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lindey_calvaro · Apr 22, 2009, 06:09 PM

My boyfriend of one year has been the best boyfriend of my life. He's so sweet caring and understanding, and the only twenty year old boy I've ever met with good morals. We talk about anything and everything and have an extremely open and honest relationship. His family owns a couple of car and rv dealerships and he's soon starting on his way up in the company, which means more money- a lot more money. I've started to notice little things that scare me. He doesn't call me as often as he used to, and when he does he's starting to seem like he's not listening to anything I'm saying. His language is getting awful (which I understand isn't a big deal, guys swear, blah blah blah) and he just seems like he doesn't care about my feelings as much anymore. I'm afraid his attitude is just starting to change, maybe because of the money? And things will only go south from here. It's a hard thing to bring up... what does anyone think? :(

Survivor07 · Apr 22, 2009, 06:33 PM

Lindey_calvaro;1685308] We talk about anything and everything and have an extremely open and honest relationship.

If this is true, then just tell him your concerns.

I'd only be guessing, but maybe he's under a lot more stress now.

The next time you two are alone and relaxed, have the talk. Good communication is a must for any healthy relationship.

I wish · Apr 22, 2009, 06:42 PM

Talk it out with him. Communication is the key. I think it's fair to say that you're worried about him. So why don't you let him know? He's only 20 right? I'm sure his job gives him a lot of pressure. Be understanding, but also talk it out and see what's going on.

jjwoodhull · Apr 22, 2009, 07:01 PM

If he is making a lot more money, then he probably has a lot more responsibility to go along with it. Pressure at work can be very difficult. Are you calling him while he is at work? This is probably a bad idea, because he is unable to give his full attention. Wait until he is off work and have a more meaningful conversation with him.

Relationships often go through changes during your early 20s, because of the life changes that come along at that time. School ends, work starts to get serious, more expectations, less time. Try to be understanding of him.

But if you feel that money might be affecting him - talk to him about it. Just pick the right time and place to do it. If he loves you, he will be concerned about your concerns.

talaniman · Apr 22, 2009, 08:28 PM

He needs your loving, caring, understanding, support as the stress he must be under has to be tremendous.

I think making a relaxing place to be, is your best bet, and I think he will open up on his own, if you are patient enough to give him space, and time.

Sometimes actions are better than words... did I mention understanding??

lindey_calvaro · Apr 22, 2009, 10:17 PM

I guess one of the big issues I have is that we have a sort of semi-long distance relationship. Because we both have hectic work schedules we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. So when he works a bell (12 hour day) it's hard because all I get is about a ten minute vague grumpy phone call. I really look forward to talking to him then I have a short almost one-way conversation. It sucks you know?

Survivor07 · Apr 23, 2009, 04:52 AM

I understand your frustration, but you do need to be understanding.

If you want the relationship to continue and you love him, just be patient.

Long distance is hard but not impossible.

You are a part of his life, but he HAS a life and other responsibilities. You can't always be number one, but when you do have some time off together, make the most of it. Be considerate of the stress he's under and let him know you're there for him.

It doesn't sound like he's intentionally putting you off. Sometimes a relationship can be a real effort and this is one of those times.

Give it some time. You both need to adjust to his new work schedule/stress.