[smoothy]

I'll agree different strokes for different folks... but stress and its consequences are very real. High Blood pressure, ulcers etc... are not trivial and not something that a person should self impose because of a third party that is intent on ruining their own lives. Which as adults they are legally entitled to do.


You might escape it for a while... but it always catches up with you eventually.

[chrissymarie]

After I reread your post I must ask "what did her parents do to change her slutty ways when she was young?" You stated she had a baby at 14 so they knew she was having sex? If they didn't do nothing back then why are they complaining now?

Also, did she not have a father in her life or her baby doesn't?

I don't think it really matters because many people I know grew up fatherless and have a productive lifestyle. Their mother was all they needed and usually their mother was a strong person that stirred them in the right direction with a iron fist.

Well she doesn't have parents, she has a mom. Her mom is just like Sara but a little less promiscious. They both live wild, dangerous, and destructive lifes. Her mom is always in the bars drinking or working at her boutique or on a date or at the gym. Sara has pretty much been on her own since her dad left. Her mom just thinks it's not her responsibility to control sara and her behaviour and never has. I guess she lacks that mom gene. She doesn't have a father of her own but her child does, the father has full custody of her child although it hasn't been forced to be that way in a court or anything it just is. At 13 sara's mom let saras 18 year old boyfriend live with them and during that he got her pregnant and of course they broke up soon after that. I never understood why her mom let the guy live with them but back then I used to think it was cool of her. Now I see that it was a huge mistake. Her mother is not complaining. I feel I have just come to my last nerve. After hearing the story about how my bf's friends passed her around like trash (and this isn't the first story I've heard like that) I just feel like if there was ever a time to intervene now is the best. Especially because she's found a new group of girls who encourage her behaviour.

I guess I was just trying to find a way to get her help but she just has to want help herself. Because she thinks there is nothing wrong with the way she is and will not admit there is for anything in the world. She called me hammered last night (wednesday night) and told me where she was going to stay the night in case anything happened. This has been a routine for about a year. I was mad so I told her I don't care where she's staying she should be at home with her legs closed taking care of her son. She just hung up on me. She hasn't called nor text me back. She just doesn't want help. I'm just going to back off and let her self destruct. Its my only choice. I don't control Sara nor influence her.

[GNL685]

Also sorry to say but in this day and age girls my age have no issues with the feminine name calling, such as bi**h, hoe, slut, etc etc.

Sorry to say but I'm probably not much older than you and there is an issue with that. Its immature to say the least. And makes you look ignorant when your using those words.

[chrissymarie]

Sorry to say but I'm probably not much older than you and there is an issue with that. Its immature to say the least. And makes you look ignorant when your using those words.

Well I'm 20 and a stripper who grew up in the hood but moved to the upper class suburbs at age 16. Yes these words are common in my life. That is why I am in the habit of using them so freely. But I have already acknowledged that it is wrong to say those words. I am trying to fix all my bad habits one day at a time.

[liz28]

Your friend didn't grow up in a structure environment. Her life was base on what she saw her mother do. Her mom wasn't a mom at all and allow her to have sex at such a young age even allowed her adult boyfriend to move in while she was very young. Who knows what else happen?

If any other family members were aware at what was going on they should've stepped in and remove her from this house. They could have done so because the mom was unfit in so many ways.

Your friend might need counselling but she has to want it and if you can't trust your friend then yes you shouldn't be her friend.

[GNL685]

Yea I understand where your coming from. I'm 23 and I grew up in a horrible place where there are murders ever day and in the past year 6 people I grew up with went to jail for murder.. 2 are there for life with no parole and the other 4 are still waiting for trial. Not to mention the people who were killed. There's a lot of gang activity and I'm scared to be close with ANYONE for fear they will be killed or kill. If that isn't the "hood" I don't know what is. And that's only this past year. But I'm still intelligent and don't use those words. Every girl I know uses them and uugh its just gross. Even though it's all around you you can prove yourself to be above peoples level who talk that way. I mean mostly it's just immature girls rite. That need to call people names to make them feel better about themselves.Anyways I know a lot of girls like that around here. And it's the girls that call people those names that are that way themselves. They take the things they do and put it on someone else so they look betetr? You know what I mean? I'm not saying your doing that at all but I'm just saying it can make you look bad when you're really not. And just by living in this city a lot of people associate t he girls who live here that way. But I choose not to let it bug me. Well about your situation with your friend. I have a friend who I grew up with and she started being promiscuous and doing drugs. When people saw me with her they automatically assumed the same thing about me. But through all these years every time I need someone she's been the only one there for me even when we fight. We fight for like 5 minutes and it's done. I can always go to her. I think you should have some sort of intervention with her and tell her that you care about her and her behavior is making you worried for her life. Don't be mean to her and call her names. She's probably already used to that.

[Xrayman]

yea I understand where your coming from. I'm 23 and I grew up in a horrible place where there are murders ever day and in the past year 6 people i grew up with went to jail for murder.. 2 are there for life with no parole and the other 4 are still waiting for trial. Not to mention the people who were killed. There's a lot of gang activity and I'm scared to be close with ANYONE for fear they will be killed or kill. If that isn't the "hood" I don't know what is. And that's only this past year. But I'm still intelligent and don't use those words. Every girl i know uses them and uugh its just gross.

well said.

Ever heard of the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together"?

or,

Talk like a slut=is a slut,

Generally speaking, people associate how you speak to how you are perceived to be.