[screwedupmom]

My 21 year old daughter is using everything that she says like a knief to cut through
My heart and I have tried to tell her that I do love her and she refuses to believe me
What can I do

[meena17]

Spoil her.. u probably don't spoil her as much as u spoils your other kids.. so get her what ever she wants listen to her.. SPOIL IS THE ANSWER

[screwedupmom]

spoil her..u probably dont spoil her as much as u spoils your other kids..so get her what ever she wants listen to her..SPOIL IS THE ANSWER

I give her things the other kids don't get and she goes wherever she wants and stays out
Late and I only ask for a phone call to let me know she is safe

[artlady]

Why does she feel you don't love her?
There is a reason for her feeling this way.

More information would be helpful to give a complete answer.

[screwedupmom]

Why does she feel you don't love her?
There is a reason for her feeling this way.

More information would be helpful to give a complete answer.

She says that me talking to her friends and finding out from them she stayed out all night with a guy she meet and the fact that I don't like one of her friends is reason

[JoeCanada76]

You should stay out of your daughters business.

She is 21 years old.

You need to realize that your daughter is growing up and you can not be there every step of the way.

Sorry hope this does not sound insensitive but you need to let her leave her nest and let her develop and learn and grow on her own. Without you interfering.

Love her yes, support her in anyway she wants, but you need to realize there are bounderies you should not cross with your daughter.

[artlady]

She says that me talking to her friends and finding out from them she stayed out all night with a guy she meet and the fact that I dont like one of her friends is reason

She does not like the fact that you are a concerned parent.Who is looking out for her best interest.

You would think at 21 she would be mature enough to understand it comes from love.

I would tell her that as long as she is in your home,she will treat you with the respect that you deserve as a parent.If she does not like that ,then she is old enough to be out on her own.

She sounds like a spoiled child who is not getting her way and having a tantrum.

She needs to grow up.

Until she can live by your rules,I would not help her in any way.The real world is harsh and she does not know how good she has it.

Stop doing for her and help her to learn to help herself.

[mudweiser]

If she still lives in your home, what she does does concern you [to a point]. However, maybe the way you approach her or do the 'reach-around' by going to her friends behind her back is the wrong way.

Try talking it out like adults- if she chooses to throw hissy fits and act like a child, I suggest kicking her out because you don't need that.

If she lives on her own, sorry momma but if it doesn't involve drugs or excessive alcohol drinking then take Jesushelpers advice.

MRS.S

[screwedupmom]

She does live at home she does not make enough money to move out on her own I try to talk to her and what she tells me is to get out and shut up

[JoeCanada76]

You do understand that interfering with her friends is not good, right.

As far as getting out and shutting up that is not good. What are you saying to her?

Please help us by telling us more, thank you.

[screwedupmom]

You do understand that interfering with her friends is not good, right.

As far as getting out and shutting up that is not good. What are you saying to her?

Please help us by telling us more, thank you.

I am only trying to talk to her about how she is making me feel and how I worry about her I think I have that right considering that I am her mother

[JoeCanada76]

Yes, you can worry about her. There is a balance though. If you extremely worry about her every move and you never give her any space, then your suffocating her and she is maybe rebelling and saying things like that to you for you to back away.

Even though you worry about her, getting involved in her friends is not good.

Joe

[mudweiser]

I am only trying to talk to her about how she is making me feel and how I worry about her I think I have that right considering that I am her mother

Your right.. She is your daughter!

So are you asking: "Why are you being such a little twit to me?" [or something of the sort]. If you immediately place blame you won't get a positive response.

How are you communicating to your daughter?

Chances are you are trying to connect to her in a manner she finds offensive.

MRS.S

[screwedupmom]

I am just asking her to be truthfull to me she has done this once before and has tried to lie about it but her sister was with her and she told me the truth I asked her about this and she lied to me is asking for the truth too much

[JoeCanada76]

What truth? What lie? Does she have to tell you everything? Just because she is not telling you something does not mean it's a lie, maybe its because its none of your business.

[liz28]

I hope your making her pay her way. For example:rent, half of light bill, etc

When I lived with my mom in my adulthood my mom was always, as I call it, in my business. I used to get upset about it but I never got disrespectful to her because my mom wasn't afraid to knock me out nor kick me out. So I dealt with her behavior until I moved out.

Believe it or not my mother is my best friend. I call her whenever I leave for work and return home from it to inform her I got to where I went or going safely and she does the same. Whenever I feels she is crossing the line I let her know and she respect that.

I can understand you questioning your daughter actions especially if she is going to a guy house that she doesn't know in this day and age. Does she watch the news?

[katiesxx]

You have got to try and prove yourself to your daughter, try seeing a doctor he/she will give you options, good luck