. For an hour or so after that conversation took place, Charlie busied himself with playing Wii... but then, it seemed to occur to him that I wasn't in the room. He found me in the bedroom, reading a book, and asked if I was planning on joining him.

"I'm reading, actually."
"Is that a no, then?"
"It is."

Puzzled, he went back to his game. But a half an hour later, he came back.

"Is something up?" he asked. I laughed despite myself--he suddenly cared if something was the matter?

"Nothing I can't rectify on my own," I replied. He stared, blinking, confused. I returned to my book, but he didn't budge.

"Rora, why are you upset?"

I didn't take my eyes off the page as I replied, "I'm not upset." I was, however, wondering if he was bipolar by suddenly showing that my emotional state mattered.

He left again to finish his game. A few moments later, I heard my phone ring from the living room--where he was located. I walked out there, without so much as glancing in his direction, to answer it. Looking at the caller ID, it was a male friend of mine from high school. Suddenly feeling very vindictive, I answered with more enthusiasm than I normally would have, and placed a heavy emphasis on my caller's name upon saying hello.

I heard Charlie's character (he was playing Mario Kart) fall off the edge of a race track. Something Charlie would be very skilled at avoiding, normally. I wondered if I struck a nerve.

My friend, as it turns out, was home from college for the summer, and wanted to catch up. Suddenly, I didn't have to feign my enthusiasm. I was genuinely excited, and asked him when he wanted to get together.

At this point, I saw Charlie pause his game.

My friend asked if I would be available Saturday, and I told him I would be. We chatted for a few more minutes, before ending the conversation with overly gleeful exchanges of, "I'm looking forward to catching up."

Setting my phone down, I looked at Charlie. He was smiling. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Why are you smiling?"
"I know what you're trying to do."
"What am I trying to do?"
"You probably orchestrated that. To prove a point or something. To get me to be jealous. But I've told you, time and again, that I don't care who you hang out with, because I actually trust you."
"Oh. Contrary to what you may think, not everything is actually about you. I didn't plan that phone call, but if you want to tell yourself I did, go ahead."

At which point, I left to resume my book. Charlie got up to follow me.

"You know, I actually am capable of reading a book on my own. I don't need your assistance for it, so you can stop following me in here."
"What has gotten into you? What is your problem? Does this have to do with Daisy?"
"I don't want you to die from the sheer surprise of it, but not everything is about Daisy. Not all of my emotions are a result of her existence, but if it makes you feel better to chock it up to mere jealousy and feminine insanity, go ahead."
"This isn't you. What's gotten into you?"
"Actually, if you took the time to fully pay attention to me, you would know by now that this IS me. This IS my personality."
"No, this is your personality when you're infuriated with someone."
"Hm. Well, since you know me so well, that must be it. I think I'm going to go for a drive."

He just stared.

"A... drive? Where?"

I liked playing this game. HIS game.

"Oh, I don't know. Around. Somewhere."

His brows furrowed together.

"When will you be home?"

"Few hours, maybe. Whenever I get bored, I suppose."

He huffed.

"I thought you wanted to hang out together today."

I feigned a thoughtful expression.

"What did you have in mind to do?"

He gestured to the system he had rented for two nights.

"Oh. That. Hm. Tempting, but I'm not in the mood. Knock yourself out, though."

And with that, I left for the day. I got together with my best friend, commiserated over our relationship issues, and had our nails done.

Charlie called three times.

It appalled me, the fact that I had to behave like him in order to garner his attention. In order for him to show that my feelings and existence mattered.

It was the final nail in the coffin, some may say. I knew I was going to leave him, the only question was when and how I would approach it.

When I returned to the apartment, he was waiting for me in the living room--an annoyed expression on his face. Looking around, it appeared as though he had cleaned.

I set my purse down and moved to sit beside him.

"I called you." He spat.

"I'm sorry I didn't call back. I was tied up." I lifted my hands up to show my newly adorned nails to illustrate what I meant. His expression softened slightly--which caused my chest to ache--the first time it had since the conversation about Daisy that morning. Quickly, I glanced at the Wii and reached for a wheel.

"I thought you weren't in the mood to play that..." His tone was very annoyed.

"I wasn't earlier, but now I am." I gestured to the second wheel, a silent way of inviting him to join me. He took it, and we began Mario Kart.

He was beginning to get into the game, laughing and joking. I smiled, but for a very different reason.

On the last lap of the race, I spoke.

"I'm leaving you."

He dropped his wheel.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm leaving you. I'm taking my things and I am leaving. This isn't working for either of us. You must know that. You can't honestly be happy in this situation--we're always fighting, and I can't do it anymore. I'm leaving."

We sat for a brief moment in stunned silence, before he finally spoke.

"Wonderful. Have a fantastic life." His tone seethed with sarcasm, and he stormed out of the room. I had to wonder why he was reacting so badly to it--he couldn't have been expecting me to remain with him while he behaved so terribly, could he?

I don't know. And, quite frankly, I don't care.

Yes, he was my first love. My first everything. But he doesn't have to be the last, and I don't have to suffer anymore. I think I may be in a state of shock at the moment, not fully grasping what I've done. I know it will probably hit me soon--and hard. I will miss him terribly, and I will always be sensitive toward him and his memory, but... enough is enough. I might not be the greatest person on the planet, but I am worth more than this. Every person is worth more than this.

You all have given me the strength to do this. I may not have handled it in the most mature fashion, but it is over, and I never would have been able to do it if it weren't for your insights. I suppose I fooled myself into believing that it was normal, that he could somehow love me, despite putting another person before me.

I might not be able to respond for a few days, as I'm not entirely sure where I'm going at the moment... most likely back home with my family for the time being. But I want to thank you all again, and I will continue to give you all updates. I know I'll probably be in need of emotional aid once it fully hits me that he's no longer in my life, as twisted as that may be.

Thank you so much.

[Nick Lemaitre]

Holy balls! Good job! That's pretty awsome how you did it!

[KatiePlce]

Did he really think you would stay with him after he said to your face he would leave you if his friendship ended with daisy and how it would kill him! Wow he's something else. Funny how he tried sooo hard not to hurt daisys feelings and when you told him YOU were leaving him, he didn't seem to really stop you. You are WAAAAAY better off without him.

[dealmein]

Well done I'm so pleased for you! Go on enjoy your life and know you deserve nothing but the best. Coming out on top after all that hurt and pain shows just what a great person you are.

[angiejii]

Plain and simple it's a matter of respect. We are raised that relationships are between two people not three and the fact that he is seeing her at your home in the middle of the night and is occupied with her during the day shows his relationship is with daisy. Friends don't do what they are doing and there's no excuse to make it o.k.If you stay you will soon be alone and regret not been strong enough to walk away.What he does to you is not what people do when they truly love there mate.

[emopunk7]

Where is this heroine?