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slackalice3 · Apr 20, 2009, 03:34 AM

Okay here we go will keep this brief! My partner of 14 years broke up with me at the end of jan, he then proceeded to move onto a new girly straight away.. he has recently said to a close friend he regrets moving on so quickly, I was out of touch with him for 2 months, and then he started to contact me with some very relaxed and friendly emails.. don't get me wrong he is still with this other girly, he came to collect some of his stuff twice over the last 2 months and on both occasions.. has said he loves me, misses me, worries about me, thinks about me every day.. we openly hug and peck each other and hold each others hands when he is here, we touch each others skin and there is no repulsion, we have not slept together.. he writes down emotions that he cannot tell his new girly on a computer and passwords them, he loves hearing from me... he recently left for a head space trip to india for 4 months with new girly... and he called the day before he went telling me the
Same stuff and that he looks forward to watching a film together when he gets back, he cannot stand and does not want to handle me being with anyone else ( I am not), he breaks down and crys when we do meet up, he openly states on a bad days he thinks what the F*** have I done, but on a good day can see a future with new girly.. I am moving to a new place, his face lit up so big when I told him where... he says to a mutual girlfriend, that he really likes seeing me, as we are so comfortable together and get on so well, and that is plenty of raw emotion there still, he wants to be in touch whilst in india and says he will be thinking about me.. :confused:
The new girly he is with, is a college student and they have known each other for a while, they got close when her father died... and he has been a rock for her ever since.. really...
His last text to me before he flew to india with her:
Blah blah and being you, live life authentically,beautifully,amazingly, fully. Love, care and compassion always!

NOW YOU TELL ME!! :eek:

liz28 · Apr 20, 2009, 04:26 AM

Leave him alone because he has a girlfriend. Stop allowing him to play with your emotions because if he wanted to be with you then he would be.

It is time for you to let him go and get him out of your life.

Also, on a side note don't make up excuses for your ex regarding him being with his current girlfriend. It seems like he wants to hold on to you as an lifeboat in cases things don't work out with his girlfriend. However, you and him have crossed the lines of being just friends. So cut it out and move forward.

slackalice3 · Apr 20, 2009, 05:02 AM

Hi Liz, in response, to your message, I am not the one being in contact with him, he is the one breaking down on me and saying all this stuff.. it isn't the other way round...
And I am trying to move on believe me, but when your ex is giving out all that stuff it is a little hard, it is good he is in india... hopefully that will make it easier for me :o

liz28 · Apr 20, 2009, 05:34 AM

I never said you was the saying the stuff but it doesn't matter if he is in contact with you. You don't have to listen to what he say because he contact you. So your listening to what he has to say.

Also, you said he doesn't want you with nobody else but he got someone else, why you can't. I wouldn't entertain anything he has to say and I would stop kissing, hugging, and holding hands with him. He would have got his belonging a long time ago.

I hope you heal and stay away from him.

slackalice3 · Apr 20, 2009, 05:46 AM

Hi Liz, thanks... you are right.. but when its what you want to hear you do stand there and listen to it... lets put it this way I didn't want the break up... I think he wants the best of both worlds and I do feel sorry for his new lady.. as I am pretty sure she isn't in the frame on all this communication.
Take Care
:)

Romefalls19 · Apr 20, 2009, 06:54 AM

Break ups are never easy, but removing his way of contacting you will remove all of this confusion out of your life. Simply change your number and those texts don't come in anymore.

talaniman · Apr 20, 2009, 08:17 AM

You are allowing him to keep his foot in the door. Stop all contact with him and get a life without him.

Yes its hard, but either do it or be his emotional puppet, and wait for him to comeback, until he finds another interest to pursue.

You are his option, and seem to be happy with it. If not, do something about it, like disappear from his life and keep your dignity and self respect.

artlady · Apr 20, 2009, 08:26 AM

It is not what someone SAYS that is important as much as what the DO.
He is DOING someone else and you are his comfort zone that he can rely on in case they don't work out.

Is it normal for him to have feelings for you after 14 yrs? Of course but the bottom line is he is with her and not you.
He has the ability to choose.He is choosing her.

I think he is taking huge advantage of your feelings any playing on your history together to manipulate you.