[Couchcarrot]

A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator. On their way down, a handsome man entered.
The girls immediately noticed that he was pretty cute, but unfortunately he had dandruff.
On the way off the elevator the two girls let the man go ahead of them. The brunette turned to the blonde
And said: "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders."
"That's a pretty good idea," the blonde replied, "but how are we going to give him shoulders?"
­­­­­­­­­_________________________________________ _______________________________________
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said,
"Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
__________________________________________________ ________________________________
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on.
There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twenty minutes, she'll be sixteen."

[HelpinHere]

1: *snicker*
2: haha, cheaters these days
3: That's SOO wrong, :P