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jmw0713 · Mar 9, 2009, 06:17 AM

You have to believe that it will get better and believe in yourself that you can over come this. Life always throws challenges at us. How we handle this challenges is what really defines you as a person.

You will succeed and you will feel better.

Let time do it's work and you will start seeing the light at the end.

heartbroke · Mar 17, 2009, 12:20 AM

Trevor any new updates?

Entropic · Mar 17, 2009, 12:54 PM

Uh, no, nothing new really. Still haven't talked to her or seen her, not sure how long its been now, still feel really terrible and can't stop thinking about all of it.

Just kind of wonder how long I'm going to feel like this.

jmw0713 · Mar 17, 2009, 01:23 PM

You will feel like this for a while. I keep reading where people say it can take up to 2 months for every year you were together to get over someone. I am a little over half way there myself going by that assumption.

Remember, it takes time to heal. You are doing well. Try to make plans with some friends to keep your mind off things.

You're doing great!

Entropic · Mar 18, 2009, 07:22 PM

These last few days have been really hard for some reason, I've somehow been thinking of her even more than usual. I keep imagining myself talking to her and telling her how I've been feeling and how I can't stop thinking about her, and that she'll tell me she feels the same way and then she gives me another chance. I know it won't work that way, and it'll probably be more like after I tell her how I feel, she just thinks I'm more weird and stupid.

I just feel so bad all of the time now, I don't know what to do.. and I know I'm just beating a dead horse now, but I really can't handle this, I know I'm supposed to just keep up no contact, but I feel like I'm losing the strength to keep it up. I want to talk to her so badly that it's ridiculous, and I know I'm just going to feel even worse when I see her with her new boyfriend and how I've probably been completely forgotten at this point, or at least to the point that she isn't thinking of me at all.

It's so weird to think that she's constantly on my mind, but I'm probably never on hers now. Ugh.. I hate this helpless feeling, I just wish there was something I could do.

heartbroke · Mar 18, 2009, 07:32 PM

Same with me bud, we went out for a year and its been about 2 months since we broke and I still feel the same way about her. This is my 8th attempt at NC. I stopped talking to her last week on the 13th. It ended bad, me lashing out at her and telling her to fck off. But I'm still in love... how silly do I sound :(

Entropic · Mar 18, 2009, 08:46 PM

This is still my first attempt at no contact, but I'm really wearing thin. Don't know if I'll be able to keep it up. I think I'm at somewhere like a month and a half maybe? Sort of lost track, but it feels like it has been forever, and I really hate it.

heartbroke · Mar 18, 2009, 09:00 PM

Damn your doing better than I am, but nothing around here helps me, I see her friends everywhere I go, her car, even the last guy that posted on my situation left his name which is the same as hers.

Entropic · Mar 19, 2009, 12:36 AM

Ah, Heartbroke, I know exactly what you mean, every little thing seems to remind me of her and its like there is no escaping thinking about her even if you manage to for just a moment.

Just today her sister tagged me in three pictures of her and I at a wedding and I get to endure seeing how gorgeous she looked in her summer dress back then and how we were together and laughing and enjoying life, and now I wake up and wonder what the point is in getting out of bed.

This kind of thing seems to keep happening to me and I lose my mind a little more every time something like this happens.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2009, 06:17 AM

Hang in there, you will get tired of feeling bad, and find something else to do that makes you feel good. Breaking NC will only be worse than it is now.

jmw0713 · Mar 19, 2009, 06:18 AM

Go for 2 months, then 2.5 months, and then 3 months. Make small goals for yourself. When you feel like calling her, just keep putting it off a while longer. For example, if you really feel you need to talk to her, tell yourself you will do it tomorrow. When tomorrow comes if you still feel that way, tell yourself you will do it the next day. Keep putting this need for contact off for a little while at a time. Before you know it, it will be another couple of weeks that you have gone NC and another couple of weeks that you have continued healing.

As for thinking about the ex... I think anyone in our situation goes through periods like this. Heck, I've been on strict NC for almost 3 months, but I actually attempted to start NC almost 5 months ago (I had a few slips). I still think about her, fairly frequently. I was on the verge of tears last night.

The point is, you will never forget them or the things you shared with them. It just that the strength of those feelings you had for them get weaker as time moves forward. You have to remain strong through this period and commit yourself to over coming this and moving forward.

You have to do this for yourself, in order to make life beyond this point better.

Entropic · Mar 24, 2009, 10:39 PM

So.. I have a situation.

Her birthday is coming up on April 1st, and I would really like to get her something, but I don't know if I should.

She got me a PSP and a bunch of games and other nice things for my birthday and it was amazing, I would feel pretty awful if I just blew off her birthday.

Even with what she did for me being put aside, I just feel like getting her something would be nice, but I don't know if it is the right thing to do or not... ehhh.. confusing.

Dare81 · Mar 24, 2009, 11:36 PM

Originally Posted by Entropic

So.. I have a situation.

Her birthday is coming up on April 1st, and I would really like to get her something, but I don't know if I should.

She got me a PSP and a bunch of games and other nice things for my birthday and it was amazing, I would feel pretty awful if I just blew off her birthday.

Even with what she did for me being put aside, I just feel like getting her something would be nice, but I don't know if it is the right thing to do or not... ehhh.. confusing.

She broke up with you, meaning she does not want you to be part of her life.Give her what she wants. And by giving her a present for her birthday you are just going to look desperate.

Entropic · Mar 25, 2009, 12:21 AM

Well.. that isn't entirely true, she only dosen't want me as hey boyfriend right now. She still wanted me as a "friend" - I was the one who decided on this whole No Contact thing.

I don't know, this just dosen't feel right.

If you went way the hell out of your way to get someone a very expensive gift among many other expensive gifts and you gave them an incredible birthday, wouldn't you feel under-appreciated if (even after you decided you want a "break" from them) they completely ignore your birthday and do nothing?

Eeeee...

Dare81 · Mar 25, 2009, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by Entropic

Well.. that isn't entirely true, she only dosen't want me as hey boyfriend right now. She still wanted me as a "friend" - I was the one who decided on this whole No Contact thing.

I don't know, this just dosen't feel right.

If you went way the hell out of your way to get someone a very expensive gift among many other expensive gifts and you gave them an incredible birthday, wouldn't you feel under-appreciated if (even after you decided you want a "break" from them) they completely ignore your birthday and do nothing?

Eeeee...

Wake up and smell the coffee, she still wanted to be friends that's the bull sh-- line they feed us when they are breking up with us

Romefalls19 · Mar 25, 2009, 05:19 AM

The friends line is nothing more than them trying to ease their own guilt. You have done nothing but go against every piece of advice we have given you. We say don't write a letter, you write one. We say don't talk to her, you talk to her. Obviously your way is not working, so why don't you take our advice. It hasn't worked your way, so give ours a try

UnluckyDucky · Mar 25, 2009, 06:28 AM

Entropic;1625573, So.. I have a situation.

Her birthday is coming up on April 1st, and I would really like to get her something, but I don't know if I should.

Hey Gear, DON'T DO EEET! No good can come of this. Let's play "what if" for a minute. Say you get her something and send it to her but she doesn't respond. Now you're going to be fretting over if she got it, if she didn't like it, etc. etc. So what if you get her something and she says thank you. Now you're going to be analyzing her reply trying to figure out if "she still likes/wants you".

Seriously, don't do it. Save yourself the time, money, and energy. She's moved on so let sleeping dogs lie. Trust us here, you'll feel better for NOT doing something like this down the road.

jmw0713 · Mar 25, 2009, 06:51 AM

You owe her nothing. No presents, no happy birthday, and no card. She lost the privilege of getting all of those things from you when she broke up with you.

You need to start devoting your time and emotional energy you are wasting on her toward something else.

a la king · Mar 25, 2009, 10:32 AM

This has been going on so long it seems like it's just a big joke..

talaniman · Mar 25, 2009, 10:47 AM

My friend, all that lovey, dovey, caring, and sharing, stuff stopped when you broke up!

That's a clear and undisputed fact you MUST accept, and deal with.

All that, is in the past, enjoy the memory, but look ahead. No gifts, cards, or emails!

Stay with NO Contact.