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Xflipx · Apr 6, 2009, 11:47 AM

Well we have been texting all afternoon, just fun cordial questions and comments. But I am still getting no substance out of her, I was thinking about seeing if she would like to get a drink after work, but I don't know if I should talk about the relationship or just keep things cordial.

Still need answers on my previous post too. Just starting to get this back together and could really use the advice.

Flip

160fet · Apr 6, 2009, 02:05 PM

Be careful. Don't get excited yet.

Step back and make a plan. All this "cordial, no-substance" texting from you isn't doing you any favors. You're clinging onto every word looking for affirmation. This will cripple you. In the meantime, you appear needy and desperate to her.

Let things sit for a while. If you get a text from her, don't respond right away. Keep busy with yourself. Get back to her tomorrow or later.

She may be communicating with you out of guilt, that she feels bad that she's blowing you off or is dumping you.

Maybe at some point this week or next call her and say you'd like to meet for dinner or something and TAKE IT SLOWLY. Take control of this situation instead of giving it right back to her.

Xflipx · Apr 6, 2009, 02:58 PM

Yeah, because I mentioned drinks after work for a minute and I haven't heard back for over two hours. So I should just go back to no contact? This is driving me nuts... talking to me, tells me she loves me yesterday, calls me about her son and it just happens to be the day after I have a blast out with my friends.

I am thinking about confronting her tonight and either settling where I stand or getting her on and out of my life. I am soooo pissed right now.

Please advise people.

Flip

talaniman · Apr 6, 2009, 04:08 PM

Whenever your ready to make your own decisions, and stand up for yourself, the option is open to you.

Xflipx · Apr 7, 2009, 05:57 AM

Well, it is over. Trust is a huge thing, and when you tell someone that you are coming over to talk and they continue to make excuses of why they can't it makes it hard to have a relationship. I did what I could to be patient over the past few weeks with her silence, but in the last week it was something that I found I could not and will not have in a relationship. This woman is good hearted, but broken and I can do much better. In the end we have to do what we can for ourselves first.

Heart break is a only bad if you perceive yourself as an option, and I do not. In the end things will be fine, I don't have the baggage she has (a kid, bad job, lives with parents, and no education beyond HS), I have been batting the idea around with an old college roommate of mine to move to GA for a few months now, and I think it is time I do that.

Thanks for the advice, but silence is just a game, and the no contact thing is just a game, and frankly I don't have the time to waste on someone with that lack of confidence.

Flip