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honormylove · Mar 28, 2009, 08:22 AM

My husband had a baby with me for his sister he tried by lying to prove me unfit he does not supportb us financially or morally he tried to claim the baby for his sister what are his chances re visitation?

JudyKayTee · Mar 28, 2009, 08:42 AM

He's the father - he has legal rights to the child, no matter how/why the child was conceived.

He would have to go to Court, establish paternity and ask for custody (if he can prove you are unfit) or visitation.

You would counter with PROOF that HE is unfit to visit with the child.

The Court will decide.

I don't think your "he had a baby for his sister" argument will go over well with the Court unless you didn't know that that was the master plan when you got pregnant.

ScottGem · Mar 28, 2009, 08:50 AM

Are you saying that your husband got you pregnant, but planned, from before conception to give the child to his sister? And you were not aware of this until he started custody proceedings against you?

Or were you aware of the plan from the beginning and changed your mind after birth?

If you were in on it, was it your egg or hers? You really need to flesh out this story.

honormylove · Mar 29, 2009, 02:30 AM

I got married last year May to whom I thought was a respectable lawyer he is 44 I am 50 I had a baby girl last July she is now 8 months. Since her birth he has never been interested in her never changed a nappy never given her a bath he does not support us financially just a minimum of around 500euros pm I pay all the household bills and I do not have a job I look after my baby. He asked for a divorce 2 weeks after the babies birth because he does not want to support us he then fabricated an incident which initiated a visit from social services he has admitted to them he wanted the baby for his sister the judge has ordered him to go for psychiatric testing what do you think his visitation rights will be?

stevetcg · Mar 29, 2009, 04:36 AM

First, you had a baby at 49 years old? That's fairly impressinve. :)

In the US, assuming he wasn't considered a threat to the child he probably would get a "normal" visitation (1 night a week, every other weekend) schedule.

But it sounds to me like he isn't interested in being a father, so if I were to guess, he isn't going to use much visitation even if it is awarded. But I could be wrong.

honormylove · Mar 29, 2009, 05:54 AM

Currently divorcing my husband who has never supported us morally or financially I want to return home as I am not French what are the chances of the courts agreeing to my leaving the baby is 8 months old my chances of finding employment here are almost impossible.

DoulaLC · Mar 29, 2009, 07:02 AM

Given what you stated in your other post about the judge ordering some testing due to knowing your husband wanted a baby to give to his sister, I would say that would further your chances of being awarded custody.

However, you will have to consult with a lawyer there in France. It is not uncommon to need the other parent's approval in order for a child to be moved, especially to another country. Much will depend on whether you obtain sole custody or there is joint custody.

honormylove · Mar 29, 2009, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Given what you stated in your other post about the judge ordering some testing due to knowing your husband wanted a baby to give to his sister, I would say that would further your chances of being awarded custody.

However, you will have to consult with a lawyer there in France. It is not uncommon to need the other parent's approval in order for a child to be moved, especially to another country. Much will depend on whether you obtain sole custody or there is joint custody.

Thank you for your response what I am living is a real life nightmare he is vicious I think he is homosexual and is unable to tell the truth he wanted to provide an heir for his family and wanted to get rid of me immediately after the birth I was stupidly nieve and fell into his trap

honormylove · Mar 31, 2009, 01:33 AM

My husband who is a lawyer and I are divorcing at one point he suggested I sue an ex because he had hit me, he occupied the file now we are divorcing he is trying to use that file against me re custody of our baby when in fact I was the victim not the aggressor my husband is due to undergo psychiatric testing he has followed me around the house since the birth of our 8 month old baby being aggressive then when I got nervous he tapes me . Please assure me this is not normal behaviour he arranged some very odd sex objects in our bedroom he told me he has no sexual appetite help what did I marry.

honormylove · Apr 1, 2009, 09:24 AM

If OCPD is diagnosed can it affect visitation rights to a young baby

stevetcg · Apr 2, 2009, 04:24 AM

Only if it determined that you are a danger to the child.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 2, 2009, 04:37 AM

It should have little effect to even custody as long as it is controlled and there is no danger to the child

Of course in a hateful separation, expect it to come up

stevetcg · Apr 2, 2009, 08:43 AM

honormylove agrees: you have misunderstood it is my husband that has the problem not me

I apologize but the answer remains the same.

honormylove · Apr 3, 2009, 12:34 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

I apologize but the answer remains the same.

Dear Steve thank you for your answer it is difficult as you don't have all the information top hand baby was conceived by IVF that I paid for 30,000euros 2 weeks after the babies birth I discovered he had placed é large cartons of fetishist sex objects in our bedroom when I threw them out I found him on all fours lovingingly handling them and rearranging them back in a case .He then announced he wanted a divorce said it was because it would be too expensive in 2 to 3 years he spent the next 3 to 4 months trying to give me a nervous breakdown which he did not succeed but he used tactics like leaving the house open because all the furniture is mine , not closing the gates in order to get my pets run over, then when I reacted following me around with recording equiptment. He fabricated a horror story for social services when asked why he told them he wanted the baby for his sister. He arrived in Jan with father who is a retired doctor , sister and mother , they attempted to kidnap the baby by trying to have me locked up but I managed to call the police and he was prevented nevertheless the mother had emptyed out all the babies cupboards .After this I moved out until the court hearing we arte now awaiting the court order next week which again will change after the divorce but the judge has insisted he go for psychiatric testing , now you have a bit more info do you still feel the same.

stevetcg · Apr 3, 2009, 04:37 AM

My answer does not change, but you have asked similar questions before and the answer remains similar: you both have rights to the child.

I am not sure how things are in France or the UK, but in the US, as long as a parent is not a danger to the child and is fit as a parent, medical conditions will have little bearing on the court hearing and judgement.

artlady · Apr 3, 2009, 04:41 AM

I would make it clear to the court or judge that there is a history of mental illness,if you can prove it and insist on supervised visitation.

honormylove · Apr 5, 2009, 01:19 AM

I discovered my new husband is a fetishist I discovered 2 cartons of his horrible kit which I threw out he arranged it with loving affection he also claims to be misogynist I fear he also has ocd to ocpd he is obliged to have psychiatric testing social services are aware how will this affect visitation to our young baby daughter

Jake2008 · Apr 5, 2009, 07:09 AM

It is amazing how people can hide who they really are. You think you know somebody and find out after you marry them that they have some serious psychiatric problems.

I'm not sure what your question is. Has he been ordered for evaluation by social services before he's allowed visitation?

Jake2008 · Apr 5, 2009, 11:34 AM

Honor,

I'm shaking my head here. I can totally understand your concern. I would be in a panic too.

I'm surprised that the judge ordered a psychiatric exam, and did not temporarily at least, insist on supervised visitation.

But that doesn't help you now. They will no doubt come to some assessment, these are very thorough, and that should give you some leverage and peace of mind.

I am hoping one of our legal experts can weigh in here and offer some concrete advice, or suggestions as to what to do in the meantime.

I know if I were a judge and it were up to me, what I would do, but I'm no expert.

I'm going to keep checking, so keep us up to date okay?

JudyKayTee · Apr 6, 2009, 11:12 AM

All else aside - he will only totally lose custody if he is a danger to the child. Any other habits he has (cross dressing, fetishes, whatever) have little bearing on his ability to be a good father. I know it's shocking but that is how it is.

What stage are you at in the Court proceedings? I assume you have filed for sole custody and no visitation by him and he has responded with a request for visitation. Have you requested supervised visitation only?