[iloverey]

Im losing it... I'm twenty years old I was with my boyfriend for over 4 years our daughter turns six months tomorrrow and he died in a car wreck last night... and I keep looking for him. And calling leaving voicemails. I saw the secene the blood all of it. I need advice that is better than what I'm getting. He was the love of my life. I need him and our daughter needs him, what happens to his soul? I'm looking for an answer, that I don't think exsist. I just which I could talk to someone who is going threw exactly what I am... I'm sooo you and so was here and so is are daughter now I have this whole life a head of me... that I don't even want to live. We were leaving for his sisters wedding in five days and were going to take the baby to the beach there for her first time... I can't gooo.. ill cry the whole time... how can I be strong and what can I do to make myself feel sane.. and what I tell my daughter she was suppose to be daddys little girl. I don't feel like I can go on. Or sleep or eat. Or think I don't even no what's my purpose in life.

[nikosmom]

It's natural to feel this way after losing your mate. You have to allow yourself to grieve. It's OK to cry. Sob if you need to. Look to your family, his family, and close friends for strength and comfort. I don't know if you are a religious person but our faith can help us through tough times.

You can not convince yourself that you can't live. Cry, shout if you need to but you must continue to live. For your daughter. She needs you; now more than ever.

I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it will get better with each day that passes. The hurt may not ever go away but each day you will get stronger and more equipped to deal with it.

I suggest you try to do at least some of the things you planned. That will help you maintain some sort of normalcy in your life and begin to pick up the pieces. If you don't go next week as planned, at least try to take your daughter to the beach by the end of the summer.

Be sure to keep his memory alive for your daughter. When she's a little older, tell her about him and show her his pictures. Tell her what a great man he was and how she has his eyes. She will appreciate 'knowing' her father through you.

Find someone you can talk to, a pastor, community elder, parent or someone that can be a pillar through the grief stages. You wll need the support and don't be afraid to ask for help dealing with this.

[JudyKayTee]

Everyone grieves in a different time frame, in a different way. When my husband first died I couldn't go anywhere we hadn't been together. I just froze. After a while I couldn't go anywhere where we HAD been together because I saw him in every corner. Yes, it's difficult. Sometimes it's hard to put one foot in front of the other. In some ways you are fortunate to have his child. You have a reason to go on.

You have to find what works for you - keep the plans your made - or don't. Whatever works today may very well not work tomorrow.

It varies from person to person.

I'm so sorry for your loss -

[redhed35]

Breathe in,breathe out.

Hold your child.

Don't think about next week,next week will come if you worry or not.

Sometimes we endure such pain,that the only thing we can do is breathe.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Fr_Chuck]

Cry a lot for the next month, and remember you have to be there for your child, Your boyfriend is alive in your daughter, she is part of you and him both.

So he will live in her and you're your memories.

I still "talk" to my 2 wives that have passed away, I can't travel to their graves much any more, but I often sit out on the step at night and share with them.

[JudyKayTee]

My husband said while his ears could no longer hear me, his heart always would.

I talk to him all the time.