[___teeny]

Hi, I've just recently turned twenty years old and very sexually active since the age of 17 (had sex with the same guy ever since). My last period began JULY 7th (yes, it's been a while) and ended JULY 9. my period only lasts for three days then my period comes after 26 days, but I haven't had it ever since (JULY 7 - JULY 9). I'm getting worried that something is wrong with me. I haven't gone to a doctor because I'm scared of what the results will be. My parents don't know that I'm no longer a virgin and I'm scared that they might find out if I do go to a doctor to get myself checked out. Cause even if I did go to my doctor, she knows my mom. So, what she knows, she'll probably tell my mom. Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex we always use protection (condom). There are times that we don't use one, but that would be only for foreplay then after a couple minutes he'd put one on (a condom), but we rarely have intercourse WITHOUT one (in other words.. we ALWAYS use a condom).

my regular cycle consists of:
Cramping the week before my period comes.
Then following a headache usually a day later.
Then my period comes which lasts three (3) days long.
Then the whole cycle starts over after 26 days or so.

The week that I was 'supposed' to get my period (being AUGUST 4th-7th), my grandmother passed away [july 24th]. So I don't know if that really affected my cycle, as in stress-wise. Then AUGUST 1st my family and I went on vacation out of the country for 3 weeks, plane ride was a total of 15 hours with 2 stop overs (longgg flight). My boyfriend said that flying causes stress and so does a family's death, so I really don't know what happened to my cycle. I guess it all just added up. But then 3 days after we arrived, I got a fever for about 3 days long. My whole body ached and hardly ate anything for those 3 days. I went to a neighborhood doctor and she said that it was probably because of the temperature change, but she gave me a prescription to get a UTI test to see if anything was wrong with my urinary flow. But the day we went to see that doctor my fever was already gone (that morning). So I decided not to get one (a UTI test) because I was scared to find out what was wrong with me and because I didn't know what a UTI tests for.. I was scared that my mom might find out that I WAS in fact having sex and I didn't want her to be disappointed with me.

The last couple days I've been cramping, so hopefully my period arrives this week! *crosses fingers*

My sister had to wait 2 months until her next period came, then after that her cycle was back to normal.
I don't know if my 'problem' is the same as hers, but is it possible to skip a cycle and get it back to normal? Or maybe I have a UTI? I'm not too sure is there a way for me to find out without going to see a doctor? Or some other way I can find more about my 'problem'. I've also been having urges to urinate a lot. I'd go to the bathroom to urinate but there are times when I go that very little urine comes out of it. Is that normal? Or am I just putting all this out of proportion?

last period (JULY 7th-9th).
death in family (JULY 24th).
out of the country vacation 3 weeks long (AUGUST 1st).
3 day fever (AUGUST 6th-9th).
days my period shouldv'e arrived through (AUGUST 4th-7th).
arrived back here (AUGUST 22nd), still no period ever since.

When I came back my boyfriend and I had sex that morning, but during foreplay there was watery blood (usually I get my period hours later or the next day, but it NEVER came!). The next time I had a watery flow of blood was weeks ago but it wasn't as much as I usually get, it was very light. I found it very strange that it was light as in not a lot. And my period never came!

I know I wrote a lot of things that I repeated so many times, but I was just nervous typing everything and getting every single detail written. So I apologize for being redundant.
I hope someone can help me! Thank you in advance. :)

[J_9]

UTI test is to test a urinary tract infection. That means an infection in the bladder that doesn't really have anything to do with having sex.

Now, I hate to say it but you probably should go to the doctor. A condom is not foolproof, there is a possibility you are pregnant.

Stress can cause these symptoms, so that is a possibility.

If you are afraid your Mom will find out you are having sex, then the best thing is not to have sex. Especially if you are not ready for a child. There is no 100% effective method of birth control except abstinence.

Try a local clinic for a pregnancy test. And the doctor is NOT ALLOWED to tell anyone that you were there visiting. It is against the law. That is what is called doctor/patient privilege.

[starryeyed]

After going to the doctor and checking if you're pregnant, perhaps consider going on the pill to help to regulate your cycle... I guess combining this with condom use would also help to prevent pregnancy - but like J9 said, nothing is foolproof... And I wouldn't use the pill as contraception alone if getting pregnant would be a drastically terrible thing - it also doesn't protect against stds and hiv... But it might help get your cycle predictable...

[ScottGem]

At 20, even if you live at home, you really shouldn't be concerned about your parents knowing you aren't a virgin. From what you have said, you have been with one boy in a steady relationship. I would be very surprised if your parents haven't assumed you were sexually active with him.

That being said, you can go to any drug store and get a home pregnancy test. If you live in a very small town, then go outside the town. As others have said, no contraception is 100% so you NEED to confirm or eliminate pregnancy as a possibility.

Also, at 20, you should be able to see your doctor without your parents knowing the details. Your doctor is responsible to you, not your parents. You should be able to discuss anything with your doctor in confidence.

The important thing is to NOT delay.

[K_3]

You did not say if your are going to college or working. If you do not have the money there should be a health department that will help you with the female questions.

[JoeCanada76]

First of all your twenty years old. Who really cares what your mother thinks about you having sex. Your 20 years old. It is possible you are pregnant but you do not know unless you get checked out by a doctor. Doctor/ patient relationship is private. Does not matter whether the doctor knows your mother or not. Your 20 years old and you are an adult. An adult makes decisions for themselves. Whether it is good or bad. It is you that is responsible for your decisions and the consequences that come with it.

[J_9]

Although we do have to try to understand cultural differences, and we do not know where you are and what your culture dictates. Some cultures believe that it is TABOO to have sex prior to marriage.

I agree with everyone in that it is time to get a pregnancy test.

If it is not a "good" time for you to become pregnant culturally, mentally or physically, then you should be abstaining from sex. It does not matter what form of birth control you use, it is NEVER 100% effective. Ask, KP, he has a child born while on birth control, my two oldest were products of "failure" of birth control. Although I took my pill religiously everyday at the same time, I became pregnant.

I don't mean to preach here, but there are way too many unwanted and/or neglected babies as there is. So, that said, if you are not ready to handle the consequences of your actions, it is time to re-think your major plan in life.

[starryeyed]

I totally agree with J9 - there's no 100% safe method of birth c ontrol - and there is always a chance of pregnancy... That said, from my experience, I'm not certain that anyone who has been having sex for years would just stop... I mean they might 'stop' theoretically - but the likelihood of slipping up when you're that age, with a boyfriend you've already been sleeping with for a long time... well... then I think it's helpful to have as many barriers to pregnancy and stds as possible...

[J_9]

I agree that to stop at this point is almost impossible, however, I was trying to make a point more than suggesting to stop all together.

If a person is not mature enough to handle the possible consequences of sex, either mentally, physically or emotionally, they should not be having sex in the first place.

[starryeyed]

If a person is not mature enough to handle the possible consequences of sex, either mentally, physically or emotionally, they should not be having sex in the first place.

Good point... As usual J_9! :)

[Presleygall85]

I would look into getting a pregnancy test just so that you can know for sure whether or not you are pregnant.. because you are just stressing yourself out more by not knowing and wondering about it constantly! If you come up positive and are pregnant, you have options. Not good options but they are there! Figure out what YOU want and stop worrying about what your mom will say. You never know what her reaction will be.. example;
My boyfriends brother's girlfriend is pregnant 2 months now and her parents are STRICT catholics I mean strict! She finally got up the nerve to tell them she was expecting and that she knew that this was dissapointing but she was going to keep the baby and she would need all the help she can get.. well to make a long story short her parents just hugged her and said they were there for her! So you never know she was so shocked she cried! So do what you need to do to help you sleep at night! Good Luck I hope it all turns out the way you want :)