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aaamez · Apr 18, 2009, 06:31 AM

Salaam you alaikum everybody,

I am a girl aged 23 yrs old, I got a proposal of marriage from a boy, who is well seteled in London, but the only problem is that he is pakistani and I am an indian, my father is not agreeing to it, what should I do , since my dad becomes aggressive... I really want to get married to him.

Jake2008 · Apr 18, 2009, 06:44 AM

You are probably under a lot of pressure from your family not to marry him.

Should you decide to go and get married regardless of your families wishes, what do you anticipate the consequences to be, and can you live with them.

And, what of his family, what do they think of their son marrying you.

You didn't say where you were, are you in London also?

There have been many couples who have had successful marriages, despite differences in faith, upbringing, social status, and origins of birth.

Do both of you have citizenship in the UK? A little more information would be helpful.

aaamez · Apr 18, 2009, 06:49 AM

Well, am a muslim gal, based in dubai... I hail from a very backword narrow minded family and background... I have no idea... wot to do... my parents in my case becomes too religious... n emotionally blackmails me to get married to an uneducated and not earning person... which I can not agree to... because I am an educated girl who wants and educated partner... I am just losing hope in evrything... :(

Jake2008 · Apr 18, 2009, 07:01 AM

Yes, these conflicts with the old world, and the new world, collide. On the one hand you are educated and more worldly than previous generations, yet, that very education that has given you awareness and options is now setting you back.

You are between a rock and a hard place so to speak.

I understand the pressures of pre-arranged marriages done by families. It is something that a friend of mine had years of stress over. In his case, he too was well educated and eventually came to the states to avoid being pressured into marrying someone he did not love.

If it gets right down to it, you may have to make a choice between him, and your family. There are no guarantees that they will come around, or that your beloved will ever be accepted.

Only you can decide what you want to do. I really don't envy you, it's a miserable position to be in. If only your parents could be happy that you have found love, but that isn't likely to happen.

aaamez · Apr 18, 2009, 07:11 AM

I know, your rite , but another problem that comes up is that I am totally dependent on them, both financially and menatlly and here in dubai you don't get to do things with out your parents choice, so I have no hope, and these religious issues that they bring up makes me more insane... ur friend woz a guy he could do so many things, but as in my case m a girl, who just goes to university and with no job and no good frenz who can help me out.