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luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 09:48 AM

I have a friend who has a 3 year old little boy. He has become a big part of our lives and We have come to love him as our own. We have him for weeks at a time and when he does go home it is only for a week or so before his mom calls us to pick him up again. There is not a father in the picture. I don't think she knows where he is. But he has not ever been around. We have become his family. He even calls me mom. We tried to tell him to call me by name but he says "no, mom." He is just beginning to talk and that is only because he has been spending so much time with us and I try to work with him as much as possible. He has his own bed, clothes and toys here with us. He really loves being with us. His maternal aunt says she sees how happy he is when he is with us. We have bought clothes and also gotten some from a family member who has a child his age and sent them home with him but when I pick him up he is in clothes that are dirty, too small or completely worn down. He has only once been in decent clothes. I love having him here with us not only because we love him but we know he is well taken care of, however the back and forth is not good for him. He needs stability and I know I need to take action on his behalf. We have suggested signing over her rights to us and she has thought about it. Can she do that legally and if so what is the process.

JudyKayTee · Apr 19, 2009, 10:46 AM

You could become legal guardians. As far as adoption is concerned (if that is what you are thinking) you could have a problem if there are other family members who do not want to see this happen.

luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You could become legal guardians. As far as adoption is concerned (if that is what you are thinking) you could have a problem if there are other family members who do not want to see this happen.

He has no other family that would stand in the way. Maternal grandmother has had her own children taken away and as I stated maternal aunt sees that he is better off with us. Both grandmother and aunt support what is in his best interest. What would be the process of at least obtaining legal guardianship so that I can a least enroll him in school and things if that sort?

JudyKayTee · Apr 19, 2009, 11:16 AM

I would not attempt this without an Attorney - you want to make certain the mother understands where her "rights" end and yours begin. It's a relatively easy practice.

(This is not a blog but an advice site BUT hats off to you for making this child's life better.)

luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I would not attempt this without an Attorney - you want to make certain the mother understands where her "rights" end and yours begin. It's a relatively easy practice.

(This is not a blog but an advice site BUT hats off to you for making this child's life better.)

Advice is exactly what I am seeking. I want both she and I to have a FULL understanding of what is involved in this process, the steps needed to be taken and our rights as a result. I just am not sure where to begin. I am trying to find out what the first step I need to take is.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2009, 11:35 AM

But there is a father, he will have to be found and have him sign his rights over also. If you don't, the adoption would always be subject to being over turned

luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

But there is a father, he will have to be found and have him sign his rights over also. If you don't, the adoption would always be subject to being over turned

Would he need to be contacted for me to just become the legal guardian?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2009, 11:56 AM

He can always come in and claim his right as the bio father, since once the mother signs over her rights, he would still have his.

So while you can be guardian, he could come in, get a court order easy and take the child

luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

He can always come in and claim his right as the bio father, since once the mother signs over her rights, he would still have his.

So while you can be guardian, he could come in, get a court order easy and take the child

Do you know where we begin?

JudyKayTee · Apr 19, 2009, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by luv2Bmom

Advice is exactly what I am seeking. I want both she and I to have a FULL understanding of what is involved in this process, the steps needed to be taken and our rights as a result. I just am not sure where to begin. i am trying to find out what the first step I need to take is.

Your first step - as I said - is to contact an Attorney to make sure all of the appropriate parties have been notified, are in agreement, understand EXACTLY what their rights are.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2009, 12:18 PM

Yes an attorney who does this, the laws are very specific, in how to hunt for the bio father if he can not be found, some courts are even specific as to the fonts of motions and filings at times. ** unusual but have heard of it.

The trouble here is one missed step, in a hearing can leave room for a objection years latter.

luv2Bmom · Apr 19, 2009, 01:17 PM

Thank you for your help.