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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #21

    Apr 21, 2009, 07:28 PM

    Ok, guess we all, including me have had our turn at insulting this person, not that they perhaps deserved it,

    But closed before we go too far
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #22

    Apr 22, 2009, 05:35 PM

    Re opened, will keep under review
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #23

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:05 PM

    I wanted to share my thoughts and go all out on this women, but I do not want this thread to be closed.

    If you want to get out of a marriage.. If things are stale.. My guess is you're the one having an affair outside of the marriage and that is why you want to leave, but you do not want to take the blame of it going sour so you will entrap him to make yourself look like an angel, maybe the angel of the devil.

    It is obvious you do not want to work on your marriage, your taking the cowards way out. Either work on it or get out. Very simple. There should be steps to take to save a marriage but your husband is better knowing that you want out right now.

    Make a clean break.. It is very easy to do without breaking the law.

    Best of luck with you and your future affairs...

    Joe
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #24

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:29 PM

    I am not making a personal judgment in any way. What OP has asked is not an unusual request. Women very often hire someone to approach a husband in a bar, act in a provocative fashion, see how he will respond. Nothing the least bit unusual about this request. The problem is that while the wife may very well find out how the husband behaves when she's not around it does not rise to grounds for divorce. If the woman who has been hired actually performs a sexual act with the man (in order to obtain proof of adultery) it is prostitution. Photographs of the couple "in the act" is the stuff of which TV shows are made, not real life.

    Aside from the bargaining chip in the event the husband doesn't want the wife (or the other way around) to tell everything to everyone, adultery means little legally. Judges no longer want to hear it and many States award child support and spousal support on Statute, not on grounds.

    So - while this scenario is partially a TV plot, this is not an unusual request. Not at all.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #25

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I am not making a personal judgment in any way. What OP has asked is not an unusual request. Women very often hire someone to approach a husband in a bar, act in a provocative fashion, see how he will respond. Nothing the least bit unusual about this request. The problem is that while the wife may very well find out how the husband behaves when she's not around it does not rise to grounds for divorce. If the woman who has been hired actually performs a sexual act with the man (in order to obtain proof of adultery) it is prostitution. Photographs of the couple "in the act" is the stuff of which TV shows are made, not real life.

    Aside from the bargaining chip in the event the husband doesn't want the wife (or the other way around) to tell everything to everyone, adultery means little legally. Judges no longer want to hear it and many States award child support and spousal support on Statute, not on grounds.

    So - while this scenario is partially a TV plot, this is not an unusual request. Not at all.
    There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #26

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:37 PM
    [QUOTE=Comments on this post: lighterrr disagrees: woww. I can't count the ways I disagree with this statement and the opQUOTE]



    Please list the ways you disagree with my statement. You gave me the reddie, not the OP, so let's address your questions concerning what I posted.

    You obviously disagree with people ask investigators to do because that's all I posted - the "ins" and "outs" of these investigations. I said loud and clear that I am not making a judgment concerning the request, only addressing that it is not an unusual request.

    I'm an investigator. That's what I do - liability of all sorts, surveillances of all sorts. That's my background, that's my expertise and training. What I posted is my experience. This is how I make a living. This isn't my hobby and this isn't something I've watched on TV.

    You don't agree with my experience, apparently. Please post yours and explain how it is different from mine.

    I notice you also agree that: "There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage."

    Too bad that isn't what the OP asked and what I answered.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #27

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76 View Post
    There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage.

    You do know I am an investigator, right? I am well aware that people hire investigators to prove that their spouse is cheating. I am one of the people who gets hired for that purpose.

    That's not what I was talking about.

    I was talking about setting someone up, which is what the OP asked about. This is not an unusual request.

    I stated right in the beginning that I was not making a moral judgment concerning the OP and her intentions - I answered this as someone who actually does investigations as a career.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #28

    Apr 22, 2009, 06:51 PM

    Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

    I think you both misunderstood.
    lighterrr's Avatar
    lighterrr Posts: 1,415, Reputation: 72
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    #29

    Apr 22, 2009, 07:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

    I think you both misunderstood.
    Ohhh OK. Light bulb moment;) I get it now. Didn't mean to offend anyone. Thanks for clarifying alt:D
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #30

    Apr 23, 2009, 05:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

    I think you both misunderstood.

    Out of greenies - but thanks for stepping in to explain what I posted.

    Hopefully the disagreement with my experience will be explained.

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