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mentor95 · Apr 19, 2009, 09:46 PM

I'm a married family man and I have someone from my past that claims that I have possibly fathered her child nine years ago. I have information that the female has married and her husband has adopted the child. I don't know if I was ever listed on the birth certificate. I would like to know how to go about getting a paternity test done and what are my legal options regarding this child. I live in New York City and the woman and child live in Florida. Would I have to go to Florida to have this test done?

GV70 · Apr 20, 2009, 02:07 AM

Honestly-I cannot answer you because there is lack of information.
How her husband adopted the child?Is she still married?Have you ever been noticed about the adoption?When it happened/ i.e. adoption,marriage,etc/,what sort of relations are there..?
Without this I doubt that someone will give you a straight answer.

cdad · Apr 20, 2009, 03:11 PM

Also how do you know that you're the potential bio-father of this child ? And when did you first find out ?

mentor95 · Apr 20, 2009, 03:25 PM

After 7 Years the Mother of the child contacted me in 2008 for a medical history of my family because the child became ill. I apparently was told by her a few years ago but she wasn't very specific about her condition and I wasn't to sure if I was indeed the one who got her pregnant. She also stated she was moving on and said she wanted nothing to do with me, However, since then I have found out that she got married and that her husband apparently adopted the child, without further paternity tests or any acknowledgment from me that I was the father. I have no idea what to do next... legally.

ScottGem · Apr 20, 2009, 04:11 PM

What do you want to do? If the bio father did not relinquish his rights, then the adoption may not be legal. On the other hand, you may have no standing to ask for a paternity test.

The only thing you can do is try to get a paternity test. You will probably have to file in Florida so you really should consult an attorney.

Once you know paternity, you can decide what to do next.

mentor95 · Apr 20, 2009, 04:28 PM

I really don't know what I want to do,But I don't think I have to file for a paternity test in Florida, However, How would I not have any standing, if after 9 years it was not proven that I could have fathered this child and this woman has been in contact with my family but has yet to contact me to get any sort of DNA done. The last I heard from her was approximately a couple of years ago for a medical history of my family; but when I asked for us to prove this child was mine, she did not want to do it and to this day she's says no but still claims to anyone that will listen that I AM the father, and she will not say if I am on the Birth Certificate or not..? And another ? I have is, If she got married and this guy has adopted this child and it's later (by chance) proven that I am the father... Will I be monetarily obligated to this child... because I want to do the right thing. But I have a family of my own all these years later..?

ScottGem · Apr 20, 2009, 04:49 PM

The child lives in Florida, therefore you would probably need to file there.

You may not have standing because there is a legal father.

You would not be liable for any back support. But you could be liable for future support.

But nothing further can be done until a paternity test is done, so that is your current priority.

mentor95 · Apr 20, 2009, 05:08 PM

Thank u for very much for your advice and quick response. I want to do the right thing but don't really have a clue, considering that I have my own kids here and I really don't want to disrupt ANYONE's lives in this situation. But I do feel that this woman has done something illegal concerning this so-called adoption because I was never given the opportunity to use my rights, let alone give any up concerning this child.

cdad · Apr 20, 2009, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by mentor95

Thank u for very much for your advice and quick response. I want to do the right thing but don't really have a clue, considering that I have my own kids here and I really don't want to disrupt ANYONE's lives in this situation. But I do feel that this woman has done something illegal concerning this so-called adoption because I was never given the opportunity to use my rights, let alone give any up concerning this child.

Let me try to straighten out a few things for you. You say you were never given the chance but in fact you were. You keep bouncing between wanting to do the right thing and not wanting to get involved.

The fact that you delayed may very well work against you. Like you were advised you should file in Florida court. If you want responsibility its up to you to take it. Get her in court and get a paternity test. Also you may be liable for back child support because you were informed that the child may be yours so it was up to you to act upon it.

You really need to talk with your wife and consider your children and get going one way or another. As of right now your being let off scot free. Time to choose.

{Edit- its SCOT free}

JudyKayTee · Apr 20, 2009, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by mentor95

I really don't know what I want to do,But I don't think I have to file for a paternity test in Florida ... Will I be monetarily obligated to this child.....because I want to do the right thing. But I have a family of my own all these years later.....???

If you already "think" you don't need to file for a paternity test in Florida, why did you ask the question?

The right thing is to support your child. It's not the child's fault that you and the mother don't get along.

This should have been resolved in an adult manner (by DNA testing) years and years ago.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 20, 2009, 05:58 PM

I will agree, problems

1. if you are indeed the father, and they knew how to contact you, the adoption could be contested for fraud issues

2. as long as their is a legal father you can not be held liable.

So someone will have to contest the adoption for you to be held liable for money.

mentor95 · Apr 20, 2009, 06:57 PM

First of all Miss Judykaytee, this all came about just a few days ago... again after a few years, that this woman told me she was moving on and didn't want anything to do with me. She was an internet fling and she had many partners from what I understood that's why I asked. And I ask the questions for sound advice not criticism from somebody that claims to be an expert... of what I don't know. This is something I want to take care of only because there are children involved on both sides and I AM trying and had tried to be the adult when she called a couple of years ago... OK? And she's doesn't want to do the test and she is denying me the DNA test cause she's told my family that. So I've been trying so thanks for the advice or should I say criticism. I appreciate it.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 20, 2009, 07:00 PM

Well mentor when you come here, you open yourself to everyone's opinion, not always the ones you want.

But the issue is, if you want a DNA test, one that is reconised by a court, you do it though the court, she can not deny it if it is ordered by the court

GV70 · Apr 20, 2009, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

1. if you are indeed the father, and they knew how to contact you, the adoption could be contested for fraud issues

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If the bio father did not relinquish his rights, then the adoption may not be legal.

I respectfully disagree.
Many states have "Putative Father Registry",Florida-too. If a putative father did not registered himself there,the child can be adopted legally. There is no need a father to be noticed.

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 05:42 AM

Concerning the putative father registry (and this is pretty interesting reading) it would appear to me that its purpose is to guarantee the father's rights. Any thoughts on a case like this where there was a "maybe" and the father did nothing, now it's become an issue?

I also wonder if the mother lies and says she doesn't know how the father is or never notifies him of the pregnancy (not the case here), then what happens?

(You know how much I admire your research skills - any thoughts?)

JudyKayTee · Apr 21, 2009, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by mentor95

First of all Miss Judykaytee, this all came about just a few days ago....again after a few years, that this woman told me she was moving on and didn't want anything to do with me. She was an internet fling and she had many partners from what I understood that's why I asked. And I ask the questions for sound advice not criticism from somebody that claims to be an expert.....of what I don't know. This is something I want to take care of only because there are children involved on both sides and I AM trying and had tried to be the adult when she called a couple of years ago...OK? and she's doesn't want to do the test and she is denying me the DNA test cause she's told my family that. So I've been trying so thanks for the advice or should I say criticism. I appreciate it.

First, it's MRS Judykaytee. Second, you asked a question and then answered it yourself.

On one hand she's an "internet fling." If she's the fling, I don't know what that makes you. On the other hand she's in contact with your family - most flings don't get that involved. Now she's had "so many partners." Another case of she was fine to have unprotected sex with at the time. Now she's unsuitable.

As far as thanks for the advice/criticism - you think you were adult when you never followed up on the allegation you could be/were the father. I don't agree.

ScottGem · Apr 21, 2009, 05:54 AM

That's great info about the Putative Father Registry. It certainly will help us help other fathers in a similar position.

But its my understanding that an adoption petitioner has to make a good faith effort to get a relinquishment of parental rights from the bio parents. Certainly searching this registry is one part of doing so.

But if the bio parent can prove that the adoptive parent was aware of how to contact them and failed to do so, denying them their right to protest, couldn't the adoption be voided? I didn't see anything that said signing up for the registry was mandatory.

GV70 · Apr 22, 2009, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That's great info about the Putative Father Registry. It certainly will help us help other fathers in a similar position.

But its my understanding that an adoption petitioner has to make a good faith effort to get a relinquishment of parental rights from the bio parents. Certainly searching this registry is one part of doing so.

But if the bio parent can prove that the adoptive parent was aware of how to contact them and failed to do so, denying them their right to protest, couldn't the adoption be voided? I didn't see anything that said signing up for the registry was mandatory.

If a man does not register with the Putative Father Registry before the child's birth or no later than 30 days after the child's birth, the child could be permanently adopted without the putative father's knowledge or consent.

Synnen · Apr 22, 2009, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by GV70

If a man does not register with the Putative Father Registry before the child's birth or no later than 30 days after the child's birth, the child could be permanently adopted without the putative father's knowledge or consent.

This does not seem right to me, for the simple reason that young women LIE all the time about who the father is, or that they do not know the father, simply to have an adoption go through.

If this IS, indeed, truly law, it is a MAJOR setback for birthparents rights in adoption.

GV70 · Apr 22, 2009, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

This does not seem right to me, for the simple reason that young women LIE all the time about who the father is, or that they do not know the father, simply to have an adoption go through.

If this IS, indeed, truly law, it is a MAJOR setback for birthparents rights in adoption.

Synnen,the truth is over there...
Let's remember "Baby Richard" and "Baby Jessica" cases.The law has changed to protect the CHILDREN needs first.The previous legislation allowed some "fathers" to step on the plate 4-10-15 years after adoption was finalized and to remove a child from his/her only known Mom and Dad.