[smurfles]

My boyfriend of 18 months left me for someone else, saying he loved her more than me. It was hard for me to accpet this but eventually I managed to cut him out and get on with my life. However, while he was with the woman he left me for, every couple of months he asked me to send him revealing pictures of myself, each time I declined knowing it would hurt the woman he was with.

He broke up with this woman 4 months ago, and at that time, he asked if he could see me, I needed someone to talk to so I agreed and ended up sleeping with him. Since then, we've been having no strings sex, but now, I have developed old feelings for him despite everything. I told him this and he said he never thought about it like that, but he said he would have gone out with me again if it wasn't for the fear of my family. He says he wants to remain single until he eventually settles down, but he says, apparently, I'm the only one he wants to see. This gives me no guarantee of what'll happen. I want him, but I want to be loved not used.

What do I do? Do I wait for uncertainty?

[talaniman]

You stop letting him use you. That's the obvious answer. Its also obvious that you used the excuse of needing someone to talk to, as an excuse to let him back into your life, and you see the results.

Why on earth would you even consider being with him, when he has done nothing but dirt to you, and deceived you into being his booty call??

You are condoning his bad behavior by going along with it. That has to stop.

[starlite1]

Hi Smurfles,

First off, why does he fear your family? Second, you really do not need to going through this emotional roller coaster. He left you for someone else, you moved on, he comes back for sex (or so it seems) but can't be your boyfriend. No honey, I don't see this as a good thing. You deserve so much more. You deserve a man who wants to have a full relationship with you, not a sexual convenience. I wouldn't wait, I would move on without him, and eventually you will be with the right guy.

[Dare81]

So he leaves you for someone else, and then he gets booty calls? What exactly are you getting out of this? Semms like he is getting everything he wants

[nikosmom]

No you don't continue to wait. What would you be waiting for exactly? Do you really think he's going to suddenly have an epiphany one day and figure out that you're "the one"? Doubtful.

You move on and live your life. Stop answering his calls/texts and remove yourself from this situation.

The fact that you said he's afraid to be around your family says that he knows they'd see right through him. And so do we.

He left you for someone else. And now he's calling you again using you for sex. He has no scruples. Do you really want to give him the chance to do it all over again?

[I wish]

No excuse that he gives you, for not wanting to get back together, should be good enough for you. How can you trust this guy? He left you for another person. So how do you know he will not do it again.

Sounds like he's just keeping you around for sex and no commitment, until he finds the one he wants to be with. Perfect arrangement for him, worst arrangement for you.

He gets sex without having to worry about relationship stuff. You get false hope only to get hurt once he finds the person he's looking for.

Move on...

[Romefalls19]

Stop spreading your legs, then you will find out his true intentions. Stop waiting around for him to come around, make things happen for yourself. You don't need him or anyone else to make you feel happy. Do it for yourself.

[redhed35]

Kick this guy to the curb! Delete him from your life.

Unless of course you want to end up emotionally crippled,mentally tortured,and someone's booty call.

(I concur with all of the above,I just have not figured out how to put all the little bits in.. im only a little fetus on this site)

[Survivor07]

I agree with all the others.

He wants to make sure he has a sex partner. That's it.

Then when he finds the woman with whom he wants the relationship, it will be bye, bye to you.

Cut him off. Never look back. Do better for yourself.

[ylaira]

Does This Make You A "Bootie Call"? Hell, yes! Now that what you think is right because everybody says so, what are you going to now?

[NyCandy]

He sounds like he's needy. Maybe you're his mental security? Well besides the booty call part :(

[liz28]

He wants a no strings relationship but you don't.

However you agreed to enter into this no strings relationship just to keep him and hopes somewhere down the line he changes his mind.

Well, not to be harsh, but more than likely he won't. Your just setting yourself up for more emotional hurt than you already have.

You should stop while your ahead and let get over your addiction--this guy. Stop wanting what your once had because even when you had him he was no good. You deserve better and there is more to you than allowing someone to just bed you.

Move on and let go!

[chuff]

No wonder your family hates him.

[letmetellu]

Not only are you his booty call this activity will make it very for you to become other guys booty call in the future. Once that happens you will loose all self respect for yourself. So try your hardest to stop it now, and instead of being a booty call find you a guy that you can fall in love with and he can love you, get married and have a family, I think it will give you a real reason in life.

[Alty]

This guy is good.

He leaves you, dates someone else, then, when he is single again he calls you for sex and has you pretty much dangling on the end of a hook hoping that he'll come around. Wow!

It's time for some self respect. If you just want sex, then stay and enjoy yourself, if you want more you'll have to find someone who's willing to give that to you. It's not going to be him.

[smurfles]

I understand what has to happen, thanks for all your help, much appreciated.