[rayncoffee]

Ok I have no clue how to go about asking this cause once I put it out there I can't take it back so here goes.. I might not be able to have children. And a friend of mine just had a baby, well she told all of us that she was having twins. Well she gave birth and only one survived. Now a few days later some of us were trying to find a picture on the hospitals website ans there is no mention of the baby that didn't survive. So we tried our local paper and there wasn't anything in there either. And now that I think of it we never saw her sonagrams, where as we have seen our other friends sonagrams from the very beginning. I know I'm a terrible person for even thinking this but I'm worried not only for her but for everyone else that is going out of their way to help her when it could very well not be true. What should I do, I'm completely confused and heart broken that I may not have children and some one I know could be lying about theirs. I hope I'm wrong but I have this werid feeling. Maybe its guilt for thinking like this. Please help me. Sincerely, heartbroken

[JoeCanada76]

Just because there is no information from the hospital or newspaper does not mean there was not a loss.

I know you feel bad thinking about it, but everybody has thoughts and questions about different situations and for some reason it does not sit well with you.

At the same time, if they truly did suffer a loss of a twin, that is a very private matter.

I do not know what kind of help your friend is asking for but please focus on the baby she does have. It is important she get support from her friends in any case.

Please stay out of it, I know that you might not be able to have children... Maybe there is a little bit of jealousy here that your friend can have children. Whether you can or not has nothing to do with your friend.

Take care of yourself.

Joe

[nikosmom]

I agree with JH76 but I would also just suggest that you just focus on being a good friend. She probably still needs you because she has a newborn to care for.

Just because she didn't show you her sonogram doesn't mean anything; a lot of women don't go around showing them to people. Why would you think she lied?

As far as the info being available to you; why would it be? There's a problem if a hospital gives out a patient's medical history. As for the newspaper, not everyone decides to list an obituary for an infant that didn't make it out of the hospital to ever go home. If it's true that the second twin didn't survive it's very likely that she's not going to want to talk about it.

Just be a friend and don't let your jealousy get in the way of you being there for her.

[0rphan]

Hi...

I think you have to support your friend right now and help her with the new baby.
It could be that it is to painful to talk about or she could have just wipe it from her mind temporarily, in which case when it resurfaces she will need your support.

If the whole twin thing was shall we say... a wishful imagination... then I am totally convinced that when she gets on her feet she will take you into her confidence and tell you the whole story... the whys and the wherefores... until that time you must stay quiet until she is ready.

There is always the possibility that she has blocked it from her mind involuntarily, which has been known to happen,so give her the benefit of the doubt and I'm certain that the story will become clear.

[redhed35]

She could very well have been pregnant on twins and one died in utero a while before the other was born,it's a mixed bag of emotions when you have baby,give her time,help with the baby if you can,and IF she wants to talk about it,be there,and be a friend.