[essentialoil]

I wrote in August asking for help with my deppressed boyfriend and I got some good advice but thngs still areen't working right.
I want to know if I'm crazy for wanting one morning a week when we're not together so I can sort things out in my head and continue functing. Because every time I expre an intrested in something that isn't him he lose's it and storms off. There are times when he says he understands and then when I do it even if he's invited he finds an excuse to leave today it was telling me to 'get some respect'
I love him but he's pulling us apart... he's also gone off and isn't answering his phone! I'm at my wits end :confused:

[Krs]

Hi there, yes I just read through your other thread.

Is your boyfriend still on anti-depressants? If so how long has it been?

Also you still living with parents?

[essentialoil]

Yes he's dosage has been upped and he's been on them for just about 3 weeks. We are still with parents. But it's catch 22 we can't move out until this is sorted. My parents are trying to help. I feel I'm the problem

[Krs]

Why do u feel you're the problem?

Is he seeking professional counseling?

[essentialoil]

He keeps telling me when he's down that it's me even though I know that's not the case I'm not perfect but I'm not out to hurt him. When he's OK he's reasonable and can see what he's doing is affecting both of us badly. But there's only so much of being told your a problem I can withstand before I start beliving him.

His doctor has referred him to a cogitive thearpist but we've yet to hear back and the waiting list can be as long as 2 years.

[kp2171]

You aren't the problem.

You are being patient. You care about him, and you deserve to be told "good job" in trying to help him through this.

You should not feel guilty needing your own time. Period. I have a fantastic relationship with my wife, and we both need some time alone now and then. I want her to take a minivacation to the beach by herself soon... she's had a lot to deal with and some recharge time will be needed. She gives me what she call "caveman time", where shell go away for most of a day or out of town to see a friend from time to time, to let me putter in the garage or veg in from of a game without anyone else around.

What you want is OK. Don't blame yourself. Being tactful and courteous is good, of course. You've been both, it seems.

While I think its good to be thoughtful of him and his condition, I would not completely change yourself for this person. Don't cut out your friendships and wrap your life around making him better. What happens when he's "better" but expects you to still be wrapped around his needs?

I think you need to still be your own self. If that means some space, then fine. If he cannot deal with that, it isn't your fault. You can help him, but don't try to save him at all cost. You still need to take care of yourself first.

[essentialoil]

Thank you I just wish I knew where he was!. my brain hurts :confused:

[essentialoil]

He just rung tosay he was safe but wouldn't tell me where he was. He sounded strange. I'm torn between worring and resignation!

[Krs]

You are a very strong person.