[sttran312]

Hello guys,

Basically, the background of this story is that my ex-girlfriend Erinne dumped me about 7 months ago last August. We've dated each other for 2 years and have known each other for a total of 4 years. I am a junior in college currently graduating in one more year and she is a sophomore graduating in 3 more years.

About 5 months ago around October, Erinne started liking my ex-friend named Matt. He basically kissed her one night even though he had a girlfriend at the time and even talked her into spending the night at his apartment. He basically played her and knows it. She felt really bad about it and told me that she still really liked me and could only think about me. I forgave her and tried to move on.

Up until about the event listed above and a few weeks ago, I seriously thought that we were finally beginning to work things out and would eventually get back together. Erinne would say that she loved me and that she was ready to live with me next year and that she did not like Matt except in a friend way. She also made me a really nice Valentine's Day gift last month that contained a note on how much she really truly loved me and how I would be the only one that she ever would. Also, around January, Matt broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years.

Flash forward to abou 2 weeks ago. I saw Matt in Erinne's dorm room and I confronted her about it and told her that either I had to leave or he had to leave and we decided to not talk for a week even though she broke down and called after about 3 days and I stupidly called her back. After the week was over, I met up with her which was about 5 days ago and we got into an argument. Actually, she did most of the yelling and said that she really hated me and that it was my fault that we broke up originally and even pushed me a few times (I'm bigger than her so it didn't hurt or anything).

2 days after our argument, I found out that Erinne was starting to sleep at Matt's place constantly again and some of my college friends even already saw them kissing. I basically cracked down after finding this out and even chipped a bone in my knuckle when I punched concrete out of frustration. 3 days after the argument, I told Erinne through a friend I wanted the rest of my stuff back. 4 days after the argument, she finally gave me back all my stuff like my clothes. During this time, she refused to give me back some of my stuff until she could see me again and apologize for what she said to me during the argument.

When she started talking to me, I basically grew angry at her because she told me that I had to stay away from her friends on her dorm floor but they're also my friends because I go to the gym with them and stuff and I found it unfair that she could start dating Matt who was my ex-friend. Also, she wanted me to sit down so she could leave me and walk away from me. I told her that I would not because I wouldn't satisfy her ego. Did I do the right thing?

After I got all my stuff back, I talked to one of my mutual friends and she told me that Erinne told her that she was not sleeping over at Matt's and started being rude to me. I know Erinne was sleeping over there because I actually saw her over at Matt's place and two of my friend's also saw it.

I don't know what to do now because I'm crying every single night and I break down at the most random times. My grades have gone down and I've even felt like crying during class. Erinne was my first love and we were each other's first at everything. I know Matt's agenda is to just get into her pants and it really bugs me everyday. I like to think I hate Erinne with every part of my body but my emotions says otherwise. I don't understand why she lied to me about her feelings towards Matt and why she would throw a 4 year relationship down the drain. I know that I'm better off without her but I felt like I was screwed for so long and I don't know how to get myself back together. Last year was very different because we were a lot closer and was discussing about getting married. Does Erinne still love me and why would she do such low things as lying and hurting me. It hurts me a lot every day especially at night considering we used to sleep together. How do I make it stop? Please tell me your opinions about the situation and what I should do now... I also have been in a relationship for most of college so I don't even know how to meet college girls now and I only have a year of college left. Please help!

Also, I don't understand how Matt always gets girls to talk to him because he is a big liar and a huge a$$hole. I'll admit that he is funny but he treats guys like crap and girls better. Do girls honestly fall for this. Is it time for me to change myself to compete also. I'm struggling with myself because I really think that all the girls I find attractive seem to like the bad guys. What do I do? I've always respected girls.

Update: It's been about 2 weeks now since we last talked. I hung out with one of her best friends and she says that Erinne misses me a lot. Will Erinne come back to me eventually? I keep hoping but is it time to let go? Please Help me!

[liz28]

It is time to let go and move on. Why do you want to be with someone that treats you like crap?

She made her bed and she wants to fall in the trap of your friend then let her. Some people have to learn the hard way.

But you no longer should be concern with her feelings and should just move forward not backwards. Heal yourself and let her go.

[talaniman]

What do I do? I've always respected girls.

Then respect yourself, and let this one go, good riddance.

[itried]

Cheating Ex-girlfriend. Do I still have a chance?----I can't believe the title of this thread!!

Yeah, you do. And so does every other guy in your dorm!

Get rid of this loser. If you "respect women" so much that you allow this to happen you'll be a doormat for the rest of your life. Grow a pair and let her get used and abused by Matt. When she finally comes crawling back to you, tell her to get lost. You can dodge a bullet or allow it to hit you. The choice is yours. College campuses are full of smart, sexy and good girls. Find one and don't look back.

[sttran312]

I know I should but I'm still in love with her with everything I've got. It hurts me every single waking moment:-(

[liz28]

You need to work on healing yourself instead of wanting to throw yourself back into the fire.

Stop focusing on who she is screwing and what's she is doing. Focus on yourself. Get rid of everything that reminds her of you. Start hanging out with friends. Take a day at a time. When thoughts of her creep into your mind, think of something else.

I know your hurting but you really, really have to let go and be happy that it's over. In a few months from now you going be saying "I can't believe I was stuck on her" .

[sttran312]

Yes, I agree with you Liz28. It's just hard because I was about to propose to her this year after my junior year... We've talked about marriage and all that. I just really wonder if she misses me and what she sees in Matt...