[wifey-n-mom]

I've been married for 5 yrs, at the beginning everything was perfect "of course" well after I had my first child everything change. He started doing his own thing (partying, going to bars) but he never cheated for what I know, but I do feel he cheated me into a relationship full of lies. He never told me he was married until the other wife started showing up. That was one lie out of many more he had told me. I had decided to leave him but then I came out pregnant again(have my tubes tied now) so I gave him another chance. But now I don't know if I could forgive him for what he has done in the past. We already been going to marriage counseling and I'm going to a psychiatrist to treat my postpartum but I don't know if I'm still going to be able to hang in their. I've lost all my sexual attraction for him, an I'm a believer of; if there is no good communication and no good sexual lifestyle in a relationship everything is lost. Now that he knows that he took me for granted he has a made a 90 degrees beneficial change, and now I feel lost. I feel like I don't care for him or what he does anymore, but the truth is that I still love him. I think that if I gain my sexual attraction for him again I would be able to overcome the past. So my question is: How can I regain my sexual attraction for my husband again?

[sunflower412]

I know what you are going through. It too has happened to me. If you do love him and you do want things to work out, I would try and setup a little vacation so you and your husband can have some alone time. Get that spark back in your relationship. Try different things. My exhusband and I were married for 10 years. Although I kept hearing from people that he was cheating on me all the time... I was scared to leave him because he was also abusive.. Finally I got the chance to leave him and was happy!! We have two children together. It was hard, but I didn't love him anymore, I was just trapped. For you though because you still love him, I would definitely try a getaway with him. Just the two of you.. go to the beach or a nice little resort. I know its hard to get away this day and age with gas prices and the way the economy is, but try and save up to go away for the weekend. Light candles, just talk. Find out how he feels about you. It sounds to me that all you need from him, is for him to hold you and tell you how much he cares about you, etc... My current fiancé does that all the time, and believe me, when you hear that from the guy you love, it makes your day! A woman loves to hear that, and loves to be held and cuddled. Sorry if I sound like a dork lol, but it is true. I hope things work out for you both. It's hard to trust someone after you have been betrayed. Make him look you in the eye and tell you how he feels. I probably wasn't much help, but I think once you know deep in your heart that he loves you, you will regain that attraction for him. Good luck.