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artlady · Mar 24, 2009, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by lady tine

okey how should i end it...

i don't want to tlak to him... and infact he doesn't even know that i am thinking about break up

You can email him.That would be my suggestion because if you text he will text you back and most likely try to talk you out of it.

It is probably ideal for him as well because he really does not have to commit to you because you are taken so he may try to hold on to this relationship. Be prepared to defend your position.Stand strong.

lady tine · Mar 25, 2009, 06:37 PM

Okey he is married two and has 2 kids like me.

And basically our relationship is like this. We chat online while at work. And on weekends text to meet up to have sex. That's all it was basically and in that time say 2hrs we share the little about each other.

I feel like I hardly know him... I am alone so I keep in touch with him for company...

But honestly I just want to end it.

He is not at work today. Should I emial him that ist over telling him exactly what...

neverme · Mar 25, 2009, 06:39 PM

End it one way or another. If you feel more comfortable with email, then do that.

Do it now, get it over with.

lady tine · Mar 25, 2009, 06:43 PM

Exactly how do I start?

Won't he think I am doing what I did that last time

Do I need to explain why?

JoeCanada76 · Mar 25, 2009, 06:52 PM

Stop it already. Send an email. Its over, end it. Very simple enough already. That is it. It is even worse to know that he is married with kids.

You need to seek counselor right away. You need one.

friend4u178 · Mar 25, 2009, 06:53 PM

Geez really it can't be that hard if you REALLY want to do this.

Just TELL HIM , email ,text whatever. Then hope your Hubby never finds out.

Sorry to be harsh but I feel more sorry for your husband and his wife!

talaniman · Mar 25, 2009, 07:42 PM

Your starting to make excuses, just email him goodbye forever, and delete his responses, and never contact him for any reason. Your making something simple, into something hard.

lady tine · Mar 25, 2009, 08:30 PM

What if he tries to contact me?

talaniman · Mar 25, 2009, 08:32 PM

Do Not respond! He will find another booty call, somewhere else.

lady tine · Mar 29, 2009, 03:16 PM

I managed to tell him its over by email and it felt really good... he replied to my email... texted to meet and then called but I never replied to him... but on Saturday I he called from another phone whereby I answered it was him I asked me for some time to talk and I told him that there is nothing to talk about... and ended the conversation... see what I mean he keeps coming back... I don't want him in my life... what do I do to get rid of him...

neverme · Mar 29, 2009, 03:23 PM

IGNORE HIM!

You've started well now just continue.

Change your phone number if you have to..
Change your email.. whatever it takes.

friend4u178 · Mar 29, 2009, 03:23 PM

Keep doing what you just did this time , he will eventually get the picture and get sick of trying to contact you.

rippedinside · Mar 29, 2009, 03:27 PM

I agree with everyone else. Just ignore, and continue on.

I do feel extremely bad for your husband and his wife, I was a victim and is one of the worst feelings ever.

Just concentrate on your marriage for now, and your kids. Kids get affected by this stuff too. My dad cheated on my mom and it really did hurt us.

lady tine · Mar 29, 2009, 03:42 PM

Thanks guys... so the main point is don't let him get to me...

This has been a really help...

Thanks

friend4u178 · Mar 29, 2009, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by lady tine

thanks guys ..... so the main point is don't let him get to me...

this has been a realy help....

Thanks

Glad to see your finally getting it ;)

lady tine · Mar 29, 2009, 09:35 PM

My whole day has gone with no distribance from the man I was having an affair with which is great...

I just have this one scared feeling that he's going to contact me back... which I know what to do not contact from my side but how do I get that feeling out of me...

artlady · Mar 29, 2009, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by lady tine

my whole day has gone with no distribance from the man i was having an affair with whcih is great....

i just have this one scared feeling that he's gonna contact me back... which i know what to do not contact from my side but how do i get that feeling out of me.....

Don't worry about what hasn't happened yet.You can make yourself nuts wondering
*what if*?

Just stick to your original plan of ending it and eventually he will get the message.

If you concentrate your efforts on figuring out what made you cheat and find the tools to insure that you will never do it again,you won't have time to worry about *what if* he calls you again.

If he does continue to bug you tell him,either leave me alone or I am telling your wife.

talaniman · Mar 30, 2009, 05:32 AM

You have a husband to keep you busy.

lady tine · Mar 31, 2009, 03:27 PM

Well to be honest it feels great to be free from affair... but I really feel hurt from guilt for what I have done... and what hurts is how I feel ike being used for sex by my former lover... how to get over his... because now I realised it was all about sex...

liz28 · Mar 31, 2009, 04:12 PM

Originally Posted by lady tine

what hurts is how i feel ike being used for sex by my former lover.... how to get over his..... coz now i realised it was all about sex....

The two of you was using each other, not just him. You have to own up to your actions too and shift the blame on him. Both of you was wrong because your both was married and your unfaithness is unfair to them.

However, I am glad you feel guilty because it shows you've a conscience. Some cheaters don't. I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this and don't repeat it. Now you've to face your guilt and if you need help to cope through it you can see a therapist or come here but you have to let it out and not have it manifest in you.

Think of the guilt as a seat-belt for your soul. It's your brain's way of telling you not to cheat again. It's reminding you that the fun of being unfaithful is not worth the hassle of deceiving someone.