[joejoe1987]

Hey everyone,
This is the first time doing this but I'm so desperate for peoples opinions. I can't think, eat, sleep. Im so depressed it hurts like hell. But here's the story.

So I started hanging out with this group of people that I got introduced to by a good friend. This group though have all known each other for so many years. We're all in college and we're all internationals. I really fit in and get along very well with everyone. They called me every time they went out etc. I especially got well along with one of the girls. After a month we hook up. Drama starts because her ex boyfriend is one for the guys in the group that I got along well with. He accuses me of backstabbing him and ing up. He gives her the cold shoulder and just disappears. Initially I force her to see him since I feel sorry for him. ( I was misinformed about his feelings, I don't go for friends ex gf's ) Since they dated for 3 years, I felt really bad for the guy since I really had no clue he still loved her. Annyways, I was really chill about her seeing him and she appreciated that. I used to even force her sometimes since I really felt bad for the guy. She liked me so much for this. He starts insulting me though and telling people he was going to beat me up. I ignore it all and I assure her he's just angry and stuff. I joke about it too. All of this being sincere on my behalf. Not trying to act cool or anything, just taking it as a joke. She loved how I never put any pressure on her. As time goes by I start to really like her. Even love her. I never tell her this of course. Just occasionally that I like her since she's really not the sensitive type. However as I like her more, I begin to pressure her. I begin to get pissed off and jealous when she picks her boyfriend and his friends to hang out over me. I never got angry at the start and I never cared, however it reached the stage where every small thing got me jealous and burning. I was becoming someone else and she noticed. She warned me that she just got out of a long relationship and she wanted something chill for now. I ignore it and still put pressure on her. EVen though I notice its turning her off I keep doing it. For example, she tells me she's busy studying and I find out she goes out later for a quick coffee I get so angry. It comes down to last night where I blow it out of proportion and she says she wants to be friends. She says at the start I was always so chill and so carefree and now I'm strangling her with obligations. So we agree to be friends.

The reason I was so chill at the start was because I felt sorry for the guy and I wanted to help him.l But then I started ot hate him because he turned people against me so I started caring more about how to get him back than her. This turned her off so much. We ended it on good terms though. Like I agreed with her that I was putting too much pressure but it was only because I began hating her ex. I realize now he has every reason to hate me and I'm over hating him. ANd I'm fine with being chill again with her however the image she has of me is so bad I don't think I can show her that I really can be that chill guy again. Im 21 and this is the first girl I've ever loved. I know she liked me and I can get her back but I need some help. I can't even formulate my thoughts properly because I'm in so much pain. Just the mere thought of never having anything with her again. What do I do :(

[redhed35]

Hey.. just read your question.. and what I'm going to say is not what you want to hear..

MOVE ON!

She does not want you. She does not love you.

YOU deserve someone who will care about you and want you.

YOU messed it up by getting all emotional and jealous with her.

Learn from it.

Hearts heal,and someday she will see the good guy you are,but for now,and the next few months,give her loads of space..

Regards.redhed35.